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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Woman keeps shouting at us to stop playing football

221 replies

WinkyTinky · 28/04/2024 17:46

I've just come in from about 10 minutes kick about with my DS12. He likes me to play football with him, either in the garden or out on the path that runs past our house, and if course I love to do this with him. There is a tarmac square play area adjacent to the path which is just the right size for kicking the ball about. Kids from the street have played there over the years, but most of them have grown up now so it's only me and my son who play there, maximum of half an hour on a Sunday. Our garden is soaking wet so the path is the best place to get out at the moment.

Anyway, an older lady lives down on the next street and her house looks into this path. Every time we play there she comes to her upstairs window and shouts "Hoi! Clear off!" within minutes of us starting to play. We are as quiet as possible, and quite honestly she could have to deal with a lot worse than this. Normally, if anyone complained, I would stop immediately and go somewhere else, but having spoken to other neighbours, she has done this to their kids going back 30 years. Their advice to me (who don't mind at all us playing) is to ignore her and carry on.

I would do this, although reluctantly as I am very much a people pleaser and hate the thought of upsetting or inconveniencing anyone, but my son is so upset about it he just says let's go in. It takes me some time to persuade him to go out at all now, he's so wary of her, and I'm really annoyed that she's spoiling our very small bit of fun and fresh air.

Are we in the wrong by playing here? Or is she out of order to shout at us every time? Just to point out, there are no "no ball game" signs around, and I have even checked with a local councillor that we are ok to play there. How do I deal with her? I obviously don't want to have a go at an old lady, but surely she can allow kids to play quietly for a short time?

OP posts:
ThursdayTomorrow · 28/04/2024 19:38

She won’t know how long you plan to be there and probably fears loads of others doing it too. Maybe there already are loads of others. The sound of balls being kicked is really annoying so I understand her point of view.
A football pitch at a park would be a much better place.

Ssssssssh · 28/04/2024 19:39

Even if you are making an almighty clatter it's half an hour on a Sunday. She can mind her own. I'd give her a smile, a friendly wave and a 'good afternoon'.

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:40

BlackCat007 · 28/04/2024 19:33

Your reply is full of useless clichès. Move house? Don’t live there? What, cos some kid can’t respect the neighbours? Talk about kids are in charge these days

The DC is doing nothing wrong playing in the playground! The neighbour has no right to decide what happens in a public play area! Do you randomly walk around telling DC in parks and playgrounds to stop playing because actually you've decided you don't want to hear playing right now?! This neighbour is failing to respect a designated play area. Your replies get stranger and stranger....

I don't like the sound of kids playing...I know I'll move next to a playground!! 🙄

caramac04 · 28/04/2024 19:40

Well I’m older and I think it’s great that you are spending time outside in a shared activity with your ds.
You’re nicer than me as I would have spoken to her, reasonably, without ds but if she continued to be difficult I’d just tell her ‘No!’

StarlightLime · 28/04/2024 19:40

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:40

The DC is doing nothing wrong playing in the playground! The neighbour has no right to decide what happens in a public play area! Do you randomly walk around telling DC in parks and playgrounds to stop playing because actually you've decided you don't want to hear playing right now?! This neighbour is failing to respect a designated play area. Your replies get stranger and stranger....

I don't like the sound of kids playing...I know I'll move next to a playground!! 🙄

Is it a playground, though? It doesn't sound like one.

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:41

StarlightLime · 28/04/2024 19:34

So apart from the garden which isn't massive, the path is the only place to play
Right, so it's a public path, not a "play area" 🙄
Go to the park.

She has explained it is a tarmac playground off the path.

StarlightLime · 28/04/2024 19:43

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:41

She has explained it is a tarmac playground off the path.

No, she hasn't. She said she uses it as a playground, not that it's actually designed as one.

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:43

BlackCat007 · 28/04/2024 19:36

She’s an adult. Why does what the kid wants trump her?

It's what the council want - hence them creating a play area. This woman's wants do not trump what the council decide.

bluetopazlove · 28/04/2024 19:43

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:34

Because the mum and son have half an hour to play. Considering the park will take around an hour to walk to it's not really suitable is it?

Well mother and child need to be better at organizing their lives because they are failing .

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 28/04/2024 19:44

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:40

The DC is doing nothing wrong playing in the playground! The neighbour has no right to decide what happens in a public play area! Do you randomly walk around telling DC in parks and playgrounds to stop playing because actually you've decided you don't want to hear playing right now?! This neighbour is failing to respect a designated play area. Your replies get stranger and stranger....

I don't like the sound of kids playing...I know I'll move next to a playground!! 🙄

The OP didn’t say it was a playground but a path.A path is for walking on.

StarlightLime · 28/04/2024 19:44

A random patch of tarmac sounds like it was originally intended for parking, not as a kid's play area.

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:45

bluetopazlove · 28/04/2024 19:36

Is it not?

Well...if you had half an hour to play football, would you set off for a park that a quarter of your way there you'd have to turn around and come home?? 😂 Perhaps you would do that but it would be very odd!

Snugglemonkey · 28/04/2024 19:46

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 28/04/2024 18:36

That's what gardens and parks are for.

👏

StarlightLime · 28/04/2024 19:46

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:43

It's what the council want - hence them creating a play area. This woman's wants do not trump what the council decide.

No council created a kid's play area that consists of nothing more than an unfenced patch of tarmac next to a public path. Give over, fgs!

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 28/04/2024 19:47

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:34

Because the mum and son have half an hour to play. Considering the park will take around an hour to walk to it's not really suitable is it?

Neither is playing football on a path annoying others really suitable.

BlackCat007 · 28/04/2024 19:47

What the council “wants”? The council want people disturbed by kids kicking balls? I don’t think they do…

VulvaArmy · 28/04/2024 19:48

AllThePotatoesAreSinging · 28/04/2024 18:41

Is it an official designated ‘play area’? If yes, great, crack on.

If not then go to a park.

I can see both sides.

There’s a big ‘no ball games’ sign on a local house, so of course the local kids bounce their balls off that wall. It’s a council house and council sign and the people who live in the house find it very stressful with balls bouncing off their home for hours. Really antisocial and shitty of the parents for not stopping their kids doing this. There’s a park less than 300m away with 5 a side pitches.

Edited

There are no signs saying no ball games, and the council says it’s fine for them to play football there.

bluetopazlove · 28/04/2024 19:48

StarlightLime · 28/04/2024 19:44

A random patch of tarmac sounds like it was originally intended for parking, not as a kid's play area.

Yes , not a playground . But there you go I choose my house with my kids lifestyle in mind . I do understand you can't if a renter .

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 28/04/2024 19:49

Well mother and child need to be better at organizing their lives because they are failing .

There's some batshit replies on this thread.

😳🤣

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:49

StarlightLime · 28/04/2024 19:40

Is it a playground, though? It doesn't sound like one.

Well, I can only go on what OP has said that it is a play area and she even checked with the council that it is a designated play area. Right near where my brother lives there is a really similar sounding play area.

BlackCat007 · 28/04/2024 19:49

VulvaArmy · 28/04/2024 19:48

There are no signs saying no ball games, and the council says it’s fine for them to play football there.

The council aren’t living there putting up with it are they

SplitFountainPen · 28/04/2024 19:51

maudelovesharold · 28/04/2024 18:36

The oldies are getting a pasting on MN today! I knew by the thread title, before I opened it, that the protagonist was bound to be ‘older’ ‘old’ or ‘elderly’!

It does make a difference, people are likely to be more patient with a complaining 80 year old than a complaining 30 year old.

1sttimemum0 · 28/04/2024 19:53

waterrat · 28/04/2024 19:08

@Whatevershallidowithmylife = as i mentioned - the arrival of cars and traffic onto residential roads and neighbourhoods has seen children effectively stop playiing outside their homes in most parts of the UK. I don't agree that this is how it should be - or that this was a wise way to allocate public space - and the harm done to children by losing all of this doorstep space is immeasurable .

Far easier and quicker to enjoy a 10 minute kick about before dinner on your own doorstep than have to be taken to the park/ go to the park - parks are important - but where it's possible we need to support children's play close to their own homes.

Who gave cars the right to the space? It wasn't a decision we ever got to debate as a society was it?

This 🙌

WoshPank · 28/04/2024 19:53

I wouldn't even bother responding to her. Just ignore. You have the right to be there, and if she doesn't like it that's tough shit.

indigovapour · 28/04/2024 19:55

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 28/04/2024 19:33

Just ignore her.

This. You don't need to go and talk to her and explain yourself. You're doing nothing wrong.

The point at which our kids no longer want to play with us comes all too quickly - focus on your time with your son and ignore her. What's she going to do apart from wind herself up?