To have another child when my kids are 10 and 8?

[SongSingers]

DH and I would love to have another child. We always wanted 3 children (if we were able to) but the opportunity hasn’t been there to have the 3rd until now. We have 2 DC who are 10 and 8 and we are both 35. I suppose I’m scared that now we’ve left it too long to have another so wanted some honest opinions. Thanks.

There is a 13 and 11 year gap between my oldest 2 and youngest.

They mostly adore the toddler, however it is draining on them when stuck indoors and toddler is being silly.
What I didn't appreciate was how hard it is to do teen activities with a toddler, especially if your youngest is a full on, high needs baby/toddler who won't sit still! I feel sorry for my oldest two sometimes as it's boring for them having to go to the park etc. And no matter how hard you try, the baby will always take your focus off the older ones simply because they are so young.
Also, the sleepless nights and early morning wakes are a killer!!
I also feel sad that as the baby gets older they will basically be an only child due to the age gap.
But it's not all doom and gloom. Getting to do it all again I am far more patient this time round. And the older two do love their sibling a LOT and find them super funny. They take about 100 pictures of them a day and their friends ask to come round to see the toddler 😂

Easier said than done, I know plenty of middle children who didn’t feel loved

go for it! You're not too old (even if the hospital treats you like a grandma), the others can do a bit of babysitting in time. Youngest will grow up feeling more like an only child but will probably be completely fine with it

Same age gap here and it is absolutely brilliant. The eldest 2 took on his care of him from the start. They, absolutely adored him and he adored them. My son took him into school to show his teachers and the head when he was only a few weeks old. The three of them are still close, in their 50s. They go on holiday together and have helped each other so much in what has been a very difficult time.

My 8 grandchildren are more like brothers and sisters than cousins. No we have a GGS who has been adopted into the gang.

A baby conceived out of love into a supportive family, what’s not to like?

As someone who had a baby when the eldest 2 were 12 and 9 then the whole family DIDNT do back to the baby stage. Instead DS had to fit round his sisters needs etc. And he was left with his dad while I took the girls on holiday etc.

How's this possible @richardhoymanwantshisknickersback? Let's say she had her first at 16, middle child at 17 and her 3rd child 26 years later at 42. She's pregnant again 8 years later so she must be 50?!

Would you cope if it was twins, or a child with additional needs?

My mum was 36, I was almost 10, & my brother almost 8 when my younger sister was born. We loved it, and were very involved and loved playing with a much younger sibling! As long as you have the energy & money, I'd say go for it.

Similar age gap between me and my sibling.
I always thought that my mum wanted me to be a mini parent which I feel annoyed by now and sister has always been the princess in the family because she's the youngest and forever seen as the 'baby' of the family.
I never had as much privacy as I would have had either.

That's just my experience, it depends on the kids and families involved to be honest.

Have a read of a few secondary school/teenager/higher education threads before you go ahead.

@Jk987 - I asked the same on page 2 or 3. She had her first at 14, so 48 for last?

I had a third when mine were 7 and ten. It’s been lovely. Ups and downs of course but all in all, wonderful.

My kids are 13 and 26. They are very close. I was 42 when the second one came along. It's absolutely not too late.

My children are 21, 15 and 6. So I had my 3rd when my kids were 14 and nearly 9 years old and do not regret it at all even if she was a surprise!

Think very carefully. Are you just being selfish. Having another just because you want to isn’t a good enough reason. Maybe focus on the two you have, rather than diluting money, time etc by having to deal with a baby/toddler while the older two have different needs. It will impact the lives of the older two hugely, are you ok with that (because they might not be, and have no say in it).

All three of my children, including the middle one, are pretty sure they're the favourite child! I don't have a favourite child! It wasn't difficult at all. Just treat them all the same.

Surely having any child after the first wouldn't improve their quality of life

I was the eldest in our family and my youngest sister was 9 years younger than me. Of the four siblings, she and I are the closest as adults.

I have a sibling who is 3 years younger, never been close, today nc. I have a younger brother who came when I was 8. I loved him to bits and we are still very close today. I think it's easier with an age gap in one way because no jealousy, atleast that's how I felt. I am so lucky to have him in my life. OP you're only 35 so if you want a baby go for it. I'm 45 and even if I can still get pregnant I don't have the energy for it. Had my 2nd when I was 35:)

Mine are 17, 14, 9 and 7 so as you can work out I have just over ten years from eldest to youngest. Go for it OP.

Yes it's hard work but it's a joy raising them all.

People who have done this or love having babies will tell you this will be fine.

So very clearly illustrated by Vettrianofan ^^

I wouldn't because they won't play together as much but I've never wanted 3 and I don't like babies.

Not all children want to go to uni.