To be annoyed what DH said regarding periods.

[Puskaboots]

For context he's not usually like this so maybe that's why I was a bit taken aback.

I'm having a bad period. Approaching 40 and I don't know whether my periods are getting worse or if my pain tolerance is weakening with age?

But each month I end up in bed a couple of days. Migraine pre bleed then painkillers, hot water bottle. Pains in my back, my legs, nausea on the first day of period.

So today has been one of those days. Period started this morning. I've taken pills. Been in bed.

Came down to make kids tea and told DH I was going back to bed after and one of the kids can tidy the kitchen /do dishwasher.

I said 'sorry, I'm hurting, I'm going back to bed'

And his response was 'how many periods have you had now?'

In a really snarky way.

I asked him what he meant and he obviously regret saying it and tried to play it off like he was genuinely just trying to figure it out mathematically.

But the look and way he said it was like' shouldn't you be used to it by now? / just get on with it? '

I can understand his frustration, I hate that I'm so affected by it 2 days every month but it's not fun. It's not a choice.

And he doesn't understand how much it hurts :(

And he will never know. I wish he could just experience one period so he would understand.

To be fair to him it's the first time he's ever made a comment like that and it's quite out of character but it hurt, like I'm being dramatic.

I'm not even sure why I'm posting, frustration?

They just have no clue do they???

I had similar experience and discovered I had adenomyosis.. the mirena coil really helped with bloating, pain and bleeding.

Sorry that you’re suffering so badly OP - I used to have menstrual migraine and it was brutal. I suggest you buy your DH a Slendertone slimming belt and make him wear it at the highest setting for 24-hours straight. After that he should have some small inkling of what you have to go through every month and the next time he dare’s to give you snark make him go through the whole thing again.And if you want to add a little extra authenticity you could give him a smack around the head. Sadly, you are right - men have no clue!

I’m 43, I’m on my period more than I’m off. Had a fibroid removed 3 years ago and a coil fitted after bleeding horrifically for 127 days straight. I still bleed really heavy, terrible pains, which make me double over in pain. My iron levels are all over the place. I cannot wait till I hit the menopause. Nothing can be worse than this. I just dont think men understand at all what we, as women go through.

You shouldn't be suffering like that I would definitely see the GP though good luck as my experience 99% gas light you and tell you the pain is in your head the heavy bleeding is normal.

But look up endometriosis/ adenomyosis

Just be warned in UK takes 7.5yrs to diagnose either of the above I'm 3 years in fighting to get a diagnoses.
Pain is crippling each month constant dull ache when not on leg numbness back pain leg pain avg 240ml loss a month. Suffered all my life but 3 years ago it went from monthly pain to chronic pain I may have 2 days a month where I'm not uncomfortable.

I'm lucky my DH understands. Yours needs to have a tens machine on his abdomen at a 10 to show him the pain you suffer it's a trend on tiktok and every man struggles the higher the numer where as most women hit 10 and go yep that's my period cramps!

Have you thought about the mirena coil? Wish I'd done it years before I decided to. No periods, massively reduced pmt, game changer! Xx

I found the marena coil a life safer . I agree, definitely worth a try .

DH is probably wondering why it's his wife is the only woman he knows who takes to her bed for two days every month with an attack of the vapours. This is not normal. For goodness sake, get some medical help, if only to save your marriage.

yes you are right. They simply don't have any clue at all. Your husband sounds like he made a one off comment and sounds like he regrets it, as you have said he doesn't normally say nasty things. You are lucky in that respect. My husband held onto the belief that I had 2 weeks of PMS beforehand, then a week of period... he told me "So you are really only good for one week in a month". He held onto that belief for the duration of my periods. Just once you'd really like them to go through what you do! Take care.

What is childbirth the old fashioned way? Is there some kind of new, better , bougie way to have a child?

My fibroids gave me rxcessive bleeding and Dr srnt me gor a hysterectomy.

Gog onto the contraception they put on your arm. No more bleeding! Result.

Go back to GP and explain that you won't be leaving until they've sorted out a solution. You shouldn't be like this.

@AnneLovesGilbert just to clarify, are you saying that the acupuncture helped with the flooding?

I've never heard of this, but would be willing to give it a go if it helps to lessen the floods

He should be more sympathetic that you go through this so frequently, not less. 😥

Awful comment!

Agree with PPs though that when you hit perimenopause things can get much worse. I was fortunate to have easy enough periods all my life (was on the pill) until late 30s, when - although I didn't realise at the time, I was starting an early menopause.

Suddenly my periods became really heavy. Still not too painful or emotional fortunately - but I would flood every hour or two which was totally new for me. Took several years for them to slow down and stop - but it was hideous - and only then did I learn from other women that this was normal. I imagine it can be even worse for someone who already has a difficult time - but nobody ever talks about it!

Your DH needs to step up to the plate now - but also be prepared that you may need even more support in the future. Why are some men such dinosaurs......??

Yes, and pain, duration and extending my cycle. It’s five elements acupuncture so they treat you how they find you rather than you going with specific symptoms.

I went after several miscarriages and not managing to conceive for a year, I was battered and extremely open minded at the time to anything that might help me heal/strengthen/level out, and quite quickly my cycle changed as described.

The best meds for flooding are Tranexamic acid which I was already taking and mefanamic acid for the pain but it was still awful. I went from passing huge black chunks to light red no chunks, far lighter and generally less disabling.

Sorry you’re suffering too @Helen1625

Lots of comments like this but in all honesty there are zero treatment for a lot of women's health conditions. They're so under-researched.

There's also no support for gynae chronic pain conditions - you don't get painkillers.

It's abysmal.

Mega sympathies with you!! Also the frustration of everyone asking if you’ve tried x,y or z and demanded to see a gyno….. I have severe endo and have had every contraception, pain pill right through to robotic excision surgery by an Endo specialist. There is nothing more available and a diagnosis isn’t a cure. Sometimes all you want is some sympathy and not people demanding you resolve a chronic issue that’s under researched and incurable!

I too get a really bad headache the day before I started my period and it's down to hormone fluctuations unfortunately.
I've also had issues with my period since turning 40 as it now can't make up it's mind as to how long it'll last and how many weeks it should wait between cycles! Luckily I have the option to go private thanks to work, so have done that and waiting for test results etc.

Hopefully if you go back to your GP you can get a referral and find out what's happening!!!

Some years ago, in my 40's I developed very painful periods and heavy bleeding. Eventually, after medication had been tried and tests done, I had a hysterectomy at 46. They found endometriosis throughout my abdomen and also in my appendix, which was removed at the same time as 'it didn't look very happy!' No wonder it was so painful every month. My DH was very supportive and helpful, despite not understanding the pain I was dealing with.

They honestly have no clue! I've watched vids where men think we can turn 'them' off and on WTF! As women our pain tolerances are high because we've been told and come accustomed to monthly pain, mess and inconveniences from a very young age and it sucks!

I'm sorry yours are rough on you 🌸

He is being a dick.

Separately- have you really taken two days off work a month all your adult life? That's really not right- you need to be assertive with your doctor.

I’d be going back to the GP. Bit odd that you’d rather be out of action for a week every month than get it sorted with the GP.

OP would not be the first woman whose medical condition has been handwaved away by the medical profession, and made to believe - BELIEVE - that nothing can be done and they just have to put up, shut up, and take the painkillers 'if it's that bad'.

I doubt he'll say that again. And why couldn't he tidy the kitchen and do dishwasher?
I've had a man saying to me "actually childbirth isn't that painful. Gallstones are much worse". He'd never had them.
Passing stones through your dick, or a watermelon through a lemon sized hole?
They just think that's what women's bodies are for so it can't be that bad if they willingly get pregnant. Fucking eejits.

I only had to read the subject heading to say YANBU! Having read your whole post - assuming he is the father of your children, you might want to remind him of the biological purpose of periods and that without them he wouldn’t even exist or have children if his own. Add up exactly how many periods you’ve had, since he’s so interested, and point out that they are more inconvenient for you than they are for him. I’d definitely get yourself checked out though, my periods were all over the place at your age and it turned out to be premature menopause.

I had really bad periods in my 40's. I went to see a Chinese doctor of Chinese medicine and Chinese herbs sorted me out. The NHS don't care about women.