Woman keeps shouting at us to stop playing football

[WinkyTinky]

I've just come in from about 10 minutes kick about with my DS12. He likes me to play football with him, either in the garden or out on the path that runs past our house, and if course I love to do this with him. There is a tarmac square play area adjacent to the path which is just the right size for kicking the ball about. Kids from the street have played there over the years, but most of them have grown up now so it's only me and my son who play there, maximum of half an hour on a Sunday. Our garden is soaking wet so the path is the best place to get out at the moment.

Anyway, an older lady lives down on the next street and her house looks into this path. Every time we play there she comes to her upstairs window and shouts "Hoi! Clear off!" within minutes of us starting to play. We are as quiet as possible, and quite honestly she could have to deal with a lot worse than this. Normally, if anyone complained, I would stop immediately and go somewhere else, but having spoken to other neighbours, she has done this to their kids going back 30 years. Their advice to me (who don't mind at all us playing) is to ignore her and carry on.

I would do this, although reluctantly as I am very much a people pleaser and hate the thought of upsetting or inconveniencing anyone, but my son is so upset about it he just says let's go in. It takes me some time to persuade him to go out at all now, he's so wary of her, and I'm really annoyed that she's spoiling our very small bit of fun and fresh air.

Are we in the wrong by playing here? Or is she out of order to shout at us every time? Just to point out, there are no "no ball game" signs around, and I have even checked with a local councillor that we are ok to play there. How do I deal with her? I obviously don't want to have a go at an old lady, but surely she can allow kids to play quietly for a short time?

Go up the park then!!! You can’t kick a ball on a lump of tarmac in a built up area! It’s thoughtless and irritating

No park near us 😬

Mind you my kids kick the ball against our wall and fence in their own garden so thats ok.

He is not whacking a football off the house or fence! He is playing in a play area. That's what it's there for! Do you really not understand that a play area is for playing in? What do you think it's for? 🤨

84% are fine with kids playing in play areas, created for them to play in. So maybe you should start believing that most people don't mind because that is part of being in a community and being neighbourly, which is normal for most people.

And noone here really knows what anyone else is doing! But we can only comment on what is in the OP.

84% of who? Other parents who couldn’t give a shit? Where have you plucked this arbitrary figure from? 🤣🤣🤣

100% this.

Far too many selfish people assume that that they should get their way every minute of every day; otherwise people are being disrespectful and inconsiderate - but it never works the other way around.

84% is "plucked" from the poll at the top of the page where 84% have voted that they agree with OP and that she is not being unreasonable.

😂😂😂

From the poll I would guess

@Onabench for the meighbour, I guess it's not just 30 mins. It's lots of different people, each playing for 30 mins. So, I can see why it's irritating. And thud on tarmac v different from grass

But, I don't see that she can insist people stop, if it's public land

Is that a serious quedtion??

The MN poll was showing it. 84% of those of us who voted, clearly. Where else would it have come from? It changes a little as time goes on and different people add their votes. It is currently showing 85%, or are you going to accuse me of plucking that out of thin air too?

@NeedToChangeName It's not lots of kids, it's just us. A quiet 12 year old boy wouldn't say boo to a goose, and a 47 year old mild mannered woman. She could have it a lot worse!

OP already said that the other kids have mostly grown up, so hardly any youngsters left there now.

But even if there were, each person surely has as much of a right as anybody else to their 'turn' at what they want to do for a short amount of time. If this woman gets 30 minutes of her choice each day, that's perfectly fair, isn't it?

If it actually is a play area then she's being unreasonable, but if it's not then you are.

There's something similar near me at the rear of my garden, and the kids have used that, the street and the wide pavement opposite to play football on since I moved here. Many people think it's a play area, but actually it's a neighbours driveway and access to their garden from outside technically, they have just never used it because they don't have a car and it's not marked in any way, their fence is further back.

They have given me permission to park there but
I don't because I've seen other cars there at times and they have balls kicked at them and have been deliberately damaged - because people have decided it's a play area when actually it's a private driveway/access and so think people shouldn't be parked there. There's also regular arguments between the neighbours and the kids/parents about the kids using it and the ball bouncing repeatedly against fences, and they all say "Well it's a play area" it's not, it's just been utilised as such to the point people think it is.

However, if the local councillor has actually checked and it's a designated play area then you're allowed to play, it's what it's for. But if it's just an area that's been 'adopted' for the purpose of playing football then I don't think she's being unreasonable to not want to listen to a football being kicked about - it's annoying and intrusive and invariably the ball gets walloped over the fence at some point.

That said it's almost constant where I am, once a week for half an hour wouldn't bother me.

And this post has reminded me of why I haven't got any neighbours near by! I don't see anything wrong with mother and son bonding. Playing footie for half an hour together once a week sounds amazing! Most 12 year olds don't even come out of their rooms! Keep playing and enjoy the time together you will never get back

Thank you @Itsneverme yes! I do love playing out with my kid, and why shouldn't I! He makes me laugh and we have mad conversations while we kick the ball about. And me being a Tom boy of old, I really enjoy trying to beat my keepy-ups record, or impressing the dog walkers passing by with my skills. Don't take this away from me, shouty woman!!!

Where have I plucked this figure from? 😂 I'm starting to think you are just on the wind up. This is AIBU. At the top is a poll. The figures are from there, of course!! 🙄

Parent lets DC play in play area = shit parent 😂

I think you'll find most people would consider a parent much shitter for refusing to allow their DC to play at the play area near their house.

The OP has specifically said that there aren't that many younger kids in the street atm so not many people are using it.

So she has even less to complain about.

OP has answered that it is a legitimate designated play area.

@WinkyTinky think the lady may get more than she bargained for if the 'plucked out of nowhere' 84% of us come and join in! I love playing with my boy too - he's 17 and we play badminton 😊

Honestly it's no wonder birth rates are collapsing. Is there a word for child hatred? Like misogyny but hatred of children? There are people in the world called children, they behave differently to adults, and are generally noisy. They have every bit as much right to be in the world as adults and behave like children. This kid hasn't done anything wrong. He's not kicking his ball at the woman's house. I know our local housing officer, she gets loads of complaints about children playing in the street, just playing, that's all. She has said there is no way she's going to go round town telling children they can't play outside. Good!

I think you're the one who needs to learn some respect.

Hear hear! The old Victorian ideal of children being seen but not heard is alive and well with some it seems.