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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Woman keeps shouting at us to stop playing football

221 replies

WinkyTinky · 28/04/2024 17:46

I've just come in from about 10 minutes kick about with my DS12. He likes me to play football with him, either in the garden or out on the path that runs past our house, and if course I love to do this with him. There is a tarmac square play area adjacent to the path which is just the right size for kicking the ball about. Kids from the street have played there over the years, but most of them have grown up now so it's only me and my son who play there, maximum of half an hour on a Sunday. Our garden is soaking wet so the path is the best place to get out at the moment.

Anyway, an older lady lives down on the next street and her house looks into this path. Every time we play there she comes to her upstairs window and shouts "Hoi! Clear off!" within minutes of us starting to play. We are as quiet as possible, and quite honestly she could have to deal with a lot worse than this. Normally, if anyone complained, I would stop immediately and go somewhere else, but having spoken to other neighbours, she has done this to their kids going back 30 years. Their advice to me (who don't mind at all us playing) is to ignore her and carry on.

I would do this, although reluctantly as I am very much a people pleaser and hate the thought of upsetting or inconveniencing anyone, but my son is so upset about it he just says let's go in. It takes me some time to persuade him to go out at all now, he's so wary of her, and I'm really annoyed that she's spoiling our very small bit of fun and fresh air.

Are we in the wrong by playing here? Or is she out of order to shout at us every time? Just to point out, there are no "no ball game" signs around, and I have even checked with a local councillor that we are ok to play there. How do I deal with her? I obviously don't want to have a go at an old lady, but surely she can allow kids to play quietly for a short time?

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 28/04/2024 19:56

OP, why not use a softer ball - hard balls make a lot of noise, soft ones far less.

Soontobe60 · 28/04/2024 19:56

Oh, and YABU in not posting a diagram!!!

DaniMontyRae · 28/04/2024 19:57

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:49

Well, I can only go on what OP has said that it is a play area and she even checked with the council that it is a designated play area. Right near where my brother lives there is a really similar sounding play area.

The OP didn't state that the council have said it's a "designated play area" just that she's OK to play there. Which basically just means it's not illegal.

EmilyTjP · 28/04/2024 19:58

We had a child playing with our ball outside
our home the other day and I commented how lovely it was to see a kid playing outside!
I’d love a game of Kerby. Did anyone else used to play that?

ASighMadeOfStone · 28/04/2024 19:59

maudelovesharold · 28/04/2024 18:36

The oldies are getting a pasting on MN today! I knew by the thread title, before I opened it, that the protagonist was bound to be ‘older’ ‘old’ or ‘elderly’!

That's the only reason I opened it.
Funny isn't it how when it isn't an older person the ageist posters never think to mention the age.

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:59

StarlightLime · 28/04/2024 19:43

No, she hasn't. She said she uses it as a playground, not that it's actually designed as one.

She said she had it confirmed by the local councillor that it was a play area.

I can only answer in good faith on the information given by the OP. She has multiple times referred to it as a play area.

VulvaArmy · 28/04/2024 19:59

BlackCat007 · 28/04/2024 19:49

The council aren’t living there putting up with it are they

That’s irrelevant. If they are allowed to play there and they are following all the rules in place for that space then they aren’t doing anything wrong.

I don’t like the bloke across the roads motorbike, or the racket from the kids at the school trailing up and down.

There are plenty of people who don’t want others cars parked in their street, dogs on their beach, bbqs in next doors garden or cyclists on the road but they have to put up with it- we can’t have the whole world ordered to our liking.

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 20:00

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 28/04/2024 19:44

The OP didn’t say it was a playground but a path.A path is for walking on.

She said it was a play area confirmed by a local councillor. A play area is for playing in.

ASighMadeOfStone · 28/04/2024 20:02

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 20:00

She said it was a play area confirmed by a local councillor. A play area is for playing in.

She said there is a play area, with a path running alongside it.
And that they play football on the path, not in the play area. (her second post) In her earlier post she said they played on the tarmac square play area.

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 20:02

bluetopazlove · 28/04/2024 19:43

Well mother and child need to be better at organizing their lives because they are failing .

I think you might be failing if you think a park an hour's walk away is suitable for a quick kick around rather than the play area just near your house! 😂

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 20:03

StarlightLime · 28/04/2024 19:43

No, she hasn't. She said she uses it as a playground, not that it's actually designed as one.

That's not how I've interpreted it what I've read. She even checked with the local councillor that it was a play area.

StarlightLime · 28/04/2024 20:04

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:59

She said she had it confirmed by the local councillor that it was a play area.

I can only answer in good faith on the information given by the OP. She has multiple times referred to it as a play area.

She checked with a local councillor that she was ok to play there.
This isn't quite the same as "the council confirmed it was a designated children's play area".
The councillor has probably never even seen it. He'd probably have given her the same answer if she'd asked if she could play in the street.
Why would he take it upon himself to tell her she can't? It's not illegal, just a damned nuisance.

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 20:05

StarlightLime · 28/04/2024 19:46

No council created a kid's play area that consists of nothing more than an unfenced patch of tarmac next to a public path. Give over, fgs!

I've seen exactly that. And OP confirms she has spoken to the council!

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 20:06

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 28/04/2024 19:47

Neither is playing football on a path annoying others really suitable.

No, but playing in a play area as they do is fine.

maudelovesharold · 28/04/2024 20:07

SplitFountainPen · 28/04/2024 19:51

It does make a difference, people are likely to be more patient with a complaining 80 year old than a complaining 30 year old.

You reckon? Not on MN ime!

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 20:07

BlackCat007 · 28/04/2024 19:47

What the council “wants”? The council want people disturbed by kids kicking balls? I don’t think they do…

Why have they said it is a play area then?

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 20:08

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 28/04/2024 19:49

Well mother and child need to be better at organizing their lives because they are failing .

There's some batshit replies on this thread.

😳🤣

There really are!! Some really odd people around tonight! 😂😂

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 20:10

Soontobe60 · 28/04/2024 19:56

Oh, and YABU in not posting a diagram!!!

True! 😂

BlackCat007 · 28/04/2024 20:10

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 20:07

Why have they said it is a play area then?

F knows. It’s not fair to kick balls in residential areas

carerlookingtochangejob · 28/04/2024 20:13

on the path that runs past our house, and if course I love to do this with him. There is a tarmac square play area adjacent to the path which is just the right size for kicking the ball about.

She clearly states that they are playing in the tarmac play area! Not on the path!!!

Lots of you need to learn how to read and comprehend what you are reading!!! It is a play area!!

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 20:15

BlackCat007 · 28/04/2024 19:49

The council aren’t living there putting up with it are they

It's called being tolerant. If you live around other people who are doing nothing illegal and following all rules you have to put up with other people, dare I say even children making some noise! When did people become so intolerant and lose any sense of community. If you want silence choose somewhere quiet to live. If you want to live round people you put up with a bit of noise. I don't like all the cars parked outside my house making noise and fumes, I don't like it when the baby cries next door, I don't like the man who smokes on his doorstep. But I choose to live around other people, I take responsibility for that, and I do my best to get along with them....because I'm not a dickhead!

Screamingabdabz · 28/04/2024 20:16

ASighMadeOfStone · 28/04/2024 19:59

That's the only reason I opened it.
Funny isn't it how when it isn't an older person the ageist posters never think to mention the age.

Yep she’s old and a woman so double the bigotry and nastiness. ‘Who cares if you make her life a complete misery - miserable old cow - you kick the ball harder and complain to the council just for good measure to make her even more unhappy in her own home...’ 🙄

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 20:17

EmilyTjP · 28/04/2024 19:58

We had a child playing with our ball outside
our home the other day and I commented how lovely it was to see a kid playing outside!
I’d love a game of Kerby. Did anyone else used to play that?

I'm not sure I remember that game. But definitely remember hopscotch and french skipping!

StarlightLime · 28/04/2024 20:17

carerlookingtochangejob · 28/04/2024 20:13

on the path that runs past our house, and if course I love to do this with him. There is a tarmac square play area adjacent to the path which is just the right size for kicking the ball about.

She clearly states that they are playing in the tarmac play area! Not on the path!!!

Lots of you need to learn how to read and comprehend what you are reading!!! It is a play area!!

So apart from the garden which isn't massive, the path is the only place to play - from the op, @19.03
Lots of us are perfectly capable of reading and comprehending what we've read. You seem to be lagging behind a bit in that department yourself.
#peoplewholiveinglasshouses

JaniceBattersby · 28/04/2024 20:17

Children have as much right to use open spaces as adults. So what if the lady had to put up with the thud of a ball for a few minutes? That’s life.

Tbh the sounds of cars constantly going past and dogs barking and those wind chime things piss me off but I live in an area with other people living in it so I just shrug my shoulders.