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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Woman keeps shouting at us to stop playing football

221 replies

WinkyTinky · 28/04/2024 17:46

I've just come in from about 10 minutes kick about with my DS12. He likes me to play football with him, either in the garden or out on the path that runs past our house, and if course I love to do this with him. There is a tarmac square play area adjacent to the path which is just the right size for kicking the ball about. Kids from the street have played there over the years, but most of them have grown up now so it's only me and my son who play there, maximum of half an hour on a Sunday. Our garden is soaking wet so the path is the best place to get out at the moment.

Anyway, an older lady lives down on the next street and her house looks into this path. Every time we play there she comes to her upstairs window and shouts "Hoi! Clear off!" within minutes of us starting to play. We are as quiet as possible, and quite honestly she could have to deal with a lot worse than this. Normally, if anyone complained, I would stop immediately and go somewhere else, but having spoken to other neighbours, she has done this to their kids going back 30 years. Their advice to me (who don't mind at all us playing) is to ignore her and carry on.

I would do this, although reluctantly as I am very much a people pleaser and hate the thought of upsetting or inconveniencing anyone, but my son is so upset about it he just says let's go in. It takes me some time to persuade him to go out at all now, he's so wary of her, and I'm really annoyed that she's spoiling our very small bit of fun and fresh air.

Are we in the wrong by playing here? Or is she out of order to shout at us every time? Just to point out, there are no "no ball game" signs around, and I have even checked with a local councillor that we are ok to play there. How do I deal with her? I obviously don't want to have a go at an old lady, but surely she can allow kids to play quietly for a short time?

OP posts:
WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:20

BlackCat007 · 28/04/2024 19:14

And a perfect opportunity for him to learn respect for others. Not everyone wants a ball kicked about

Don't live in a house next to a play area then!

Saschka · 28/04/2024 19:20

Is it because we're quiet we're easy targets for a telling off? The other boys never seemed to get any reaction from her

Yes, if you asked her who on earth she thought she was to tell you to clear off, and carried on playing, I doubt she’d keep arguing. I expect if the previous kids were a bit mouthier and she gave up shouting at them.

Funkyslippers · 28/04/2024 19:22

DrJoanAllenby · 28/04/2024 18:49

He's 12 and playing football with his mum! Why isn't he going out to meet his friends over the park for a game of football?

What's wrong with playing with his mum for God's sake? He can play with his mates too. What a weird reply.

My DD goes in to town with her mates. Guess what, she sometimes goes with me too!

bluetopazlove · 28/04/2024 19:23

IncognitoUsername · 28/04/2024 19:18

Our nearest sports park is a 15 minute drive away. Hardly practical for a quick kick about.

Our opposite neighbour is kicking a ball around outside right now. With windows closed and to on I can hardly hear him. Kids make noise - as long as it’s not early/late in the day then people have to put up with it.

I'm sorry you can't walk for fifteen mins to the sports park? Do you even have bikes ?

BlackCat007 · 28/04/2024 19:24

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:20

Don't live in a house next to a play area then!

What a ridiculously benign reply. Not everyone wants a kid kicking a ball.

tracktrail · 28/04/2024 19:25

Out walking my dog today round the local estate, I saw only 2 little girls out playing on a green area outside houses. It did strike me as sad that 40 years ago, it would have been full of kids out playing games, kicking balls about biking, etc. I grew up on a similar estate in another town. We were out morning till evening at their ages. Here is a kid out playing, albeit with mum, and people honestly think he shouldn't, the mind boggles.

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:26

bluetopazlove · 28/04/2024 19:23

I'm sorry you can't walk for fifteen mins to the sports park? Do you even have bikes ?

Presumably if it is a 15 min drive it will take rather longer to walk! 🙄

Gcsunnyside23 · 28/04/2024 19:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GreyBlackLove · 28/04/2024 19:27

You're in a play area, where ball games are allowed. Play on - the neighbour will need to learn that her preference doesn't override the rights of others, and if she doesn't like that she can of course move.

bluetopazlove · 28/04/2024 19:28

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:26

Presumably if it is a 15 min drive it will take rather longer to walk! 🙄

So you walk there , what is the matter with people?

IncognitoUsername · 28/04/2024 19:30

bluetopazlove · 28/04/2024 19:23

I'm sorry you can't walk for fifteen mins to the sports park? Do you even have bikes ?

It’s a 15 minute drive away. Would take considerably longer to walk. And no, I don’t have a bike, though I’m not sure what point you are trying to make?

Cheeesus · 28/04/2024 19:31

bluetopazlove · 28/04/2024 19:28

So you walk there , what is the matter with people?

It’s not really feasible to walk 5 miles or whatever and then back again every time you want a quick kick around.

Kendodd · 28/04/2024 19:31

God when did people get so intolerant and miserable. Tough luck for her, there are other people she has to share the world with. Suck it up snowflake.

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:31

BlackCat007 · 28/04/2024 19:24

What a ridiculously benign reply. Not everyone wants a kid kicking a ball.

No problem! It's really quite simple - don't live in a house next to a place kids will be kicking balls! Why should the DC have to stop their play because someone has moved into a house next to their play area and has decided actually they don't want DC to play there? I honestly can't understand the stupidity of someone moving next to a play area then complaining DC are playing! What if your neighbour decided she didn't like the sound of you walking on the pavement in front of her house or the noise of your car outside her house? Would you stop walking on the pavement? Stop parking your car on the road? Of course you wouldn't!!

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 28/04/2024 19:33

Just ignore her.

Kendodd · 28/04/2024 19:33

BlackCat007 · 28/04/2024 19:14

And a perfect opportunity for him to learn respect for others. Not everyone wants a ball kicked about

Why can't she learn some respect for others?

BlackCat007 · 28/04/2024 19:33

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:31

No problem! It's really quite simple - don't live in a house next to a place kids will be kicking balls! Why should the DC have to stop their play because someone has moved into a house next to their play area and has decided actually they don't want DC to play there? I honestly can't understand the stupidity of someone moving next to a play area then complaining DC are playing! What if your neighbour decided she didn't like the sound of you walking on the pavement in front of her house or the noise of your car outside her house? Would you stop walking on the pavement? Stop parking your car on the road? Of course you wouldn't!!

Your reply is full of useless clichès. Move house? Don’t live there? What, cos some kid can’t respect the neighbours? Talk about kids are in charge these days

StarlightLime · 28/04/2024 19:34

So apart from the garden which isn't massive, the path is the only place to play
Right, so it's a public path, not a "play area" 🙄
Go to the park.

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:34

bluetopazlove · 28/04/2024 19:28

So you walk there , what is the matter with people?

Because the mum and son have half an hour to play. Considering the park will take around an hour to walk to it's not really suitable is it?

BlackCat007 · 28/04/2024 19:34

Waking on the pavement? Do what? The kid is kicking a football.

AliceKyteler · 28/04/2024 19:35

maudelovesharold · 28/04/2024 18:36

The oldies are getting a pasting on MN today! I knew by the thread title, before I opened it, that the protagonist was bound to be ‘older’ ‘old’ or ‘elderly’!

Had exactly the same thoughts.
There's definitely a "theme" today

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 28/04/2024 19:35

bluetopazlove · 28/04/2024 19:13

Take your kid to a sports park , where they are meant to play sports not in the street .

'Sports park'

What's that then?

BlackCat007 · 28/04/2024 19:36

Kendodd · 28/04/2024 19:33

Why can't she learn some respect for others?

She’s an adult. Why does what the kid wants trump her?

Kendodd · 28/04/2024 19:36

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 28/04/2024 19:33

Just ignore her.

Best advice on the thread op.

bluetopazlove · 28/04/2024 19:36

WatermelonWaveclub · 28/04/2024 19:34

Because the mum and son have half an hour to play. Considering the park will take around an hour to walk to it's not really suitable is it?

Is it not?