To cancel lunch as people not bothered about attending

[DazedAndConfused2024]

Have organised weekend lunch as part of a friendly effort to get to know school parents with whom our children are friendly.
The date was given a few weeks ago, initial acceptances made - but now getting cancellations, elaborate reasons why x can’t come.
I’m beginning to lose the will to live and am wondering if I should just cancel entirely. I can’t be bothered to make an effort when seemingly there’s not much interest.

Maybe a bit late if tomorrow or Sunday, if another weekend then cancel.

How many have said they're coming?

If a few are coming why can't you have a nice time with them and have pay no mind to the ones who can't come? You might make some friends.

Or do you mean people who initially accepted now can't come?

This is so frustrating, especially when you've made the effort for everyone to get together.

How many are still on to come?

If there are still a few people coming I would go ahead.

I had a party for my 40th earlier this year and people were dropping like flies on the day. I said to my husband I wished I'd never organised it, but then ended up having the loveliest time with the 7 or 8 people who did show up.

How many said they were going and how many have you got now? Weekend lunch time is a bit awkward if it’s just parents and no kids.

People are flakey but those who do come may well end up being people you are friends with for years to come.

Depends on how many are coming. You felt it was worth doing so I'd persevere rather than cancel those who have said they can come.

It's always a bit tricky with a group of people you don't know well who have only one definite thing in common, as some may feel obligated but very unenthusiastic for any number of reasons and others will just opt out. Not everyone is looking for new friends or feels comfortable in social situations with people they hardly know.

I don’t like larger gatherings tbh and these days I refuse to attend and say I can’t make it. When I was younger I’d say yes under the pressure in the hope I’d feel able to go then I’d often cancel because I didn’t feel comfortable.

As I say I don’t do anything to please people now, so I’ll just reject so not to come accross as flakey.

This is really common OP, especially when it’s a group of people all fairly new to each other- people initially think it sounds a great idea and say yes, but then later get cold feet, and they think ‘oh well it wont matter if I don’t go’, not realising that lots will do the same. It’s shit when you’re the organiser, but like PP have said even if just a few people go, it’s often a lovely way to get to know them better, and when I’ve organised things like this (which I find hard because I’m naturally very introverted), I tell myself this weeds out the flaky ones and I concentrate on the ones who do come. Please don’t cancel as what people hear is ‘oh the fun ones I wanted to come aren’t now, so we won’t bother now it’s just you guys’- even if that’s not your intention.

Are you hosting it? Do you still have to buy everything?

This is my thinking too.

At least you know who the flakey ones are now and you might get on really well with the ones who do come, if it's a kids in school situation and they're young I think it's worth getting to know people as they will likely be in your life for a long time,

I hope it goes ahead and you all have a fab time.

Tbh that kind of thing would make my toes curl at a weekend. Thats family time.

This is my experience too thst in a large group without strong existing bonds then everyone thinks that their dropping out makes no difference when of course it does as everyone does the same.

The people that do turn up are always the best kinds!

Are kids invited too op or is it just Moms? How many seem to be still coming? Personally I'd keep it going for those who want to go. You can have a lovely lunch with a few people, make a better connection with someone who seems to want to do the same etc

If you say yes to an event yes you should come unless there is an emergency I agree it could be rude, but I find people have busy lives and may say yes in the moment because they cant see a way to say no but to them it is not a serious thing to you it is

And yes again rude by some people find it too much pressure to say no and have not though every single scenario through and how the host may feel or not

This is only an event I would have hosted in the first place with people I know the way work so if I said 'please be here at 2pm' I would only have invited the people I knew would show up

Weekends are also times for weddings and other special events.
Most people do go out at the weekend because it's not a work day, usually.
I think events I get invited to are usually Friday evening or the weekend proper.

I wouldn't cancel, OP. You're doing a nice thing, and the people attending will become friends, probably.
How many did you invite and how many are coming?.

And with the sporting events and 'we must invite every child in the class parties' I am surprised anyone has any other time for anything else

This 💯

People are just crap these days OP. Is there a way to scale the lunch down and make it a more intimate gathering?

Weekend school plans are an absolute no from me. I’m just too busy. I hate it when there is a party on as I don’t want to spend two - three hours of only day off with people I see every day at school. I don’t even get time to see my real mates.

When the class rep puts out a parents night out she adds a link where you can choose the days and the week dates are always picked over the weekend dates. No one wants to socialise with school mums on a weekend.

Pick a week slot - straight after school and you will get a better response.

You will have to follow through with the plans you have made for weekend though - those parents would have already told their kids

Also a sit down lunch is a bit 😩 for some parents with fussy kids.

A trip to the local park straight after school will yield far better turn out

Sit down meals are for parents only

Is it a sit down lunch for parents and children?