To be annoyed what DH said regarding periods.

[Puskaboots]

For context he's not usually like this so maybe that's why I was a bit taken aback.

I'm having a bad period. Approaching 40 and I don't know whether my periods are getting worse or if my pain tolerance is weakening with age?

But each month I end up in bed a couple of days. Migraine pre bleed then painkillers, hot water bottle. Pains in my back, my legs, nausea on the first day of period.

So today has been one of those days. Period started this morning. I've taken pills. Been in bed.

Came down to make kids tea and told DH I was going back to bed after and one of the kids can tidy the kitchen /do dishwasher.

I said 'sorry, I'm hurting, I'm going back to bed'

And his response was 'how many periods have you had now?'

In a really snarky way.

I asked him what he meant and he obviously regret saying it and tried to play it off like he was genuinely just trying to figure it out mathematically.

But the look and way he said it was like' shouldn't you be used to it by now? / just get on with it? '

I can understand his frustration, I hate that I'm so affected by it 2 days every month but it's not fun. It's not a choice.

And he doesn't understand how much it hurts :(

And he will never know. I wish he could just experience one period so he would understand.

To be fair to him it's the first time he's ever made a comment like that and it's quite out of character but it hurt, like I'm being dramatic.

I'm not even sure why I'm posting, frustration?

They just have no clue do they???

i don’t think you should be suffering so badly each month. Have you discussed with your GP? I don’t think tou should be expected to live with that amount of pain.

I'd be annoyed at that comment.

I'd also be annoyed by the change in periods, though. Have you talked to your GP? Is there anything that can be done? There has to be a way that you don't lose two days a month in bed - not so that you can be around for your husband, but so that you can work/live/enjoy things, rather than being stuck in bed in pain every month.

He’d better find his empathy in him before you go through peri menopause (which BTW fucks your periods up mine are worse than ever). It’s bell on Earth and you will need so much support not snark

It's been this way since I was 15.

Always had migraines. Always had pains first day.

Flow isn't heavy or no real changes so Dr's aren't really interested.

Just say to take painkillers

I have the mirena coil and I don’t have any periods at all. Might something like that be worth a try?

I would leave it for a few days until you're feeling more like yourself. But then sit him down and quietly give him hell.

No he will never really know what that pain feels like, but he needs to know to never doubt your pain and be significantly more supportive in the future

(I got the coil because in my early 40s I started having 3 periods a month - be warned!)

Kick him between the legs then he might undertake the pain then.*

*clearly not serious

So sad for you. DHs, really have no idea.
Plus, periods do change. I had some scary heavy ones in my 40s after DD2 was born. I sometimes had pains in my upper (front) thighs which had never happened.

Lots of other things can change too! Better give him the heads up.

In general though, fortunately, I was not overly troubled each month but I see from another active thread tonight that many are and, crazily, many are more incapacitated that you! Maybe put your DH on MN for a bit so he can see how intense it is for many.

These got me off morphine for my period pain and the two people I recommended them to both said they're amazing. Might be worth a try?

amzn.eu/d/4MLzEPq

@BirthdayRainbow , part of me agrees. They have NO idea. Childbirth the old fashioned way feels like that!

OP, I also had symptoms very like yours from my very early 40s. In my case it got a lot worse over the next few years. I put up with it for far too long due to an ineffectual GP. My new surgery took it seriously (HRT fixed it for me). Don't wait like I did . Start tracking every headache and every bleed. See your GP and explain that you are bedridden with migraines with every period. I really regret not pushing for a solution much earlier than I did.

I had a partner like this once. I always got really bad cramps like you and had to spend a day or two with a hot water bottle, pills and bed. He said to me once, ‘I thought they were better,’ impatient with me because I didn’t want to go out and had taking some painkillers earlier in the day. No concept of recurring cramps and pain at all. For those saying no-one should have to put up with pain like this every month, I’d had referrals etc. but there wasn’t much on offer and I was taking everything that was. My sympathies, OP. You need to have a proper chat with him about it.

Well, next time he has a man flu, you know what you can say to him…
I would be annoyed for a split second but if it was out of character, I would let it go. But definitely, god forbid he has a migraine, tummy ache, cold or paper cut… because that sentence is going to be used on him until the end of times.

Go back to your GP and push for answer. What you're describing is not normal.

He's annoying yes but I'd be more concerned about getting yourself looked at. It shouldn't be affecting you like this. It's ridiculous in this day and age that women accept so much female illness and put up with so much . I hope you can get some help and more support at home

Explain to him it's like being kicked in the balls every 3-5 minutes, whilst wearing an overtight swimming cap and being slapped across the temples repeatedly whilst having bowel cramps like the shits.

You've been too busy trying to cope with the pain to count how many you've had.

Have you been offered the mini-pill or Mirena coil?

Stopped my periods and stopped the associated migraine.

But yes, your DH is awful, sorry.

Sorry you’re suffering so badly. What pain killers are you taking? He shouldn’t be so dismissive. If anything the more periods you’ve had the more of an injustice it feels. Mine started 2 weeks after I turned 11 and my female relatives do menopause late. I’m already bored to tears of the whole thing, especially as I’ve had my children and they feel a bit pointless.

You’re not asking for advice but I’ll just suggest acupuncture if you’ve never had it. I went when I was having fertility issues and it transformed my periods completely. I can’t begin to tell you the difference, it was literally life changing. I went from doubled over in agony, retching and flooding even on prescription painkillers and Tranexamic acid to make them lighter and a 21 day cycle to a 28 day cycle, lighter, no big clots, almost no pain. As you’re having such a crap time it might be worth a go x

To be honest, that sounds quite extreme, especially if it feels like it is getting worse, and I would be seeking a second or third or fourth opinion.

I've always had heavy periods and cramping and it's certainly no fun but if my periods were putting me in bed for two days every month, I'd think something was very wrong (and to be honest, I can see why a partner might well feel a bit fed up too).

I wouldn't be taking 'take some painkillers and get over it' as an answer from my GP, as it seems like taking painkillers isn't actually allowing you to function normally.

This was me, then 6 years ago I stared the DEPO injunction and it has changed my life. The first year was a bit tricky but I’ve not have a period in 5 years and it’s honestly amazing

PS your husband has been a complete dickhead.

My periods started to get heavier when I approached my mid-40s, my GP happily prescribed the mini-pill and that stopped them altogether. I'm now 53 and have just changed onto HRT, and am very glad I'll never have another period!

I agree you should speak to GP, female if possible.

I would have told your DH - you work out how many periods since X year(what age your periods started) and let you know.

If your GP isn't taking you seriously you need to see a different one, and be very clear how much it now affects your ability to function normally. Tbh I'd be tempted to head straight for a menopause expert if you can, the average age for progesterone beginning to drop is 35 and as oestrogen begins to swing wildly up and down then begin a gradually decrease you could find your periods become more frequent, heavier to the point of flooding and things being a lot more difficult. Not everyone does of course, mine just started to skip every second month before completly stopping in my late 30s, but id err on side of caution given yours are affecting you so badly and worsening.
Re DH, ya he is a plonker but I agree with idea of sitting down to chat with him when you are more able and explain exactly how shit you feel, the level of pain, does he think you are the type to happily wander off to bed out of laziness. Sometimes a person needs to be put on the spot a bit to get their brain fully engaged!!

I spent my teens and 20s on many contraceptives that made me sick, fat and hormonal.

DH got the snip so I didn't ever have to take anything else.

I don't want to go back on anything.