To feel so Monday happy when DP goes to work

[FredFerrous]

DP just winds me up all weekend. Started this weekend on Sat morning when I just wanted some quick clarification over my salary. He ended up going off on a tangent, and just talking for ages and ages about new legislation over holiday pay.

Then - he never knows what’s going on/where we need to be/or at what time.

Sport goes on the television, minimal interaction with he children despite the fact he’s hardly seen them all week.

No housework done unless asked - however he does cook (usually something complicated requiring every utensil we own).

He uses the term ‘fresh socks’. I cringe every time he says it. Why not say clean socks??

I try to be in a room he’s not in or escape upstairs - but he starts following me about.

He wants me to hang the towel a particular way over the bathroom radiator (so the towel doesn’t potentially touch the door?? - (it doesn’t… )). Apparently this needs a 5 minute explanation. I tried to tune this out…

He’s just left for work and won’t be home til 9pm. Hurrah.

Goodness me OP. No hate or malice intended but your life genuinely seems so small – towel games, obsessing over common daily phrases like 13 year olds on Tik Tok (they like randomly declaring phrases "cringe").

Surely there's a more fulfilling, interesting way to live. Have you a career? A track record of happiness with previous partners, or does it always end like that in your view?

Sounds like you both need to take a step back and help each other. Me an dh review this together once in a while. I started it to help me when I was resentful he was working and I was SAP (my choice). After I got some traction, I got him to work through it too. I hope it helps.

Just adding on – you don't have to answer here as you're not accountable to anyone here, but think about it if you're willing to – could it be resentment that your husband has a richer, wider life than you, a place / places to go and come back from?

This
Agree 100%
Need to change your attitude towards him 💐

Fresh socks!! 😷😷 eeurghh..

😱 to a date night, or quality time alone. I NEED the kids there if we go out. They provide the entertainment and steer it away from - potentially - a four hour monologue about the intricacies of new holiday pay legislation.

what are you with him if he is so unreasonable? Can you answer that question?

She answered upthread. Money.

And damaging the kids and their perspectives on relationships, all whilst she enjoys her ‘financial security’.

Its so sad.

The kids seem incredibly happy though. Both nailing school, both full of fun and energy - spend most of the day laughing. Yes I’m financially secure, but I don’t ‘want’ material things.

I want the kids to thrive and I want them to have toys, days out, clubs they enjoy, play dates etc.

They are both absolute beauties and I love them SO much.

You’re not married right? I wouldn’t bank on your financial security in that case, especially when he realises how much contempt you have for him.

Do you think children from divorced parents aren't thriving then? Cos that'd be wrong. And they have the added future advantage that their parent has taught them about relationships. Own it - you're staying for the money. You know full well children of divorced parents are absolutely fine.

I think it’s one thing to use him for his cash, but to then go online and be utterly contemptuous of your cash cow is just poor taste.

What age are they? Do you think they wont notice as they get older? I have lots of divorced friends (some with great relationships with their ex) who have perfectly happy settled children with amazing lives. They will notice at some point.

I think your relationship is going to be very interesting when your kids become teenagers or school refusers...

I truly hope someone shares this thread with him so he can go and find someone who also loves fresh socks and doesn't just want him for his money 😥.

My parents didn’t like each when I was growing up. In fact my mum stopped talking to my dad altogether. It was not a happy home and not a good environment to grow up in. Of course my brother and I noticed the “atmosphere”.
It seems to me that you’ve reached the end of the road and it would be best all round to split up.

The op knows whats what. She knows she's only there for his money and she'll know the kids will pick up on the undercurrent of mum hating dad but cant face leaving.
But its easier to lie and say the kids are so happy and content and its all wonderful. As long as he's out..

Just wondering here if you're married to my ex...hehe. Anyhow, the whole using all the utensils thing and his not wanting the towel to touch the door sounds a bit like OCD. But if course you have to take all the rest into account. From what you've shared, he seems to be a good husband, and maybe what you need to is find a way to deal with his "things".

Howsyour sex life ? If that's shit too then there isn't much worth saving here...