Man in ladies’ loo

[Suburbanrunner]

I was out running earlier today and stopped to go to the loo in a local park. A man came in at the same time with his young daughter and went into the cubicle next to me. As she went to the loo the father and daughter talked through all the steps they were taking and also commented on me ie is that lady also doing a wee, is she wiping her bum etc. I felt a bit uncomfortable and thought I’d wait for them to leave. However the father then proceeded to say that as they were there he was going to have a wee too. At this point I couldn’t take any more and said could you not do that, please can you go in the men’s. He got pretty aggressive saying what else was he meant to do as he had his young daughter with him. I felt so uncomfortable at this stage that I left (without going to the loo!)
Now I’m questioning myself - aibu to be annoyed he was in the loos? Or was he perfectly within his rights to bring his daughter into the women’s loos and also use them himself?
thank you mumsnet jury!

You must try harder.

Exactly! All this 'perv was giving a running commentary about bums' is a huge leap from what the OP actually said.

The smell, mainly.

Personally I don't see how a man discreetly taking a small child into a cubicle in the ladies' is boundary-trampling.

I mistakenly walked into the men's loos in Tesco in Hull last week and I would not like to subject anybody to that it absolutely stank. The ladies was marginally better.

My brother used to say the worst thing he used to have to do was take his DD into the men's with him and when contact wasn't very regular he still feels it was an unpleasant experience for them both.

Whenever i am on threads like this the thing that most confuses me (easy to do i know 😀 before anyone jumps in) is that you would honestly think that men throughout the decades have been in the ladies loo and that its been a perfectly normal thing to do

i can count on one hand the amount of men with or without children i have seen in the ladies loo….and at least two of those were individual cubicles!

So should a dad also talk a small boy into the women's toilets, since he would be as likely to dislike the smell and be shocked by all the men?

Park loos are disgusting generally.

I'd rather not have men in the ladies but I'd probably also rather a small child was taken into the ladies than the men's if I'm honest.

There's a huge difference between a dad taking his little girl for a wee and taking advantage of being in a locked cubicle to have one himself than a bloke (frock or no frock) in there on his own 🤷🏻‍♀️

He should have shut down her questions with a "toilets are private so we don't talk about other people" but I don't think it was necessary to say anything to him.

Although, in this instance, I don't think it happened either.

I used to take my son for a wee behind a tree tbh. That seems to be what most parents do with sons.

greycaroet

absolutely

i had to stop MIL letting ds2 wee behind a tree at school when he was three as i was worried that once he actually started school that he would keep doing it!

he did it against a wall when he was in reception class once 🤦🏻‍♂️

😅 oh dear! 😅

But yes, my first thought on reading this was, "What did my exh used to do with our son?" But then I realised that it was always a tree.

I know a number of adult men who would probably prefer a tree off the beaten path to park toilets too if given half a chance!

Some men do like a bit of al fresco 😀

In all my years of parenting I've seen a dad in the womans toilets once... and the child was having a nosebleed. The dad had obviously been dispatched to buy a new tshirt as he entered, handed it to the mum and left again.

Somehow, all my male friends and relatives have managed to parent their daughters without using female toilets.

Somehow, all my male friends and relatives have managed to parent their daughters without using female toilets

weird isn’t it

Yes, all of mine have too. Strange how everyone else manages!

Well it is, because men shouldn’t be in there at all.

This.

Some do. Read about Colin Pitchfork.

Exactly

“due to the exposed urinals(?!?!) and strangers penises.
How is a urinal alarming?

As for strangers’ penises that’s just ridiculous. A man’s penis is enclosed by the surround of the urinal and not visible unless you stick your face around the side of the urinal. Presumably a child accompanied by their father would not do that.

And surely it would be bad for a male child to see an exposed penis if it was the case that blokes in the men’s toilets run round with their cocks out?

"What did my exh used to do with our son?" But then I realised that it was always a tree.

Was it a yew-rinal?

underthinker

😀

Oh, now we are cheering on marking the public space. entitlement to do how a man pleases at its finest.
But funny how men at urinals are not a sight for little girls however males of all ages peeing in public are okey.

Males of any age weeing in public is not ok

very small children of both either sex may (rarely ) need to wee behind a tree or bush