Man in ladies’ loo

[Suburbanrunner]

I was out running earlier today and stopped to go to the loo in a local park. A man came in at the same time with his young daughter and went into the cubicle next to me. As she went to the loo the father and daughter talked through all the steps they were taking and also commented on me ie is that lady also doing a wee, is she wiping her bum etc. I felt a bit uncomfortable and thought I’d wait for them to leave. However the father then proceeded to say that as they were there he was going to have a wee too. At this point I couldn’t take any more and said could you not do that, please can you go in the men’s. He got pretty aggressive saying what else was he meant to do as he had his young daughter with him. I felt so uncomfortable at this stage that I left (without going to the loo!)
Now I’m questioning myself - aibu to be annoyed he was in the loos? Or was he perfectly within his rights to bring his daughter into the women’s loos and also use them himself?
thank you mumsnet jury!

And no one is cheering anything for goodness sake

That’s a fair point

Here’s another point to consider. Some disabled toilets are within the main toilet block, just a wider accessible cubicle.

If it’s a female carer accompanying a male who requires toilet assistance should they use the accessible cubicle in the male toilet or female toilet area?

I’ve found myself in that situation several times while out and about with an adult male relative with a learning disability who required full assistance in toilet. I’ve tried both options and been met with tuts and disapproval in both the male and female toilets 🤷‍♀️

And then you’ll see a thread on here from some whingebag complaining because they spotted a mum letting her son have a wee outdoors. 🤦🏼‍♀️

And then you’ll see a thread on here from some whingebag complaining because they spotted a mum letting her son have a wee outdoors. 🤦🏼‍♀️

And then you’ll see a thread on here from some whingebag complaining because they spotted a mum letting her son have a wee outdoors. 🤦🏼‍♀️

In my personal opinion, I would say do what you think is best in that circumstance and ignore the tutting. I personally would not begrudge you using the accessible cubicle of the women's loos in that case.

It's not your fault that proper toilet provision isn't commonplace.

Oops. Internet signal is shite today. Didn’t mean to post that three times!

It can be a tricky situation but my preference if faced with it is to take him in the accessible cubicle in the female toilet . Simply because from experience it’s likely to be cleaner. If I have to take him in the male toilet area I announce my arrival “excuse us but we need to use the disabled cubicle” But of course by the time we exit the cubicle there could be someone mid stream at the urinals.

Despite keeping my back turned on urinal area I’ve had the occasional FFS comment. I’ve also had similar disapproval in the female toilet area but overall people are very understanding.

It can be a tricky situation but my preference if faced with it is to take him in the accessible cubicle in the female toilet . Simply because from experience it’s likely to be cleaner. If I have to take him in the male toilet area I announce my arrival “excuse us but we need to use the disabled cubicle” But of course by the time we exit the cubicle there could be someone mid stream at the urinals.

Despite keeping my back turned on urinal area I’ve had the occasional FFS comment. I’ve also had similar disapproval in the female toilet area but overall people are very understanding.

It can be a tricky situation but my preference if faced with it is to take him in the accessible cubicle in the female toilet . Simply because from experience it’s likely to be cleaner. If I have to take him in the male toilet area I announce my arrival “excuse us but we need to use the disabled cubicle” But of course by the time we exit the cubicle there could be someone mid stream at the urinals.

Despite keeping my back turned on urinal area I’ve had the occasional FFS comment. I’ve also had similar disapproval in the female toilet area but overall people are very understanding.

Apologies. Like a previous poster now my post has appeared in triplicate 😳

For the dignity of the person who needs care then I'd say you would use THEIR toilet.
I know a gentleman who used to have to do this with his wife

Which is why we would ideally have all toilets accessible and single cubicle

That’s the same if there’s another disabled person occupying the toilet, or if it’s a child. In lots of places there’s the baby change in the disabled loo so it doubles as a family change space. Disabled toilets don’t mean there’s no wait. Sometimes the regular toilets have a shorter wait then the disabled one if there’s a baby change in it.

No it isn’t the same. If you have to wait for another disabled person then that’s life- they need and have a right to be there.

Random people who think it’s okay to take that facility away from the people who need it are just selfish and entitled.

I think it would be less annoying if he was sort of apologetic and embarrassed about being there. Not embarrassed exactly but generally signalling that he knew it was awkward but didn't have any choice. Rather than "chat chat chat, yes that lady is wiping her bum, chat chat Ill have a wee too"