To feel so Monday happy when DP goes to work

[FredFerrous]

DP just winds me up all weekend. Started this weekend on Sat morning when I just wanted some quick clarification over my salary. He ended up going off on a tangent, and just talking for ages and ages about new legislation over holiday pay.

Then - he never knows what’s going on/where we need to be/or at what time.

Sport goes on the television, minimal interaction with he children despite the fact he’s hardly seen them all week.

No housework done unless asked - however he does cook (usually something complicated requiring every utensil we own).

He uses the term ‘fresh socks’. I cringe every time he says it. Why not say clean socks??

I try to be in a room he’s not in or escape upstairs - but he starts following me about.

He wants me to hang the towel a particular way over the bathroom radiator (so the towel doesn’t potentially touch the door?? - (it doesn’t… )). Apparently this needs a 5 minute explanation. I tried to tune this out…

He’s just left for work and won’t be home til 9pm. Hurrah.

Yep. After observing what happened to my female friends when they had kids, I decided not to do it. That said, if the OP can’t leave, maybe she should make peace with the situation and during the week try to do some more things for herself to make herself happier.

I say fresh shirt, socks, pants, whatever. Haven't given it a seconds' thought. Seems a pretty normal thing to say

You have 2 choices, learn to zone out or leave. My Dh without fail will re hang any washing I put on the line so that it's done his way, he always has a reason. If I disagree with something he says then he will say 'i'm just pointing something out to you' that used to drive me mad. His behaviour hasn't changed in 40 years but my attitude to it has, that is your key to this problem

He sounds fussy and is probably not doing his share of the housework but you do sound a bit nit-picky. Do you like him?

Why is he even asking you about the fresh socks? Do you launder them for him?

I used to be married to someone like this.
He sucked the joy out of me, I had to divorce him.

If you're not happy then divorce him. You don't sound happily married.

I hope he speaks so highly of you as well!

Why don't you just ask him to leave. Ots sounds like you'd be much happier on your own.

Because he will probably say no, why should he just leave?

Ahahah!!
sounds perfectly fine. How many years married? Honestly, chiose your battles.

My advice: take a night out where he has to be home, go out!
and
put the towel the way he prefers, it obviously bugs him 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Hahaa sorry, this really makes me laugh because when my partner says “brekkie” I want to be sick all over the floor. It’s funny how we all have certain things that just make us cringe! But I also resonate with you on all your other points; I always feel like my life would be so much simpler without DP! Struggling lately to see what’s good 😩

I greatly enjoy my DH departure on a Monday because I can get on with things. I love him dearly but he's terrible at housework (taught planned incompetence).

Fresh socks means a laundered pair. My socks are still pretty clean after a short wear but wouldn't be a fresh pair. Dirty socks go in the laundry basket. Clean socks would go on the end of the bed.

I'm hoping what you're feeling is minor irritation rather than a need for divorce.

^ This! It’s shocking how many people on this site goad people into leaving their marriages, over stuff that would happen no matter who you lived with. If I lived with my best friend, I’m pretty sure she would do my head in after some time.

Is he on the Spectrum?
Towels have to hang a certain way, elaborate explanations, can only focus on certain events....

That sounds like my mother in law and she is definitely not autistic.

Why are you in this relationship?

Why do you have multiple children?

Why do you have such low standards?

You clearly don't want to be near him. So sort out your options and best way forward - based on the clearly, obviously, poor choices you've made in life.

It’s really sad that people think this level of disdain for a partner is a normal part of a relationship.

Its not.

You shouldn’t need to avoid your partner all weekend and then feel relief when they leave for work on a Monday morning.

I felt like that with my first husband. I actively despised him by the end. Which wasn’t fair because, despite the fact he was a bit feckless, he had a good heart and wasn’t awful. He just wasn’t the one for me. I left him because we both deserved to love and feel loved by our partners.

Ive been married again now for 15 years and have never celebrated his exit from the house on a Monday morning. In fact, he works from home so we’re together most of the week and I still never wish he wasn’t here.

YES

Is this a joke ? I take it , it really is ..?

If I went around saying ‘fresh knickers’ - that would sound really urk though - wouldn’t it?? Clean knickers is fine. Fresh knickers is not fine.

Fressshhhhhh knickers….

Time for you to move out I think!

Any sucking type behaviour ceased a good few years ago. And I’d say that was directly proportional to the increasing lack of household support/other annoyances.

The bathroom towel police were back yesterday at 9pm, and I didn’t engage. He never washes the bloody towels, or even puts them in the laundry - and insists on using the biggest towels possible so there is no hanging space. I put one over the bath - and this was apparently a major crime.

I am going to deliberately start hanging towels in odd places in the bathroom…