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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Woman keeps shouting at us to stop playing football

221 replies

WinkyTinky · 28/04/2024 17:46

I've just come in from about 10 minutes kick about with my DS12. He likes me to play football with him, either in the garden or out on the path that runs past our house, and if course I love to do this with him. There is a tarmac square play area adjacent to the path which is just the right size for kicking the ball about. Kids from the street have played there over the years, but most of them have grown up now so it's only me and my son who play there, maximum of half an hour on a Sunday. Our garden is soaking wet so the path is the best place to get out at the moment.

Anyway, an older lady lives down on the next street and her house looks into this path. Every time we play there she comes to her upstairs window and shouts "Hoi! Clear off!" within minutes of us starting to play. We are as quiet as possible, and quite honestly she could have to deal with a lot worse than this. Normally, if anyone complained, I would stop immediately and go somewhere else, but having spoken to other neighbours, she has done this to their kids going back 30 years. Their advice to me (who don't mind at all us playing) is to ignore her and carry on.

I would do this, although reluctantly as I am very much a people pleaser and hate the thought of upsetting or inconveniencing anyone, but my son is so upset about it he just says let's go in. It takes me some time to persuade him to go out at all now, he's so wary of her, and I'm really annoyed that she's spoiling our very small bit of fun and fresh air.

Are we in the wrong by playing here? Or is she out of order to shout at us every time? Just to point out, there are no "no ball game" signs around, and I have even checked with a local councillor that we are ok to play there. How do I deal with her? I obviously don't want to have a go at an old lady, but surely she can allow kids to play quietly for a short time?

OP posts:
smithsinarazz · 28/04/2024 17:49

Tell her you're going to report her for harassment. Totally out of order.

BakedTattie · 28/04/2024 17:50

Just shout back ‘no’

PocketSand · 28/04/2024 17:55

You say 'play area'. If it is she has no right but if it is not a designated play area adopted by the council then she is not. Who owns this land?

saraclara · 28/04/2024 18:14

If it's tarmac, the thunk thunk thunk of both the kicking and the bouncing going on for half an hour will be beyond irritating. The lad in the garden behind me was using his basketball hoop for ten minutes earlier today. The thunk of the ball against the ground and the wall drove me indoors where I could still hear it. And that was just ten minutes.

Obviously neither I nor this woman is in a position to ask it to stop. But if you're going to kick a ball around for half an hour, is there nowhere better (and grassy) where you can do it?

Stripeysocks1981 · 28/04/2024 18:23

Cheeky cow. Who does she think she is??
I would laugh and carry on. Get a referee whistle 😂

PuttingDownRoots · 28/04/2024 18:29

Are you anywhere near her house?

Dacadactyl · 28/04/2024 18:32

I'd just knock on and ask what the issue is and say you intend to go out once a week for 30 mins from here on in.

Hopefully she'll agree that's not unreasonable and that'll be the end of it. If she argues the toss then it's up to you to decide whether to carry on doing it regardless or not.

I'd speak to her before deciding either way tho

SophieJo · 28/04/2024 18:33

saraclara · 28/04/2024 18:14

If it's tarmac, the thunk thunk thunk of both the kicking and the bouncing going on for half an hour will be beyond irritating. The lad in the garden behind me was using his basketball hoop for ten minutes earlier today. The thunk of the ball against the ground and the wall drove me indoors where I could still hear it. And that was just ten minutes.

Obviously neither I nor this woman is in a position to ask it to stop. But if you're going to kick a ball around for half an hour, is there nowhere better (and grassy) where you can do it?

This.

waterrat · 28/04/2024 18:34

Look - kids need to play - children have lost vast amounts of the space they grew up playing in over the past 20 or so years - mostly to parked cars and traffic which have increased hugely.

We have to fight to the death any more attempts to squash their free play!!

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 28/04/2024 18:36

waterrat · 28/04/2024 18:34

Look - kids need to play - children have lost vast amounts of the space they grew up playing in over the past 20 or so years - mostly to parked cars and traffic which have increased hugely.

We have to fight to the death any more attempts to squash their free play!!

That's what gardens and parks are for.

maudelovesharold · 28/04/2024 18:36

The oldies are getting a pasting on MN today! I knew by the thread title, before I opened it, that the protagonist was bound to be ‘older’ ‘old’ or ‘elderly’!

Balloonhearts · 28/04/2024 18:38

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 28/04/2024 18:36

That's what gardens and parks are for.

And play areas!

Onabench · 28/04/2024 18:38

Just carry on OP. We all find other people annoying but that is just life when you have neighbours 🤷 half an hour isn't long

G123456789 · 28/04/2024 18:38

Reminds me of being a lad and playing football in the local park. We were about 17 and there was about 7 of us taking on the little kids (7 to 13 years old...mates younger brother and his mates)
It's an unusual shaped park, with 2 hills and a few oddly placed trees, so we played in a central strip on the grass. It was well away from the nearby houses, one old bloke started shouting and balling that we shouldn't be marking so much noise and it was late at night (7.30pm at the latest)
He came out and was shocked when we were stood there and even more shocked when my mates uncle who was 40 approached him and pointed out that he was playing football with his son and nephew and a few mates and that if the bloke didn't want any noise, why did he buy a house near a park full of play equipment? The guy just continued to moan and uncle just told him to go away.

Some people are just miserable buggers who hate other people having fun

AllThePotatoesAreSinging · 28/04/2024 18:41

Is it an official designated ‘play area’? If yes, great, crack on.

If not then go to a park.

I can see both sides.

There’s a big ‘no ball games’ sign on a local house, so of course the local kids bounce their balls off that wall. It’s a council house and council sign and the people who live in the house find it very stressful with balls bouncing off their home for hours. Really antisocial and shitty of the parents for not stopping their kids doing this. There’s a park less than 300m away with 5 a side pitches.

IncognitoUsername · 28/04/2024 18:43

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 28/04/2024 18:36

That's what gardens and parks are for.

Not sure whereabouts in the country you are but our garden and the grass area outside the houses are both completely waterlogged at the moment.

IncognitoUsername · 28/04/2024 18:45

maudelovesharold · 28/04/2024 18:36

The oldies are getting a pasting on MN today! I knew by the thread title, before I opened it, that the protagonist was bound to be ‘older’ ‘old’ or ‘elderly’!

Meaning she probably about 55! 😀

BoobyDazzler · 28/04/2024 18:47

I’d have cheerfully ignored the hateful woman.

Children need to play.

takemeawayagain · 28/04/2024 18:48

She sounds like a right miserable cow and you're not going to change her mind if she's been complaining for 30 years. If it's upsetting your son to play there though I don't know what the answer is.

DrJoanAllenby · 28/04/2024 18:49

He's 12 and playing football with his mum! Why isn't he going out to meet his friends over the park for a game of football?

Onabench · 28/04/2024 18:52

DrJoanAllenby · 28/04/2024 18:49

He's 12 and playing football with his mum! Why isn't he going out to meet his friends over the park for a game of football?

Bit of a knobbish reply. What's to say he doesn't. He can still play with his mum!
I play with my DS once a week. Friends aren't endlessly available. It is good exercise for the both of us and I love the quality time, as does he.

What a sad little reply

zaxxon · 28/04/2024 18:52

Balloonhearts · 28/04/2024 18:38

And play areas!

So if it hasn't got a big sign saying "Officially Designated Play Area" ... you can't play in it?

Freefree · 28/04/2024 18:53

DrJoanAllenby · 28/04/2024 18:49

He's 12 and playing football with his mum! Why isn't he going out to meet his friends over the park for a game of football?

Rude!
Cant a 12 year old play with his mum? My 12 year old often plays cricket ir tennis with me and other times goes and plays with his friends or siblings, so bloody what.
Sounds like op has a lovely relationship with her child

Megifer · 28/04/2024 18:53

Just ignore her you're doing absolutely nothing wrong.

HeyDiddleDumplings · 28/04/2024 18:57

Kids need to be outside, the previous poster who said kids have lost playing space is absolutely right. Imagine it’s hard for a 12 to play in garden without ball going in neighbours garden and annoying people.

This may annoy this lady, but it’s only 30 minutes. We all have to be patient and respect each other. Honestly, we should be a society that wants our kids out playing not moaning about the noises of their balls. 🙄

if it was me, I’d write her a note saying you live close by and take care of cars/ gardens nearby and mean no harm. But it’s important to have some fun kicking a ball about with your son. If she what’s to discuss she can contact you via xyz.

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