Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Woman keeps shouting at us to stop playing football

221 replies

WinkyTinky · 28/04/2024 17:46

I've just come in from about 10 minutes kick about with my DS12. He likes me to play football with him, either in the garden or out on the path that runs past our house, and if course I love to do this with him. There is a tarmac square play area adjacent to the path which is just the right size for kicking the ball about. Kids from the street have played there over the years, but most of them have grown up now so it's only me and my son who play there, maximum of half an hour on a Sunday. Our garden is soaking wet so the path is the best place to get out at the moment.

Anyway, an older lady lives down on the next street and her house looks into this path. Every time we play there she comes to her upstairs window and shouts "Hoi! Clear off!" within minutes of us starting to play. We are as quiet as possible, and quite honestly she could have to deal with a lot worse than this. Normally, if anyone complained, I would stop immediately and go somewhere else, but having spoken to other neighbours, she has done this to their kids going back 30 years. Their advice to me (who don't mind at all us playing) is to ignore her and carry on.

I would do this, although reluctantly as I am very much a people pleaser and hate the thought of upsetting or inconveniencing anyone, but my son is so upset about it he just says let's go in. It takes me some time to persuade him to go out at all now, he's so wary of her, and I'm really annoyed that she's spoiling our very small bit of fun and fresh air.

Are we in the wrong by playing here? Or is she out of order to shout at us every time? Just to point out, there are no "no ball game" signs around, and I have even checked with a local councillor that we are ok to play there. How do I deal with her? I obviously don't want to have a go at an old lady, but surely she can allow kids to play quietly for a short time?

OP posts:
StaunchMomma · 28/04/2024 22:55

I'd be tempted to put a note through her door stating that you've checked with the council, you perfectly within your rights to play there, that it's only for 30 minutes on one day a week you will be considering any further verbal abuse as harassment and will be reporting it to the Police.

It sounds like she's been gobbing off at kids for years. Don't let her stop you having fun with your son, OP.

StaunchMomma · 28/04/2024 22:57

@DrJoanAllenby

What a stupid thing to say!

Maybe it's not safe in their area. Maybe the kid lives a good way away from his school friends. Maybe Sunday is the only day of the week that Mum's not working and the family like to enjoy some time together.

Whatever the reason. there's no need to be such a judgemental arse!

SeanBeansMealDeal · 28/04/2024 23:10

I don't think it's ageist to say that, if she's in her 80s, she is almost certainly retired and probably at home for most of the time.

In the week, through the best part of the day, the kids will be at school and most of the adults out at work. She will have literally dozens of hours every week when she gets her own preference for quiet anyway.

Imagine getting to a point in your life when you really have nothing better to do than to deliberately seek to spoil half an hour of a young child's playtime at the weekend. How shameful.

HangryOliveMentor · 28/04/2024 23:10

Some of the replies in here are absolutely batshit.

A child is perfectly entitled to play in a play area, no matter if some random adult doesn’t like it.

The world doesn’t exist to pander to this rude neighbour’s wants, nor to the those of any of the likeminded weirdos in this thread.

billybear · 28/04/2024 23:18

my garage is at back of my house long side wall was being belted my local kids for hours , could hear it in my house i asked them to stop as they damaged some plastic on the edge of the top, we have a full football pitch 1 minute from our houses,one lads mum told him to carry on doing it she gave her permission,. i came home parked on my drive, the mum said i was not being very neighbourly not letting them kick the hell out of my garage wall, i explained about damage to the edge of the roof, she said it was the wind, other neighbours have cameras up ive seen the footage of the wide shots as high as the roof of garage, i had to walk away i was so angry when she said i wasnt being neighbourly,if its a play area for short amount of time go for it

malmi · 28/04/2024 23:33

StarlightLime · 28/04/2024 21:39

Isn't that a car park?

No, the parking is on this side of the grass. The cars would have to drive over the grass to get to the tarmac area.

Delphiniumandlupins · 28/04/2024 23:54

Invite her out to be goalie

WatermelonWaveclub · 29/04/2024 06:26

Delphiniumandlupins · 28/04/2024 23:54

Invite her out to be goalie

😂

Topseyt123 · 29/04/2024 09:14

Delphiniumandlupins · 28/04/2024 23:54

Invite her out to be goalie

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Now there's a great idea. Do this. 🤣🤣

Ohlookwhoitis · 29/04/2024 09:15

BlackCat007 · 28/04/2024 19:14

And a perfect opportunity for him to learn respect for others. Not everyone wants a ball kicked about

You can't dictate what a child does. It's a ball not a bomb. Kids are out in my street playing all sorts, making noise for hours. It's annoying but glad to see them out having fun. Half an hour is nothing.

Ohlookwhoitis · 29/04/2024 09:21

BlackCat007 · 28/04/2024 19:33

Your reply is full of useless clichès. Move house? Don’t live there? What, cos some kid can’t respect the neighbours? Talk about kids are in charge these days

WTF? Kids in charge? For going outside to play? I'm beginning to think these replies are from people who don't let their kids move from the locked back garden, not allowed to get buses until they're 18.

CaptainMyCaptain · 29/04/2024 09:24

Ohlookwhoitis · 29/04/2024 09:15

You can't dictate what a child does. It's a ball not a bomb. Kids are out in my street playing all sorts, making noise for hours. It's annoying but glad to see them out having fun. Half an hour is nothing.

I live in a (nice) cul de sac. Children play football in the actual road and run around all over the grass area. Some people on this thread would have an absolute fit. I played out as a child in the 60s and I'm glad these children are also able to do this.

Ohlookwhoitis · 29/04/2024 09:29

bluetopazlove · 28/04/2024 19:43

Well mother and child need to be better at organizing their lives because they are failing .

Haha. This is hands down the most dramatic and batshit post I've ever seen on Mumsnet.

Ohlookwhoitis · 29/04/2024 09:43

bluetopazlove · 28/04/2024 21:21

If he is getting all those activities would he not better reading comics while you are cooking ?

Ah FFS. How condescending can you get? Just who do you think you are?

BlackCat007 · 29/04/2024 09:51

Ohlookwhoitis · 29/04/2024 09:21

WTF? Kids in charge? For going outside to play? I'm beginning to think these replies are from people who don't let their kids move from the locked back garden, not allowed to get buses until they're 18.

Kids need to learn some respect. People don’t want a ball kicked about everywhere whacking into their homes and cars. It’s an anti social nuisance. When did it become ok to do exactly as you liked

Ohlookwhoitis · 29/04/2024 09:52

CaptainMyCaptain · 29/04/2024 09:24

I live in a (nice) cul de sac. Children play football in the actual road and run around all over the grass area. Some people on this thread would have an absolute fit. I played out as a child in the 60s and I'm glad these children are also able to do this.

The kids in my street do that horrendous ear-shattering screeching, it drives me mad. I still wouldn't go out and say anything though. They do the ring doorbell and run away game too, we just ignore it. I imagine some people here would be ringing the police for that. 😂

KreedKafer · 29/04/2024 09:54

DrJoanAllenby · 28/04/2024 18:49

He's 12 and playing football with his mum! Why isn't he going out to meet his friends over the park for a game of football?

Who are you, the football police?

Ohlookwhoitis · 29/04/2024 09:54

BlackCat007 · 29/04/2024 09:51

Kids need to learn some respect. People don’t want a ball kicked about everywhere whacking into their homes and cars. It’s an anti social nuisance. When did it become ok to do exactly as you liked

Why are you being so dramatic? You're actually making up lies. OP and her son are not battering cars and wrecking peoples homes. Stop it.

LlynTegid · 29/04/2024 09:56

If the woman concerned was reasonable, I would suggest agreeing to a time limit or not after a certain time. I doubt such a discussion could be had though.

The best option would be the now closed playing field being opened, so get your councillor to campaign for that. Meanwhile carry on as you are, and be prepared to report the woman for harassment if her response continues.

WatermelonWaveclub · 29/04/2024 10:00

BlackCat007 · 29/04/2024 09:51

Kids need to learn some respect. People don’t want a ball kicked about everywhere whacking into their homes and cars. It’s an anti social nuisance. When did it become ok to do exactly as you liked

It is not anti-social to use a play area for its intended use! People cannot just decide that they don't want DC to use a designated play area. When did it become ok to dictate to others that they can't use space for its intended purpose? The entitlement is mad!

katebushh · 29/04/2024 10:07

As a kid my brother and I would have told her to piss off. As an adult I'd ignore her.

BlackCat007 · 29/04/2024 11:41

WatermelonWaveclub · 29/04/2024 10:00

It is not anti-social to use a play area for its intended use! People cannot just decide that they don't want DC to use a designated play area. When did it become ok to dictate to others that they can't use space for its intended purpose? The entitlement is mad!

It might be “mad” but that’s how it makes you. Try being at home with a kid whacking a football off the house and fence. It’s like a bomb going off. You have no idea what the OP and her son were really doing. Kids can’t control a ball. Take them to the park; that’s what they’re there for. It’s lazy parenting and I can’t believe anyone who says they wouldn’t mind

BlackCat007 · 29/04/2024 11:42

Ohlookwhoitis · 29/04/2024 09:54

Why are you being so dramatic? You're actually making up lies. OP and her son are not battering cars and wrecking peoples homes. Stop it.

Lies? Right

WoshPank · 29/04/2024 11:56

BlackCat007 · 29/04/2024 09:51

Kids need to learn some respect. People don’t want a ball kicked about everywhere whacking into their homes and cars. It’s an anti social nuisance. When did it become ok to do exactly as you liked

The OP is an adult.

If we're taking the view that turning 18 means you suddenly acquire a greater right to decide what should happen in public spaces, the OP and the other woman are equals in this respect.

Megifer · 29/04/2024 12:01

"Be considerate of others!"

"Where's the consideration for the kid and the mum wanting a 30 min kick about once a week?"

"Sorry my consideration only goes one way"