Woman keeps shouting at us to stop playing football

[WinkyTinky]

I've just come in from about 10 minutes kick about with my DS12. He likes me to play football with him, either in the garden or out on the path that runs past our house, and if course I love to do this with him. There is a tarmac square play area adjacent to the path which is just the right size for kicking the ball about. Kids from the street have played there over the years, but most of them have grown up now so it's only me and my son who play there, maximum of half an hour on a Sunday. Our garden is soaking wet so the path is the best place to get out at the moment.

Anyway, an older lady lives down on the next street and her house looks into this path. Every time we play there she comes to her upstairs window and shouts "Hoi! Clear off!" within minutes of us starting to play. We are as quiet as possible, and quite honestly she could have to deal with a lot worse than this. Normally, if anyone complained, I would stop immediately and go somewhere else, but having spoken to other neighbours, she has done this to their kids going back 30 years. Their advice to me (who don't mind at all us playing) is to ignore her and carry on.

I would do this, although reluctantly as I am very much a people pleaser and hate the thought of upsetting or inconveniencing anyone, but my son is so upset about it he just says let's go in. It takes me some time to persuade him to go out at all now, he's so wary of her, and I'm really annoyed that she's spoiling our very small bit of fun and fresh air.

Are we in the wrong by playing here? Or is she out of order to shout at us every time? Just to point out, there are no "no ball game" signs around, and I have even checked with a local councillor that we are ok to play there. How do I deal with her? I obviously don't want to have a go at an old lady, but surely she can allow kids to play quietly for a short time?

If 30 mins playing ball is making her life a misery, she needs to get out more.

Ignore

Some of these replies are crazy.

My elderly father reignited a forty year row the other day with a neighbour, this reminds me of that.

We grew up there, learnt to cycle there. They fell out because we were cycling on a road and might be killed. There is a long visible access road to the small t shaped housing estate.

So any vehicle entering gets a good 30 second vision of a child and the adult with them the same.

Plus it's a dead end, village, no traffic.

My kids playing, dad teaching them to ride bike. Neighbour was out screaming they would be killed. Reported to council. Made dad even more cross. He won't let it drop.

Council don't care. Nobody does. Mum went to see her, she has a fear of children smashing heads onto a road. They wear a helmet. Eventually she was pacified. Dad still furious. She came out today and started again. Then accepted a bit of cake from the little one and then went back in.

Anyway if it's during civil hours go for it.

She's been shouting at people for 30 years so unlikely to stop for you.

I'm glad I live in a friendly neighbourhood with children playing out all over it. Yeah sometimes they're noisy, so what. They're children, they need to play and they need to spend time being active outdoors.

She's got no right to make out you're being a nuisance in your own neighbourhood when all you're doing is making a bit of noise during the day for half a bloody hour.

Live out in the countryside if you can't abide neighbours.

People are so miserable, this spring has just been awful so far. A child and mum wants to play for half an hour outside and people are irritated over that. Yanbu op, ignore her.

When we moved into our house there was a wind chime that I could hear all night the first night we were there. It was so annoying. In the morning I thought I’d have a look to see if I could see which garden it was in - it was in ours, hanging off the back of the shed. I had to take a chair into the garden to take it down and was seen by the guy next door - who just said ‘thank you!’ It was a nice introduction!

I think it's pretty clear that she is refering to the play area when she says that. She isn't saying 'there's this great play area perfect for kicking a ball around but we don't use that, we just use the path!'

In 2024, if the sounds of ordinary life around you are a problem, you can either buy a large plot of land, far from neighbours and with good fences. Several acres, far enough that a neighbour's rowdy party is just a gentle murmur. And the plot is not over a flight path, or near a Trainline, busy road, wind turbine. And there are no plans for fracking, a new Trainline, housing development.

Or you can spend £10 in Poundland for Bluetooth earbuds and play white noise, any you'll hear nothing you don't want to.

So I’m a dickhead?

Aaand another one!
Not sure if there are rules against cross-quoting from other threads, but this reinforces the comment I made on this one!

The bus was quite full, mostly with older people who were sitting near the front. My DD sat down quickly next to an elderly woman as the bus was moving off and she was already getting jolted about. As she sat down I was saying "be careful with your backpack" but as the words were leaving my mouth the bag very lightly bumped the lady on the arm, literally just stroked it. She snatched her arm away, tutted loudly and gave my DD the filthiest look, like she was shit on her shoe.

So funny! When I moved into my first house a relative gave us a wind chime as a moving in present. I thought it was great and happily put it in my garden. That evening the ndn came round to let us know it was disturbing her - I apologized profusely and took it down! 😳

@saraclara
If it's tarmac, the thunk thunk thunk of both the kicking and the bouncing going on for half an hour will be beyond irritating. The lad in the garden behind me was using his basketball hoop for ten minutes earlier today. The thunk of the ball against the ground and the wall drove me indoors where I could still hear it. And that was just ten minutes.

Obviously neither I nor this woman is in a position to ask it to stop. But if you're going to kick a ball around for half an hour, is there nowhere better (and grassy) where you can do it?

Half an hour is 'beyond irritating'
and
The lad in the garden behind me was using his basketball hoop for ten minutes earlier today. The thunk of the ball against the ground and the wall drove me indoors where I could still hear it. And that was just ten minutes.

tbh, I think this may be a 'you' problem - this is the sound of normal family life

I don't know...are you? You sound pretty intolerant to me.

Problem with football is it’s not easy to control where the ball goes. Are you missing anything out, ie does the ball go into peoples gardens/drives?

Wow, such a big response! I'm sorry that I'm tagging everyone I'm responding to, but to answer a few points -

When my town was built (it's a 70s new town), each 'village' had a few play areas designed into it to allow kids to play near their house. So the area outside of my house, which we happen to call The Path is one of those. There's another one round the corner, kind of a quarter circle tarmac area, which can have no other purpose than to be a play area. I have emailed the councillor again to ask if it's officially a play area, or if it's just spare ground in which it's ok to play.

The lady, who appears to be in her 80s, nearly always has her windows wide open, which must be how she hears us. When her windows are shut she doesn't shout!

There's a young kid along from me who will play out for a while in the garden in the summer from about 7am which is slightly a pain, but it's not the end of the world. I'm not going to tell her to stop. Sometimes me and the kids will sit out in the garden and chat on an evening , but I make sure we're pretty much whispering so we don't disturb anyone. Similarly we will not play out on The Path after 8pm (in mid summer when it's light til late) in case there are young kids going to bed. Ironically we probably make more noise in the garden than we do on the path, and we're that same distance from this woman. I had the lawnmower on yesterday, she must have been raging.

I couldn't work out if they were on the path, it seemed odd to say there is this great area to play football and we play on the path.

Yes I think The Path and the path have confused things. If The Path is a play area obviously it is fine to play there although thinking about it there is a play area near my house that has a No Ball Games sign. I'm confusing myself now.

@WinkyTinky

Personally, I can't see anything wromg with what you're doing.
You're not making a noise at anti-social hours. You're not even making a noise for a prolonged period of time.

You're not being unreasonable, but I think your neighbour may be

Op enjoy your footy with your lad. Ignore the strange shouty woman.

I really don't know why you don't make a afternoon of it and cycle. walk or drive to the nearest sports park and take some drinks and snacks and make an afternoon of it . Much more fun for the kids than being stuck playing sports on a patch of street .

This. Yes they're children and they should be able to play outside even if there is a bit of noise. I'm glad I live in a place like that- and I'm old!

Most modern estates are not suitable for kids to play on due to close proximity of parked cars, houses etc. That's why parks are provided. Use the park and not estate roads and paths.

Ah, I've remembered I was going to reply to you @bluetopazlove We do go to the local tennis courts for a hour session, go on ling bike rides, drive to the Lakes to climb mountains, all those things. But to be able to just nip outside with my son while I've got the tea in the oven, run in to check on it abs run out again, I think I should be able to do that.

Sorry for all the typos, I'm trying to iron!

I'd ring the doorbell and attempt to have a conversation about it. Pretend to be very friendly and innocently ask her why she objects. Perhaps bring a town planning map that shows it's a playground/recreational area.
Bring your son so hopefully he'll feel she's not that intimidating from close up - and maybe dad/an adult man, so she'll feel less keen to have a go at you. (in my experience, unfortunately some weird people are only put off by the presence of a man)

If he is getting all those activities would he not better reading comics while you are cooking ?