I cannot handle my boyfriend's dog anymore

[Applecake123]

Hi everyone, I hope you are all fine!
I'm in urgent need of advice, first of all, I want to highlight that I love all kind of animals, and I don't have anything specific against any breed.

I'll tey to make it short and explain the situation, I meet my boyfriend a year ago and we had a long distance relationship, we'll visit each other each month and I must say I am happy with him, he's hard working, he's a great person, and the most important, we incredibly connect.

Two months ago we took the desicion to move together, since I discovered I got pregnant. Everything has been wonderful, he bought a house, were we are both living together, bit here is the issue;
I have two cats, who are we'll trained and have never bitten or misbehaved. My boyfriend has a 10 years old pitbull who's not trained and, unfortunately (I did not noticed this before) not very well maintained, worse part the dog is incredibly aggressive towards other animals. Until now we did try to introduce them, and my cat's are really into getting close to the dog, but everytime the dog sees the cats he just wants to run towards them and attack them.

I'm terrorised that the dog will hurt my cats, and we are into the limit were it's either the dog locked downstairs, or my cats locked in the room (which makes me terribly angry, my cats spend days and nights locked in the room with me, without access to their litter box, because the dog cannot behave).

Plus point; the dog pee and poop everywhere in the house, it doesn't matter if you just walked her for 30 minutes, she will come back, rest and pee. She did her necessities in the couch, in the bed from downstairs, and the other couch.

Maybe here I am a bit not tolerant, but I was always very high demanding with myself and how clean my house was, plus now I am pregnant and I smell things five times more, so for me is like living in a house were it constantly stinks of dog pee, poop or just dog smell (yes, my boyfriend doesn't bath the dog, so it smells terrible, I can't even eat while the dog is near me, it just makes me sick).

This whole situation is making my life miserable. I know I sound extreme with this situation, bit I just cannot continue living this situation, seeing my cat's locked In a room because the dog cannot behave, but first of all, I cannot think of my child playing on the same place were the dog did her things.

I have tried to help my boyfriend as much as I could, I understand that this whole situation is also stressful for the dog, and it's been a month we are here, but all I do is clean every day 2 or 3 times the dogs pee and the poop. (My boyfriend is working, so technically is me cleaning it or being miserable with the smell)

I get it maybe the dog is not walking enough, and I have considered walking the dog myself to fix the issue, but the problem is that the dog pulls so much when walking, that I cannot control it, this dog goes crazy when he sees an other animal, and its so strong I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to control it, and I don't want the dog killing an other animal, I am not even allowed to walk the dog (it's a dangerous breed, so it's supposed to be walked by my boyfriend only) and I'm pregnant, I don't want the dog to make me fall or have an accident.

It's just like, the dog doesn't want any solution but just to be an ass hole, she broke two dog muzzles, so the idea of introducing the dog to my cat's using a muzzle is non existent, and I won't take the risk of just letting them be and having one of my cats killed.

Now, I don't want to ask my boyfriend to get rid of the dog, it's been with him for 10 years, I deeply love my animals, and I couldn't imagine giving up one of my cats, but I am stuck.
I know it's completely impossible to train the dog, she's too old, I'm pregnant and cannot really help (I barely stand to survive my own sickness) Andy boyfriend doesn't have time to train the dog, he works all day and comes back home extremely tired.

Any ideas of how to survive this? I'm literally crying every night thinking I will lose my boyfriend and my baby will lose growing with he's dad. I don't want that, but I don't want to live a miserable life, or force my cat's to live locked in a tiny room.
I need help desperately.

The dog is toilet trained. You said yourself when your DP had time for it the dog may have an accident once a week. Now the dog isn’t being taken out to toilet. Where do you think it’s going to toilet? It’s not difficult! The dog is 10 years old and has only become a problem since you moved in.

If you can’t do the best thing and move out for the sake of yourself, your baby and the dog then do the dog a favour and rehome him. If pitbulls are not banned where you are it shouldn’t be a problem if the dog doesn’t have a history of being aggressive around people.

Dont be surprised if DP wants you to rehome your cats too.

WARNING - link contains horrific pictures of a child attacked by a pit bull.

OP, have you seen pictures like the one shown on this link?

https://www.sundayworld.com/news/breaking-news/family-release-photos-of-horror-injuries-suffered-by-boy-9-after-he-was-attacked-by-pit-bull/678589961.html

If not, then perhaps you should educate yourself on the damage that a pit bull can actually do. If they can do this to a child of 9 years old, think about what it could do to your cats, your baby, or even yourself or partner. I know you've said that you're thinking you'll move out until he gets rid of the dog, but please don't hesitate about doing this, as having second thoughts could be disastrous.

I have huge sympathy OP and that is no way to live or an environment to bring a child up. However. If a dog is walked in the morning (I am assuming before work?) and not let out again until 6pm then it will wee in the house.

The poor dog isn’t getting let out to pee often enough. No dog should be left for more than 4 hours without being let out. It isn’t fair on the dog and you moving out doesn’t change the poor dogs problem. You need to get your OH to understand that it is unfair not to let the dog out all day and of course it will pee at home, it has nowhere else to go.

"My partner does not believe that pitbulls are aggressive, he knows the dog is aggressive towards other animals, but he mentioned the dog was never introduced to other animals, so it does not know how to behave. He, as a pitbull owner, does not see the dog as a danger for the baby, ..."

Your boyfriend's lackadaisical attitude to the dog he's had ten years to train but still hasn't, is fucking terrifying. It's often said that there are no bad dogs, only bad owners. Your boyfriend is a VERY bad owner. The dog IS a danger for the baby, and with his appalling attitude, so is he. Move out ASAP.

That poor boy looks like he's been put through a shredder.
this is the 'bite style' Pits and Pit crosses have.
It's not a 'single pinch' bite, it's a grab and shake where the flesh is lacerated, more akin to a shark bite {the analogy to a shark bite is from a surgeon}.

Pic didn't attach :

And now, after surgery..This was a boy just playing -
Horrific injures that could have killed him. @Applecake123 You have to take this seriously.
Any dog can become 'jealous' of a baby, but Pits can do shocking damage.

You need to try and go to a women’s shelter - maybe you’re not being “abused” now as such but this is a TERRIBLE unhygienic situation for you to be living in. Not to mention your unnborn child.
Alternatively contact your local council to say you are homeless se if you can’t get emergency accommodation.

You can’t seriously have a baby living in those conditions. also I would seriously consider what sort of person you are having a baby with if he thinks this situation is in any way acceptable.

Tell your midwife if she is any good she will find you some routes to get help s

The OP is a bad pet owner too though.

She moved her cats into a home with a dog without knowing that they'd get on.
Then she's blaming the dog saying she's an asshole but saying her own cats are just being friendly.
If the cats are just being friendly then are they also stupid or something? They would know that the dog doesn't like them.

Sounds more like the goady cats that live around here that deliberately try to annoy dogs that they know don't like them.

You don't know much about cats, do you? The poor cats have no choice. It was stupid of the OP to move cats in with a dog of this type, I'll grant you. It was never going to work. This untrained vicious mutt will kill them if the opportunity arises - and it will!

However, I doubt very much that cats are "goading" your local dogs!! Unless they are used to dogs, they are mostly afraid of them. The three panicked in my living room when a dog barked loudly in the street.

There's a lot of cats in my street, and I have had cats my whole life, and I have literally never, ever, seen one goad a dog. What a crock!!

@Applecake123 I appreciate you haven't been back to the thread for a bit but please take the advice onboard.

This dog is fucking dangerous. It is a threat to your baby, a huge threat. It is also likely to kill your cats. They're constantly living in misery because you are keeping them shut in with no access to a litter tray.

You have got yourself into a bad situation with a partner who doesn't give a shit about your unborn baby or you, and is willing to allow you to live in a disgusting house with a dog that poses a threat to your baby, your cats, and to you.

You need to get yourself out of this mess.

I was approaching it from the OPs thought process which is that the dog is just being an 'asshole' and her cats are just being friendly.

However yes I've witnessed lots of behaviour which looks like cats goading dogs, and the internet is full of stories of people asking why cats deliberately try to annoy/antagonise/torment dogs so it's certainly not some behaviour that I plucked from the sky, lots of people have witnessed the same.

It's not something I've ever seen. And the dog is an asshole, not its fault, but the fault of its owner. Cats can't cause anywhere near the same damage as a dog.

I have seen a cat being goaded by a magpie though! Same cat caught a magpie one day, got distracted and let it go - so they were probably exacting revenge!

My three are afraid of dogs - even the one who used to live with a Lab!

Well done OP. I am sure that is right to move away in these circumstances, and I completely understand your concern about getting the blame if you try to force him to get rid of the dog.

I will have my fingers crossed for you that when the baby comes it wakes him up a little. Sometimes dads need to meet the baby for that instinct to kick in , whereas women have the reality of pregnancy to prepare them. I got everything I could ready for our first but DH only put up the crib etc while I was still in hospital! He met the baby and rushed off to do it all! He’s been a good dad thereafter, but somehow didn’t absorb the reality. Maybe he thought I just got fat!

Given that you've got to make the most of the situation, I'd suggest setting up a permanent
area for your cats away from the dog, with litter trays and so forth. Do you have any outside space? I'm not sure where you are in the world, but a catio could be an option? Alternatively could doggy have a door onto the yard, to encourage him to toilet outside?

No-one "fully knows" that about any dog, whatever they might like to believe. Sadly there was a case in France where 2 dachshunds killed a newborn. Dachshunds!

That happened in 1997 near Verdun, Dachshunds were bred to flush out badgers so a newborn mewling baby wouldn't have stood a chance.

Shockingly a Dachshund specialist flew to their defence.

ANY dog near a newborn is a risk, especially if the dog has been a ''baby'' before the real baby comes along.

The solution is simple - if he doesn’t give that dog the pink juice you leave. It’s entirely irresponsible to stay in the same house as that dog with a baby

has the Op come back with an update since ' the weekend ' has been and gone ? - 29th March when she wrote that...

indeed there's been 2 weekends since !

or maybe she has come to her senses and returned home, with her cats !

@ShyOchreDeer such ignorant arrogance. I hope it doesn't come back to bite you. Or worse.

Lol okay 👍 my dogs r never alone with my kids. Ever. Breed doesn't matter as l9nf as they are trained properly and effort put in to it.

No reputable dog trainer would ever, ever say 'breed doesn't matter' @ShyOchreDeer

You are very naive. Breed and build both matter and it does dogs a disservice to claim otherwise, because they should be trained in the best way for their breed and build and not put in situations that have increased risk of injury for any party involved.