Lone man in soft play area

[solitudeisbliss]

I was at the local soft play centre with my DD this morning.

While I was there, a man came into the soft play and sat at one of the tables. He didn’t appear to have any children with him when he came in, and after watching him drink his coffee and talk on his phone (through headphones) for 45 minutes, he then got up and left.

I went to speak to the manager after he left and asked if she had noticed that this man didn’t have any children with him.

She just said ‘well sometimes people come in and use this as a cafe which we allow’.

For context, there are many other cafes within a 2 minute walk from the soft play, and it is not inside a shopping centre, it is in its own building next to a retail park. Also, you have to pay to get in, and the area is gated (people on reception have to let you in) so if they wanted to stop people from entering without children they could.

Just wondering if people think this is normal behaviour or if I should raise it with someone (please give me advice on who!) as I feel it’s a potential safeguarding concern.

AIBU - this is completely normal and nothing needs to change

AINBU - there should be a rule stopping lone adults coming in to soft play

Haha, that's brilliant. Children playing is so wholesome and heartwarming, but definitely not allowed without reason here.

Oh I thought you meant that he was hiding in the ball pool pen or something 🤔

How much is the adult entrance fee OP?

this person was on their phone the whole time they could potentially have been recording or taking photos

Well was he? It's obvious if someone is recording. Was he staring at/ recording/ taking photos of children or not?

Yes this man didn’t do anything, hence why I didn’t start screaming or calling the police lol. But as you’ve said in your other posts, what person would want to sit in a soft play and drink a coffee and leave? Which then makes you wonder what other reasons a person could have for going there.

Just to clarify, yes I watch my child the whole time but not everyone does, and I don’t think it would be hard for someone to take pictures of children or even walk out with a small child in this situation.

again, I’m not being dramatic and saying anyone was abused I’m just questioning why he was there and wondering if the rule should be changed to keep everyone safe.

Have him hung drawn and quartered OP. How dare he have a coffee in the vicinity of your child? It’s quite obvious he’s a pedo

Weird my local soft play won't even let children in over 12 if they don't have a sibling younger 🤷‍♀️ so find this hard to believe but then it sounds like it has its own separate cafe which people can use and you said they said people often come in so what's the problem?

So, a man came in, had a coffee, made a phone call and left. Were any children harmed while he was there? It’s already been established that people are allowed to do that…and I’ll bet if it had been a woman, you and the other parents wouldn’t have even noticed!

He didn't even get up from his seat, seemingly, so what is the big deal?

If he was following around and playing with children or hanging around the bathroom I'd get it.

You have probably got the wrong end of the stick OP.

That's not true. You cannot get arrested for watching children play, however many mumsnetters would like that to be true. Many men nowadays would of course feel uncomfortable doing it because now lone adults in children's play areas means paedophile alert. Many years ago, old folks would rest on a bench near play areas (and no they were not all paedophiles).

Jesus it’s a bit scary how many people here aren’t aware of child protection 🤦‍♀️

The phone thing is a red herring.

If you want phones banned, that's a separate subject and one you'll have to raise with management.

Literally any parent, uncle, aunt, grandparent could be up to something dodgy with their phone, even if they had 20 kids with them.

Yeah that’s why I thought it was so strange cause in my mind there’s no reason to let in adults if they don’t have a child with them.

just to clarify, the soft play is not seperate to the cafe, there are some tables and chairs in the middle and then the soft play is surrounding this, so it’s not seperate to the soft play

Is it? I get the impression that most people are pretty clued up.

Same! I thought you meant he was inside the play frame. I did actually report a man alone in the soft play once to staff, who then told me he was also staff making sure the children were ok!

Agree it’s a bit of an odd thing to do. It would have raised my spider senses.

Once again I’m not starting a witch-hunt against this particular man!! I’m just raising a question of whether they should be allowing random people without children to come into the soft play. I’m not saying he was necessarily doing anything wrong, but if they’re letting anyone in, then at some point someone dodgy could come in and there’s nothing to stop them

Thank you! I’m a teacher and this feels like someone coming to sit with their coffee overlooking the school playground, this would be considered strange and we would be ensuring the children were safe even if there was no indication this person was going to do anything

I’m confused, are you saying he paid an entrance fee to access the cafe or is it free to enter?

or he could be looking at the place in order to get ideas about starting a place of their own

we must never forget that we also need to look out for lone women but I guess hardly anyone picks up on that

A dangerous man or wamn will never have a "I'm dangerous" printed on their forehead - so open minds and if in doubt, challenge or go to the people running the place

Maybe he has a child that he is estranged from or died and takes comfort going to places where there are children.

Maybe he arranged to meet a mother and child there, an ex or a new partner and they didn't turn up for whatever reason.

Maybe he has sloped off from work or wants to avoid certain people that frequent the nearby coffee places so he goes to the play centre where he knows they don't go.

Maybe he is a private detective and is following someone. It could even be you.

Maybe he supplies soft play equipment and wanted to see what is there so he could contact them with different stuff that he sells.

Maybe he is one of those secret shoppers and was give the play centre as a venue to rate the coffee and the service.

Maybe he's from the council and was checking it out as there has been a complaint.

I would think a million things before I thought he was a pedo.

Were the children safe? What actually happened?

Just to clarify the soft/play cafe are all the same area so you couldn’t just go to the cafe without being surrounded by the soft play.

but I don’t know what he will have paid as I have never tried to get in alone before!

Now my kids are adults ypu would have to pay me to go for a coffee in one!

Well you must know roughly how much the adult and child entrance fees are?

So it’s a coffee shop with soft play - which ties in with what the employee said. This is a non thing.
What did you pay to enter?

I’d guess he was meeting someone or made an error and regretted his choices but already had a coffee at that point.