To have another child when my kids are 10 and 8?

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DH and I would love to have another child. We always wanted 3 children (if we were able to) but the opportunity hasn’t been there to have the 3rd until now. We have 2 DC who are 10 and 8 and we are both 35. I suppose I’m scared that now we’ve left it too long to have another so wanted some honest opinions. Thanks.

Anyone?

I have a 7 and a 10 year old and no way would I be going for a third child. I'm glad the sleepless nights etc are over.

BUT I'm 42 and we have very family little support.

If you want to, you should go for it.

I can't comment from personal experience but I know several families who have similar age gaps with their children. All seem happy and all their kids are doing well. I know someone who has a 26 year gap between her middle child and her youngest (who is 8 years old at the moment) and she's pregnant again with another baby. So if you and your husband feel you have the love in your heart for another I'm sure you would be absolutely fine.

Just go for it. There's 14 years between my husband and his brother. They are close. Lots of people are having kids in their late 30s. My great grandmother had her last at 42.

I have identical age gaps between my 3 and it's been fine. Older 2 have left home now though as they're in their 20's.

You're just at the age when you can start to do more interesting things with your 8 and 10 year old, go on more challenging holidays etc, be there for them as they approach teenagehood. It won't be a good thing for them if the whole family has to go back to the baby stage.......

I'd think about what the potential negative impact on them might be. Less time with you, having to stick to crappy baby/toddler friendly activities, less money etc

My daughter is 8 and I’ve been having the same sort of thoughts - I struggle with the thoughts of never having another child but equally she’s finally at an age where she’s more independent, we can have lay ins, she can keep herself entertained, she’s at school all day, we can actually go out and enjoy things without it being stressful - the thought of going back to that baby stage, lack of sleep, all the nappy changes and bottle making, the taking hours to actually leave the house to go anywhere or do anything makes me want to cry too.

There is the same age gap between me and my siblings. They did not appreciate their lives being changed by a baby and were always quite resentful of me, the one who was 8 at the time in particular. I grew up as an only child for all intents and purposes because by the time I was 5 or 6, they were off doing teenage things with friends. I was never really part of their world and they were not part of mine.

We have civil relationships now, but we are no closer than passing acquaintances.

No, to big of an age gap. Just think your older ones will want to be doing teen things while you have a baby/toddler wanting to do young things.

I think this is quite a sobering post OP.

My dh has a sibling who was 10 when he was born. They have no relationship at all now.

I think personally, I'd prioritise the two that you have. I understand you and your dh want another, but do your kids want another sibling? Or happy as they are?

I think it completely depends on the family tbf. My ex-h was the youngest with 9 years in between the middle sibling and 12 with the oldest - they are the closest siblings you can ever imagine and they completely dote on him even now as adults.

I have a dd who is 12 from my first marriage who is with us half the time and two much younger ds: 4 and 6. It is getting harder and harder to do days out with all three of them because of the age gap. We're okay as my DD is with her dad half the time so we can do younger activities either the boys when she's there but if she was with us all the time it would be challenging to do holidays and days out all together

My youngest is 8 and my oldest is 15 with one inbetween.

That age gap is huge between my oldest and youngest and it’s noticeable. I also wouldn’t want to go back to babies now.

when your new baby would be maybe just starting school or still a toddler depending on how long to conceive your oldest will be getting into/in gcse years. That’s a big clash in needs.

My husband and his sister (his only sibling) are nearly thirteen years apart. When she was little, it was kind of tough for her because little kids want to do what the big kids do, and the big kids were so much bigger that that was impossible. Once she got to be around eight, though, they started bonding more because he could introduce her to things like Transformers and Spider-Man that he loved as a kid. Now they play online games together at least once a week and he’s a non-parent older person she can ask for advice. (They’re 39 and 25 now.)

I’d go for it. It’ll be a big adjustment for the kids, but life is full of big adjustments, and they’re going to have more and more of them as they get older.

Why not if you want to, the younger one will be there for the olders in later life and very nice for you as you get a bit older.

Very age extended families were very common in the past and seemed to work, my youngest uncle was 16 years younger than my mum.

Similar ages all around and admittedly I'm biased as I don't want more kids, but I honestly don't think it's fair on the older 2. I know people will come on to say how much their older ones adore their younger siblings etc, but babies completely change family dynamics. I love having older kids now and the activities we do that just wouldn't be possible with babies/toddlers. They take up so much attention that will inevitably be taken from the older ones, who will still need your time but not in the same in your face way a toddler will.

I think when you're at the stage of considering the 3rd you have to think about your existing children, it is rarely something that would be beneficial to them overall IMO. That's before you even get to the "what if" conversation if you have a child with additional needs etc.

Kids are 15 and 13 and our final baby is due in six weeks (I'm also 35). Do it!

Go for it if you can afford them, and clearly you can

However, be aware you may end up with twins/triplets, lol

Good luck!!

As a teenager, I did an extracurricular with siblings who were 17, 16, and 14. Their little brother was 4. The huge compromises went in their favor, because little kids typically don’t have highly scheduled lives the way teenagers do.

Personally I don't think it's in the best interest of your two children. Depends whose needs you want to prioritise.

My mum was 36 when she had my sister, and my brother and I were 9.5 & 7.5. It was great as we were really involved and remember everything about her as a baby etc. The only thing to consider is that the youngest is a bit like an only child for a while, as the older siblings leave home at 18. My sister used to have to take a friend on holiday etc for company.

My cousins had this age gap between them and one of them has gone on to replicate the gap. They seem to have a happy family life.
I have a similar gap but one older one and then two younger ones and it was good. Remember as they get older the gap gets much smaller. My two uncles who are 10 years apart and much closer than my DH is to his sibling who is close in age.