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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed what DH said regarding periods.

208 replies

Puskaboots · 15/04/2024 19:55

For context he's not usually like this so maybe that's why I was a bit taken aback.

I'm having a bad period. Approaching 40 and I don't know whether my periods are getting worse or if my pain tolerance is weakening with age?

But each month I end up in bed a couple of days. Migraine pre bleed then painkillers, hot water bottle. Pains in my back, my legs, nausea on the first day of period.

So today has been one of those days. Period started this morning. I've taken pills. Been in bed.

Came down to make kids tea and told DH I was going back to bed after and one of the kids can tidy the kitchen /do dishwasher.

I said 'sorry, I'm hurting, I'm going back to bed'

And his response was 'how many periods have you had now?'

In a really snarky way.

I asked him what he meant and he obviously regret saying it and tried to play it off like he was genuinely just trying to figure it out mathematically.

But the look and way he said it was like' shouldn't you be used to it by now? / just get on with it? '

I can understand his frustration, I hate that I'm so affected by it 2 days every month but it's not fun. It's not a choice.

And he doesn't understand how much it hurts :(

And he will never know. I wish he could just experience one period so he would understand.

To be fair to him it's the first time he's ever made a comment like that and it's quite out of character but it hurt, like I'm being dramatic.

I'm not even sure why I'm posting, frustration?

They just have no clue do they???

OP posts:
Helen1625 · 18/04/2024 21:45

AnneLovesGilbert · 17/04/2024 20:53

Yes, and pain, duration and extending my cycle. It’s five elements acupuncture so they treat you how they find you rather than you going with specific symptoms.

I went after several miscarriages and not managing to conceive for a year, I was battered and extremely open minded at the time to anything that might help me heal/strengthen/level out, and quite quickly my cycle changed as described.

The best meds for flooding are Tranexamic acid which I was already taking and mefanamic acid for the pain but it was still awful. I went from passing huge black chunks to light red no chunks, far lighter and generally less disabling.

Sorry you’re suffering too @Helen1625

Thank you so much for replying and for sharing your experience with me. Sorry you went through such a difficult time ❤️

I have no pain but the flooding, duration and clotting is awful. I've had very little success with tranexamic and mefanemic acid.

I'm going to look into the acupuncture.

Thanks again

An2020 · 19/04/2024 11:47

I fully empathise with you cos I used to get bad migraines every month until the doctor put me on topirimate to prevent them happening, they don't stop them completely but I don't get as many and they aren't as severe. My partner is not sympathetic at all. Tells me I'm "always ill" it's not like we choose this is it? I'd have a sit down with him and chat about how his comment made you feel. Also have you considered the mini pill? I didn't get periods on that at all. It is amazing!

Carriemac · 19/04/2024 12:42

@Helen1625 I had terrible flooding , turns out I had fibroids and had a 'scrape ' and a mirena coild fitted under GA and completely sorted it. Ask for an ultrasound - that's was how I was diagnosed

Nipsmum · 19/04/2024 13:03

If you are not planning on having more children, maybe think about hysterectomy. It certainly solves the pain problem.

ellyeth · 19/04/2024 13:33

It's bad enough having painful periods, but migraine on top of it must be awful. Your husband knows nothing about what some women have to go through each month and for a large part of their lives. He is horrible.

Helen1625 · 21/04/2024 20:00

Carriemac · 19/04/2024 12:42

@Helen1625 I had terrible flooding , turns out I had fibroids and had a 'scrape ' and a mirena coild fitted under GA and completely sorted it. Ask for an ultrasound - that's was how I was diagnosed

@Carriemac thanks for replying. I do have a large fibroid. I had an ultrasound followed by a gynaecology appointment about 2 years ago and she took a biopsy whilst I was there. It was bloody painful so when she then suggested she could fit a mirena coil, I declined it as I was cramping like hell after the biopsy! She never mentioned having it under GA though. She suggested I could take tranexamic acid or have a scrape for the bleeding. I opted for the tranexamic acid, I wish I'd asked to be referred for a scrape.

The GP has referred me back to gynaecology. The referral letter was sent last July, I'm still waiting for an appointment 😔. I'm on my second lot of iron tablets in just under a year for anaemia so I'm hoping it won't be too much longer.

Soosi · 29/04/2024 00:01

I had very bad periods from the age of eleven. Two weeks pre menstrual tension. Regularly got sent home from work. Passed out on the bus going to work once. Every month 2 days off work awful cramps feeling sick sweating. The doctor gave me pills for period pains they were useless.
At the age of 21 I went on the pill, it cured the problem. I sympathise with all you ladies.

cerisepanther73 · 30/04/2024 06:33

Didn't know acupuncture can beneficial good in that way too @AnneLovesGilbert 🤔

this is one of the reasons why i ❤️ going onto mumsnet,

every so often learn something new didnt about before..

thanks for telling us..

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