Lone man in soft play area

[solitudeisbliss]

I was at the local soft play centre with my DD this morning.

While I was there, a man came into the soft play and sat at one of the tables. He didn’t appear to have any children with him when he came in, and after watching him drink his coffee and talk on his phone (through headphones) for 45 minutes, he then got up and left.

I went to speak to the manager after he left and asked if she had noticed that this man didn’t have any children with him.

She just said ‘well sometimes people come in and use this as a cafe which we allow’.

For context, there are many other cafes within a 2 minute walk from the soft play, and it is not inside a shopping centre, it is in its own building next to a retail park. Also, you have to pay to get in, and the area is gated (people on reception have to let you in) so if they wanted to stop people from entering without children they could.

Just wondering if people think this is normal behaviour or if I should raise it with someone (please give me advice on who!) as I feel it’s a potential safeguarding concern.

AIBU - this is completely normal and nothing needs to change

AINBU - there should be a rule stopping lone adults coming in to soft play

I am just going to file this in this didn't happen file.

Or

He was there with a child and you just didn't notice file.

If it’s advertised as a kids play centre and not a cafe that has a child’s play area then I would avoid it in the future.

It's far more likely he arranged to meet the mother of his child there, who could no longer make it and that's what the phone call was about.

I think its more likely he was there with a child and you didn't notice.

But that aside, what was the safeguarding issue if he didn't have any contact with any children? How does it differ to random adults being in the company of children literally anywhere?

They probably just want to make a bit of extra money off coffees for local workers on the estate.
But I agree that it’s really weird for a soft play and maybe the boss hasn’t realised how off putting that is for parents, as well as potentially dangerous. I’d have a word with the owner/head office.

what was the safeguarding issue if he didn't have any contact with any children? How does it differ to random adults being in the company of children literally anywhere?

Lots of children's events and venues don't allow adults who aren't accompanied by a child

I find it hard to believe any lone adult, male or female, would voluntarily go to soft play. No coffee is that good.

our local soft play doesn't allow anyone in without a child or proof that a child is in the soft play already due to an incident that happened once so Yanbu.

Yeah, soft play isn't cheap.

There's no way this guy paid to get in and then paid for coffee on top of that, if there's a cafe 2 minutes away.

He either had a kid with him or was due to meet his but plans were cancelled.

Our local soft play doesn’t let adults in without a child. I quite often meet my childfree friend there for a coffee (yes - she is a saint!) and I have to either meet her outside or come to the entrance when she arrives to let her in.

Come off it. It's not a safeguarding issue unless he is taking photos of other people's kids or playing with one in some distant corner and even then, not necessarily. The parent / carers of the children should be watching their own kids anyhow. I guess he did have a child with him or was expecting one to be there, as who in their right mind would go to such a place if they didn't have to 😂
Yes, I know you will say a paedophile, but he is not going to be able to do anything. Did you see him run off with a child?

😂

Just to clarify a few points:

1. when I spoke to the manager, they agreed that this person was there on their own, and that people sometimes do that
2. I am not posting this just because it was a man, any lone person (man or woman) would have me wondering why they had chosen this place to have a coffee
3. safeguarding concern for me is that what person would choose to go into a soft play centre for a coffee unless they had kids. It could be someone’s way of going somewhere to watch children, and this person was on their phone the whole time they could potentially have been recording or taking photos

thank you to those of you who have offered other explanations as I didn’t think of those (ie: meeting his child who didn’t turn up). I’m just wondering whether the soft play should be allowing lone adults in to drink a coffee if they are not meeting a child there.

Perhaps he owns the place?

Yes it’s very clear that it’s a soft play. Nobody in their right mind would see that building and think it’s just a cafe that happens to have a soft play.

I was going to say perhaps he works there.

We could add the "the employee told the OP that people without children could come in and buy a coffee" as well.

OP- did the man do anything to your child? In your own words, he had a coffee, used the cafés WiFi and left.

Your child's grandfather is statistically about 90% more likely btw. So don't leave Junior alone with him.

Seems like odd behaviour, but not necessarily dangerous. Saying that, I dropped my car for a service next door to the soft play that my daughter used to frequent. Fancied a coffee, but it took less than a second to conclude that I'd have a more pleasant experience almost anywhere else on earth!

You said the person serving said people use the café as a cafe and they're OK with that.

You were in the place with your child. What safeguarding issue could there be?

Yes this was my thought, I think they probably just want to make a bit of extra money so accept people buying coffees but talking to other parents there agreed that it was a bit strange and made us uncomfortable

My dad who is not British once visited me here and told me that he had gone for a walk and sat down in the local playground to look at the children play. I told him you cannot do that in this country. You will get arrested 😅

The one the OP went to does. They told her that people can use the café.

That yours doesn't is irrelevant.

Ours certainly isn’t! I think they just shout ‘coffee’ at the cup! It’s really just hot milk.

Just to clarify the manager did confirm that this was just someone who came in for a coffee, he wasn’t a manager/owner as I asked that question

If you see him in there regularly without a child and he is behaving suspiciously then yes of course it's a concern.

But it sounds like you simply saw a man on his own one time, which is a complete non-event.

He might have just been waiting for someone who couldn't make it.