I cannot handle my boyfriend's dog anymore

[Applecake123]

Hi everyone, I hope you are all fine!
I'm in urgent need of advice, first of all, I want to highlight that I love all kind of animals, and I don't have anything specific against any breed.

I'll tey to make it short and explain the situation, I meet my boyfriend a year ago and we had a long distance relationship, we'll visit each other each month and I must say I am happy with him, he's hard working, he's a great person, and the most important, we incredibly connect.

Two months ago we took the desicion to move together, since I discovered I got pregnant. Everything has been wonderful, he bought a house, were we are both living together, bit here is the issue;
I have two cats, who are we'll trained and have never bitten or misbehaved. My boyfriend has a 10 years old pitbull who's not trained and, unfortunately (I did not noticed this before) not very well maintained, worse part the dog is incredibly aggressive towards other animals. Until now we did try to introduce them, and my cat's are really into getting close to the dog, but everytime the dog sees the cats he just wants to run towards them and attack them.

I'm terrorised that the dog will hurt my cats, and we are into the limit were it's either the dog locked downstairs, or my cats locked in the room (which makes me terribly angry, my cats spend days and nights locked in the room with me, without access to their litter box, because the dog cannot behave).

Plus point; the dog pee and poop everywhere in the house, it doesn't matter if you just walked her for 30 minutes, she will come back, rest and pee. She did her necessities in the couch, in the bed from downstairs, and the other couch.

Maybe here I am a bit not tolerant, but I was always very high demanding with myself and how clean my house was, plus now I am pregnant and I smell things five times more, so for me is like living in a house were it constantly stinks of dog pee, poop or just dog smell (yes, my boyfriend doesn't bath the dog, so it smells terrible, I can't even eat while the dog is near me, it just makes me sick).

This whole situation is making my life miserable. I know I sound extreme with this situation, bit I just cannot continue living this situation, seeing my cat's locked In a room because the dog cannot behave, but first of all, I cannot think of my child playing on the same place were the dog did her things.

I have tried to help my boyfriend as much as I could, I understand that this whole situation is also stressful for the dog, and it's been a month we are here, but all I do is clean every day 2 or 3 times the dogs pee and the poop. (My boyfriend is working, so technically is me cleaning it or being miserable with the smell)

I get it maybe the dog is not walking enough, and I have considered walking the dog myself to fix the issue, but the problem is that the dog pulls so much when walking, that I cannot control it, this dog goes crazy when he sees an other animal, and its so strong I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to control it, and I don't want the dog killing an other animal, I am not even allowed to walk the dog (it's a dangerous breed, so it's supposed to be walked by my boyfriend only) and I'm pregnant, I don't want the dog to make me fall or have an accident.

It's just like, the dog doesn't want any solution but just to be an ass hole, she broke two dog muzzles, so the idea of introducing the dog to my cat's using a muzzle is non existent, and I won't take the risk of just letting them be and having one of my cats killed.

Now, I don't want to ask my boyfriend to get rid of the dog, it's been with him for 10 years, I deeply love my animals, and I couldn't imagine giving up one of my cats, but I am stuck.
I know it's completely impossible to train the dog, she's too old, I'm pregnant and cannot really help (I barely stand to survive my own sickness) Andy boyfriend doesn't have time to train the dog, he works all day and comes back home extremely tired.

Any ideas of how to survive this? I'm literally crying every night thinking I will lose my boyfriend and my baby will lose growing with he's dad. I don't want that, but I don't want to live a miserable life, or force my cat's to live locked in a tiny room.
I need help desperately.

He was leaving that dog in the house all day before you arrived, that's why it was bored and bot trained.

There's no way you can live there with a baby.
Why can't you pit the litter tray in the room with the cats?

This is you or the dog I'm afraid

What have you decided OP? I hope you're out of there.

Move out if only for hygiene reasons !
Your baby is at risk before its even born

The dog has to go, no question. There's no way you can bring a baby into a house with a dog like that. If your boyfriend doesn't agree, then he should go too. This is a horrible tragedy waiting to happen.

Wow so much to unpack here.

My relationship with my dog changed a lot when I discovered I was pregnant, my baby is now 14 months old. I now crate my dog for certain periods and put him out in the garden when it's dry I try to keep them separate at all times. He has never done anything but he is reactive to cats and other dogs and he used to growl if the baby got too near because he's very scared (although that has stopped now) I have to admit though I was very anxious about it for a long time and did consider what I was going to do with him. I suspect you are going to have the same issue if your dog is reactive to small animals, babies will also be a source of stress.

I'm not an animal expert but I know cats usually win when they have a scrap with a dog, and my dog learnt that lesson and now he leaves them alone.

You cannot handle dog poo when pregnant it's dangerous nor can remnants of it be lying around the house if you've had a baby so my advice is you have to get a large dog crate and keep him in there and he should be walked 3-4 times a day and do his business on the walks. Eventually he will learn this is where he goes to the toilet and he will stop doing it in the house but you and your partner must be consistent. If you have a secure garden or patio he should spend some time out there and will learn that can also be a toilet area.

With lead pulling it's very hard to get them out of it and this is more something your partner needs to work on. A halti head collar is one method and when they pull you must pull the lead upwards vertical so that they cannot move forward and there is a lot of tension. Eventually they stop pulling but this will likely take months of consistency so start ASAP.

If you cannot do all of the above for whatever reasons I would suggest discussing with your partner that the dog be rehomed. For your baby's safety and to allow the dog the opportunity to live with owners that can train him etc. It would be the best all around although I know your partner will find that hard he might feel differently when the baby comes along.

Good luck x

First of all, your poor cats. This dog sounds like it's an accident waiting to happen. Secondly, your DP has obviously not invested time and effort into training it to behave. These dogs need to know who is 'boss' in the 'pack', it has been given too much free reign to behave how it wishes. Do NOT bring a baby home with that dog in the house, one whiff of jealousy and it could spell disaster.

Take a deep breath and speak to your bf,explain to him how upset it makes you that dog does toilet in the house,that you have to lock your cats in the room and also your concerns for once the baby is born. I wouldn't be happy having a dangerous dog in the house,suggest doggy day care or a dog walking service while he at work. Also explain you feel he needs to take the dog for regular grooming. Training is always an option no matter how old his dog is. If all this fails there is support in this country if you feel you have no other option but to leave. Good luck x

Have you had the conversation with your boyfriend yet? If you have, how did it go?

You can absolutely train an old dog. In a lot of ways it's actually easier to train a senior dog, they're less distracted.

Sorry, have not read the whole thread. You can get nappies for dogs. Would they help at all?

Where do you live and where did you live before you met him? Unfortunately I agree with othrr replies, you can't have a baby around an aggressive dog

Walking a dog is as important as feeding them.

This. How could anyone think that bringing a dog and cats together was a good idea?

Move out. Your boyfriend will not be a good father if he cannot bother to train/care for his own dog. You, your cats and baby are in danger. Go.

What about getting an animal behaviour specialist in, Google in your area or ask in neighbourhood Facebook groups? Might not be as costly as you think and could help the situation indoors with pee/poop and the cats???

Several people have recommended a trainer/behaviourist @Lillush - I am a trainer/behaviour consultant... getting someone out to see is 10% of the solution.

The other 90% is the owners pulling together and doing the work/management required and it doesn't sound as if either party can/will do this.

I need to find a babysitting job to help with my kids

A pit bull who has not been trained for a decade is not going to become a safe pet to live under the same roof as a newborn baby (or any baby / toddler / child) in a matter of months.

With a baby on the way, a pit bull who has been poorly or barely trained for ten years needs to be rehomed with a confident and experienced dog owner who has no children in the home.

It's madness to think it's even remotely worth the risk of the dog and baby living under the same roof. I'm sorry as I'm sure you mean we'll but the idea some gentle positive reinforcement training for a few weeks / months will make a barely trained pit bull a suitable pet for a home with small children shows a complete lack of understanding of dogs.

No. The baby and the dog cannot live in the same house. There is no amount of training in the time remaining for a dog of this type and age that will make it safe. The dog will see the baby as a wounded animal in his space, and attack.
those cats must be extremely traumatised by now too.

@Polly7122

Training is always an option no matter how old his dog is.

Training is always an option, yes.

Training a ten year old, poorly or barely trained pit bull to safely live in the same home as children (let alone a baby)?

No dog behaviour expert would say that was a remotely safe option. At all.

The Pitbull owner might hear and listen to that if it was delivered to him by a professional therapist and not his partner

The Pitbull owner might hear and listen to that if it was delivered to him by a professional therapist and not his partner

It's not the dogs fault she's been allowed to behave like this for 10 years I'd honestly be moving back out not a chance I'd have an aggressive dog near a tiny baby it's also incredibly dangerous having a baby in a house covered in pee and poo .
If the health visitor or midwife comes out and the house stinks of animal excrement they will report you to social services / child services

You are absolutely being unreasonable to even be considering staying there and bringing a child into a home with a dog that is literally a fatal accident waiting to happen.

How many times do we hear of children being mauled to death by out of control dangerous dogs, if you choose to stay, this is what you are setting yourself up for, it is not reasonable to sentence yourself, your two cats and future child to live holed up in a single room while a vicious dog waits on the other side. What will happen when your child learns to open a door and lets themselves into the dogs space?

I'm sorry but thats just disgusting.....and you want to raise a baby with this man?

He has a dangerous, untrained animal shitting all over his house and is happy with this?

GET OUT.