I cannot handle my boyfriend's dog anymore

[Applecake123]

Hi everyone, I hope you are all fine!
I'm in urgent need of advice, first of all, I want to highlight that I love all kind of animals, and I don't have anything specific against any breed.

I'll tey to make it short and explain the situation, I meet my boyfriend a year ago and we had a long distance relationship, we'll visit each other each month and I must say I am happy with him, he's hard working, he's a great person, and the most important, we incredibly connect.

Two months ago we took the desicion to move together, since I discovered I got pregnant. Everything has been wonderful, he bought a house, were we are both living together, bit here is the issue;
I have two cats, who are we'll trained and have never bitten or misbehaved. My boyfriend has a 10 years old pitbull who's not trained and, unfortunately (I did not noticed this before) not very well maintained, worse part the dog is incredibly aggressive towards other animals. Until now we did try to introduce them, and my cat's are really into getting close to the dog, but everytime the dog sees the cats he just wants to run towards them and attack them.

I'm terrorised that the dog will hurt my cats, and we are into the limit were it's either the dog locked downstairs, or my cats locked in the room (which makes me terribly angry, my cats spend days and nights locked in the room with me, without access to their litter box, because the dog cannot behave).

Plus point; the dog pee and poop everywhere in the house, it doesn't matter if you just walked her for 30 minutes, she will come back, rest and pee. She did her necessities in the couch, in the bed from downstairs, and the other couch.

Maybe here I am a bit not tolerant, but I was always very high demanding with myself and how clean my house was, plus now I am pregnant and I smell things five times more, so for me is like living in a house were it constantly stinks of dog pee, poop or just dog smell (yes, my boyfriend doesn't bath the dog, so it smells terrible, I can't even eat while the dog is near me, it just makes me sick).

This whole situation is making my life miserable. I know I sound extreme with this situation, bit I just cannot continue living this situation, seeing my cat's locked In a room because the dog cannot behave, but first of all, I cannot think of my child playing on the same place were the dog did her things.

I have tried to help my boyfriend as much as I could, I understand that this whole situation is also stressful for the dog, and it's been a month we are here, but all I do is clean every day 2 or 3 times the dogs pee and the poop. (My boyfriend is working, so technically is me cleaning it or being miserable with the smell)

I get it maybe the dog is not walking enough, and I have considered walking the dog myself to fix the issue, but the problem is that the dog pulls so much when walking, that I cannot control it, this dog goes crazy when he sees an other animal, and its so strong I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to control it, and I don't want the dog killing an other animal, I am not even allowed to walk the dog (it's a dangerous breed, so it's supposed to be walked by my boyfriend only) and I'm pregnant, I don't want the dog to make me fall or have an accident.

It's just like, the dog doesn't want any solution but just to be an ass hole, she broke two dog muzzles, so the idea of introducing the dog to my cat's using a muzzle is non existent, and I won't take the risk of just letting them be and having one of my cats killed.

Now, I don't want to ask my boyfriend to get rid of the dog, it's been with him for 10 years, I deeply love my animals, and I couldn't imagine giving up one of my cats, but I am stuck.
I know it's completely impossible to train the dog, she's too old, I'm pregnant and cannot really help (I barely stand to survive my own sickness) Andy boyfriend doesn't have time to train the dog, he works all day and comes back home extremely tired.

Any ideas of how to survive this? I'm literally crying every night thinking I will lose my boyfriend and my baby will lose growing with he's dad. I don't want that, but I don't want to live a miserable life, or force my cat's to live locked in a tiny room.
I need help desperately.

I think that this is a very dangerous situation for your baby.

You are living with a dog which is a banned breed in the uk because of it’s aggressive and regular attacks on young children.

You say that in your country it needs a muzzle but you don’t trust it even with a muzzle on and won’t let it near the cats like that.

The dog is seriously unsettled - it is not being walked enough, it feels unsettled in the new place, it’s being shut in one area of the house. It is weeing and pooing everywhere. This makes it much more likely to react aggressively.

You aren’t it’s owner and don’t feel confident training it or controlling it. Your partner is it’s owner but hasn’t trained it and now it’s 10 years old.

You cannot bring a baby home to this house

Sorry, but the cats are the least of your worries here. It would be hugely irresponsible for you to have a baby or small child in the house with a large, untrained and aggressive dog who keeps weeing / pooing everywhere. It's unhygienic, but more importantly, it's incredibly dangerous. Also, if he can't look after a dog properly (adequate exercise, stimulation, house training), what do you think he'll be like with a baby? You need to leave and find a way of supporting yourself and your baby. Or he needs to find a new home for the dog. That's the choice.

Maybe just show your boyfriend this thread OP. YANBU, YANBU, YANBU from a chorus of mums.

You need to have an honest conversation with him. As surely, he wants to put the safety of you and his unborn child first. If he hasn't trained it at this age I fear it is too late. As a banned breed this isn't a good thing and he needs to make a choice as do you 😕 You also will be entitled to support but you need to find out what that is asap. Visit a local job centre as pregnancy is a portrait ted characteristic. If you only lost your job fairly recently you should be able to apply for maternity allowance. Look this up. I would also get in touch with the local council and put yourself on the housing list stating your current home is unsafe as they may be able to find you housing soon. Stay safe OP and put you and your baby first. Good luck x

I think I read on here that pit bulls are aggressive with animals (because they’re bred to fight) but they’re bred to be good with humans. However, there’s no way I’d let a child of mine near one.

It sounds like you’re in such a miserable situation. I don’t think you’re going to be able to manage to live like this when your baby arrives. What if you’re ill and you need your partner to look after you, baby and manage the cat/dog situation?

This dog CANNOT be around a baby. You boyfriend has to sort this out immediately, either rehome or have the dog put down. It is incredibly irresponsible of him to have a dangerous dog breed which is not cared for or exercised correctly, and being at work all day is no excuse - plenty of people work full time and take their dogs out.

I don't want to upset you, but how old are you, how far gone in the pregnancy and do you really want to have a child in a foreign country (making it incredibly difficult to move home at any point) with this man?

If you do want to continue with the pregnancy, please please come back to the UK (or wherever your home country is) otherwise your child will be have Spanish citizenship and you will be stuck there forever (or until you don't want to live with your child, eg they become adults).

Pointless repeating all the other posts because if you can't see how nuts it would be to stay with this guy you can't.
But I promise you, you won't regret your child having the same citizenship as you, so go home to give birth.

I think that that dog in particular has a high-drive for hunting prey and your precious baby is going to make sounds like a wounded animal. I don’t like dogs very much but I am firmly in the camp that “dogs for life.” Not this one it’s not safe.

Never mind the cats.

You cannot have a baby in the same house as that thing.

Give it to a charity or have it put to sleep.

@Applecake123

The peeing and the cats are not the issue.

This is an old pitbull, 10yrs, training it is not impossible but unlikely to be engrained.

The dog’s entire routine and home has been disrupted. It is going to lash out at you, the cats, most likely the baby as it is small and unable to move away.

You need to get rid of the dog.

Even if you move out and you coparent - he will need to get rid of it.

It’s too late to train. It isn’t safe.

i think he should get rid of you tbh. you knew he had a dog. no one should come between someone and their dog but you are wanting to keep your cats and not his dog.

The main issue isn't that the untrained aggressive pitbull might kill the cats. It's that it's more likely to kill the baby, who won't be able to run away or fight back.

Baby trumps dog, every time. You will not want a completely helpless baby that you adore and are responsible for, in a filthy house, with a violent animal. You say it is sweet with children, but how sure are you? And what about when baby starts crawling? You can't have animal shit all over the place. For a start, it can cause a child to go blind if it gets in their eyes - it would be extremely neglectful to raise a child in these circumstances. Please be very clear with your partner, that it's you or the dog. If he's a half decent person he won't think twice. If he chooses a dog over the safety of his own infant child, you need a different support network, because he isn't it.

Plan of action here is, get rid of the cats, get rid of your useless boyfriend who can't even train a fucking dog and get out of Spain. Go and nest where you can and fuck him.

Anthropomorphise much?

Thank you ~ She really was such a sweet and darling girl.

The blindness is caused not by the poo of an un~wormed dog getting into a child's eye, or so I thought...but the eggs being ingested from the environment.
Seems I was wrong!

Visceral larval migrans is where the worms migrate when hatched into human organs, including the eye..

But this little toddler picked up toxocara from dog poo from falling in it and then rubbing her eye {Cat poo also contains it}

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-11012044

You need to leave, you can not bring a baby into a house with a dangerous dog, and also with the dogs filth every where

OP doesn't sound like the best pet owner herself.

The dog didn't shit everywhere until the OP moved her cats in.

I thought exactly the same, the dog will see a tiny baby as another animal and could attack any time, the whole situation sends me cold, the thought of that baby left for a moment in that dogs company

Yes, without introductions and appropriate supervision, a small non-furry, squeaky mammal that wriggles but otherwise doesn't move that much = potential hunting/food target.

I remember when DC first met one of our cats, she looked at DC, did her "can I kill this?" bum wiggle and got very sad when I said no.

But even a dog that has been "sweet" with kids for years can suddenly attack.

@BluntHelper

The cats are not the issue.

It’s an old dog, who has been moved house and had a woman and two cats move in.

It can’t cope, is too old to train properly and will likely become aggressive.

It could kill the baby.

They need to get rid of it.

you think its bad now - wait until the baby is here and you live in fear of the dog killing your child! honestly this is an awful mess