Man in ladies’ loo

[Suburbanrunner]

I was out running earlier today and stopped to go to the loo in a local park. A man came in at the same time with his young daughter and went into the cubicle next to me. As she went to the loo the father and daughter talked through all the steps they were taking and also commented on me ie is that lady also doing a wee, is she wiping her bum etc. I felt a bit uncomfortable and thought I’d wait for them to leave. However the father then proceeded to say that as they were there he was going to have a wee too. At this point I couldn’t take any more and said could you not do that, please can you go in the men’s. He got pretty aggressive saying what else was he meant to do as he had his young daughter with him. I felt so uncomfortable at this stage that I left (without going to the loo!)
Now I’m questioning myself - aibu to be annoyed he was in the loos? Or was he perfectly within his rights to bring his daughter into the women’s loos and also use them himself?
thank you mumsnet jury!

😂😂 And why do you think it’s in the news? 🤔

Seems sensible, but there will be posters who won't apply common sense if they see a threat to biological women's spaces.

It was a cubicle not a communal area.

So people are perfectly happy with 8, 9 10yo girls, going to the toilet alone, being followed in there by a random man who just happens to have a toddler?

Don't be silly. Even men aren't defecating out in the open.

Exactly

Oh have we moved on from the “safe spaces” stuff now onto “poor hygiene and smelly wee”.

I’m not being silly, but thanks for the charming comment. Oddly, I’m not used to going into men’s loos, aren’t some just urinals sometimes?

I had this the other day too, in Tesco, but I was on way in and man and young daughter were leaving. NO WAY is this ok! Men take daughters into men’s loo with them, until they are old enough to go alone. I am appalled anyone thinks otherwise. Well done for calling him out.

No fucking way until they're all equipped with splashback paint covering seats and floor and big signs put up mandating sitting-down use only.

Why should the OP have been made to feel uncomfortable with the dad announcing he was gonna do a big piss whilst wondering if she was wiping her privates??

If this really happened, then I think you were
Completely right to be annoyed and the father had no right at all to be in the ladies, toilets. However, why didn't you say something to him if he went into the toilets at the same time as you? I agree with other posters that he could have used the disabled toilet, if there was one, but If the child was able to manage in the cubicle without her father being in with her, then why could he not have waited by the door outside, where he could still have called out to her.

Wouldn’t have allowed any of my children at that age to go to the toilet on their own, not because of a random man with a toddler, but because if a perv wants to perv they will do it regardless, so it’s always a risk.

In fact, the random man with a toddler might be a good deterrent for a perv.

When my OH took our 2 girls out on his own they always used the men’s loos until they were of a age to go in the women’s in their own,I would expect the same of a woman taking her sons out too, you would never normally see a woman going into a man’s toilet with her son so why would it be acceptable the other way round? I caveat this as being a uk thing as I’ve been to some unisex loos abroad where they still have urinals as well as cubicles despite it being unisex.

I've yet to come across a women's toilet where your shoe soles stick to the floor because of encrusted urine.

The running commentary is weird - especially commenting about another person. It would be OK if he was saying to his daughter things like 'don't forget, we flush the toilet before leaving' or 'remember, it's important to wash our hands after using the toilet' but commenting on others is weird and unnecessary.

I think he should have taken the girl in the men's with him, assuming she was quite young and couldn't be left. My brother used to do this when his daughter was very young.

I used to take my son into the ladies with me when he was too young to go alone/be left. He is 10 now so can go to the men's and I would wait outside. I am very particular about which public toilets we use though!

I find it ironic that womens loos can be covered in piss too particularly when women squat to avoid the pee of the previous user, thus perpetuating the women's pee on toilet seats vicious circle

So more men in the ladies then...

Really? I saw exactly the same in the Wetherspoons in Canterbury a few weeks ago. Massive bloke had taken his two kids out for breakfast- and took them both into the ladies loo- a boy about 8 and a girl about 6. Made me really uncomfortable- but obviously I’m not going to challenge him.

Made me so cross, it now appears we have men’s loos and “family loos”

lmao this.

Just an added bonus of non-perv dad taking toddler daughter to the toilet.

This ^

It wouldn’t have bothered me at all! He was a big OTT with his commentary but maybe the child needed reassurance and that was his way of giving it?

As for peeing himself … it was a bit more info than needed but that wouldn’t have bothered me either.

When you gotta go an’ all that!

Please don't use the disabled toilets as has been suggested. Disabled people might not be able to stand for a long time or could have urgency issues.

If you don't have a disability, don't use disabled facilities, much like parking spaces.

Although you’ll find that’s exactly what’s suggested by some people who don’t want mums taking their boys into the ladies toilets.

To Be honest I think it's fine as he was in a cubicle but... discussing it was not

You make the toilets enclosed and unisex and all men will suddenly realise they really like watching women piss