To feel so Monday happy when DP goes to work

[FredFerrous]

DP just winds me up all weekend. Started this weekend on Sat morning when I just wanted some quick clarification over my salary. He ended up going off on a tangent, and just talking for ages and ages about new legislation over holiday pay.

Then - he never knows what’s going on/where we need to be/or at what time.

Sport goes on the television, minimal interaction with he children despite the fact he’s hardly seen them all week.

No housework done unless asked - however he does cook (usually something complicated requiring every utensil we own).

He uses the term ‘fresh socks’. I cringe every time he says it. Why not say clean socks??

I try to be in a room he’s not in or escape upstairs - but he starts following me about.

He wants me to hang the towel a particular way over the bathroom radiator (so the towel doesn’t potentially touch the door?? - (it doesn’t… )). Apparently this needs a 5 minute explanation. I tried to tune this out…

He’s just left for work and won’t be home til 9pm. Hurrah.

It's the daily threads like these which means we as a society need to work harder to get the message out there that 'being single is absolutely marvellous.' Huge numbers of women don't seem to realise this or even consider it as an option despite literally despising their husbands and their lives.

If he annoys you this much then make a plan to leave. You only get one life and in my experience the odd things in his character that irritate you will become more entrenched and your irritation will increase to the point that you can barely be in the same room.
Leaving just gets harder. It doesn’t sounds like he is bad man (not winning awards on any front) but not the worst, but that doesn’t mean you owe your one and only life to exist like this.
Imagine what life will be like when the kids leave home and you start retirement? Build your own life that makes you happy

What a horrible home this must be, especially for the children.

i felt like that about mine
he didn't do any of the things you mentioned
he would just breathed it annoyed the fuck out of me
i live alone now

Everyone gets annoyed with their partners from time to time (we all do annoying things), but when it gets to the stage saying something about socks annoys you, I really think its time to have a deep think. Financial security is not a reason to stay together. Children pick up on unhappy marriages.

Also, what about the future when he retires. If he annoys you now (out of the house all week), what about possibly having 30 (or more) years together?

I think its healthy for married couples to go to work/socialise apart in the week, but actively looking forward to it and wishing the weekend away is very sad.

We all have things about us that irritate our partners. It is about compromise and accepting each others "quirks" Does not mean we can not get aggravated, but I would rather live with my sock dropping, tissues on his beside table , never taking his glass of water to kitchen from bedside table in morning, droning ON AND ON about things like politics and his sports picks for the betting pool..than be without him. I am sure there are things about me that tick him off..but we are partners and at the end of the day, we have each others backs.

Absolutely this

Doesn’t sound much like the OP and her partner have each other’s backs though.

Why are you with someone it sounds like you can't stand?

Is the money enough to make it worth it?

OP there is hope! I too get irrationally irritated by my DH, and work out ways to avoid but for some reason this has lifted now, whether temporarily or not IDK. I started to ask him to do more stuff, rather than just hope he'd magically pick up on it whichay have helped.

The minutiae of a relationship with a person you obviously hate isn't as interesting as why you're persisting with it.

You obv dont like him. Pack a bag and leave him be then.

Me🙋I love mine to bits!

Fast forward ... Have you considered what he'll be like when he retires? There's a thread at the moment about a recently retired husband volunteering his working wife for every task his hobby people require and it's driving her mad. This will be you.

@FredFerrous why don’t you start putting them in the fridge? Then you can say ‘surely that’s where we put things we want to stay fresh, or would you like me to go back to putting them in your sock drawer, which I will if you promise to call them ‘clean’ socks instead?’ 😬

Well it's a bed of your own making - you are choosing to stay with him, so consider those two days and the cringe at 'fresh socks' as the price you are paying for financial comfort. No-one is making you do this except you, and you can make a different choice at any point.

I think it’s because you don’t like him. Anything he says will get on your nerves. Fresh socks is a cringey phrase but you’d probably overlook it if everything else was good.

Ffs, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with saying ‘fresh socks’. It’s not cringy, it’s just a phrase some people use. It’ll piss you off if you actively hate the person saying it.

And it doesn’t have anything to do with something being refrigerated. Loads of companies make a ‘fresh linen’ scent. I don’t think they are referring to linen that has been in the fridge…

Of course we all have our quirks, but the OP isn’t complaining that her partner isn’t perfect.
She’s saying she spends her weekends avoiding him, being irritated by what he does and doesn’t do and celebrates when he goes to work.
The only real positive is that they are financially sound. That’s not a good way to live.

I think you should split up but at the same time you hardly sound a catch yourself being so nit picky over small things like what he calls socks! He probably finds you a pain in the aris as well and enjoys going to work.

Isn't it absolutely obvious @momager1 and @Isitautumnyet23, and others, that from the tone of the op, that this isn't a relationship where they actually love each other despite a few quirks, but rather one where they most certainly do not like each other or have each others backs?

But is your Dad happy with this set up?

Me too! And we all have annoying quirks.

With the sock thing - fresh socks would mean not dirty to me, straight out the dryer/washing line. I probably wouldn’t even pick up on it? I think things must be pretty bad to be annoyed by this when you have barely seen each other all week.

@FredFerrous but. do you love him? I do not agree with some of the others. I believe you are having a moan about him and it is fine to feel relief. I used to feel that after a long weekend where he was in my "zone" and getting in my way so to speak. Not going to lie..now that we are retired (early mid fifties) If he says he is going for a nap, I have an inner happy dance going on. Not because I do not love him. I love him very very much, but my routines and my solitude is very much a part of me and I need it! I do not read this as you do not love your husband, I read it as you are tired, burnt out and do not appreciate him micromanaging you on the weekends. Talk to him. Really talk. Get angry if you have to.