To have another child when my kids are 10 and 8?

[SongSingers]

DH and I would love to have another child. We always wanted 3 children (if we were able to) but the opportunity hasn’t been there to have the 3rd until now. We have 2 DC who are 10 and 8 and we are both 35. I suppose I’m scared that now we’ve left it too long to have another so wanted some honest opinions. Thanks.

We had exactly those age gaps when our 3rd was born, and I was 44! I would go for it. I don’t believe you would ever regret it, and if you didn’t try for another, when you really want one, you would always be left wondering what if…

I had my 3rd when my others were 13 and 10, I was 38. Best thing I ever did, he’s the comedian of the family, has always brightened the day. They’re all adults now and very close, their partners are close to each other too, always there for each other, very supportive and still make time to have get togethers most weekends.

Ds2 was born when ds1 was 10 and dd nearly 8. They're nearly 18, 15 and 7 now and have a wonderful relationship with each other. Ds2 slotted into family life perfectly and the older 2 didn't miss out on anything. They both love to take him out for a few hours now and again, dd takes him to the park and ds1 takes him to the arcades and bowling once a month. So for us the age gap wasn't a big deal.

I was 12 when my brother was born and despite being at different stages of our lives we speak once a week on the phone, text daily and meet up atleast once a month for food and a few drinks.

I can’t get my head around the maths here. 26 years between eldest and middle. Middle is now 8 and she’s pregnant again. So 34 years of fertility?!

no i dont think it is wise
such an upheaval for the older dc.

i agree with this

Mine are 11 and 9 and I wouldn't do it - despite a fairly frequent biological urge!! I really don't think it would add anything to either of their lives, it would be me indulging my biological urge. Also my DC are starting to get expensive

@DownWhichOfLate yep! Though worth adding she had her first when she was very young and has been as shocked as all of us to find out she's pregnant again. She is happy though and baby seems to be developing healthily so very fortunate.

Holy moly! How old with the first and how old is she now?!

As long as you don't overly rely on them as unpaid babysitters and an extra pair of hands.

I have many friends with big age gap siblings who are bitter because they felt they spent their teen years and early 20s raising kids that weren't theirs because parents were too stretched

14 with the first so late 40s now, so yes very young with her first child. Though hopefully that goes some way to explaining the big age gap.

Mine are 8 and 6 and whilst I love them, you couldn't pay me any money to start again in the baby stage. I feel like I'm gradually getting my life back with some cool new small people in it!

mine are 10 and 8 and I 100% wouldn’t.
Things are just getting easier.

BUT I’m ten years older than you.

Thanks @richardhoymanwantshisknickersback . I couldn’t work it out and was most intrigued!

Why not if you want to, the younger one will be there for the olders in later life and very nice for you as you get a bit older.

I actually cannot believe this is a serious statement. It’s not, is it?

My colleague and her DH have three kids, 19, 13 and 5

Another ex-colleague has two girls ages 21 and 10 again same dad.

Personally I couldn't do it (mine are 10 and 7) I just don't have the energy for going back to the baby years (I'm older than you at 42) and I reckon DH and I would end up divorced! Pretty impossible anyway as DH has had the snip.

If you're both on board and it's what you want then I can't see any problem.

You're only 35, i would!

It’s not just about what the OP wants though is it. Or at least it shouldn’t be. There are the best interests of two existing children and a potential third to consider and that should be the deciding factor.

I have an 11, 7 and 1 year old so very similar ages. Best thing we've ever done and really completed our family! We always said 3 and we have the age gaps we do due to infertility (all conceived on meds) and covid shutting down the clinics. We initially started trying in 2019 but then it all went crazy so our gap is huge. I'm almost 34, hubby is older and yes it's tiring but wow its so nice to feel that finished feeling, we're very lucky.

I am knackered though 🤣

My DCs are 10 and 12. Honeslty, no, I wouldn't have another baby now. Things are getting easier in terms of what we do as a family. I wouldn't throw a baby into the mix now.

I have kids the exact same ages and I'm 39. When I turned 36 I wanted another baby but hubby wasn't up for it. However if I got pregnant now I wouldn't be very happy. My kids are very easy now and they are so close. If I was to have another one I'd really have to have 2 so they'd have each other. In my opinion the baby would grow up as an only child. My 2 kids are so busy with life right now that I'm constantly knackered but I can do things for myself like exercise or go on breaks with my hubby childfree. Life is really starting to get so much easier. But do what suits you. If you want it. Go for it

Christ no I wouldn’t. Quit while you’re ahead.

Borrow a toddler for a couple of days and see how you get on. I have teenagers and hanging out with my nephews of 2 and 5 honestly breaks me. The sleep, the food, the mess.

also signing yourself up to another 8 years of school runs. No way Jose !

MIL did this. DH was about 10, his sister 8 when BIL was born and they’re all close. DH talks to his brother every week and they text each other all the time talking about different things. From what DH told me, it didn’t stop them from going on holidays and going places.

There’s almost a 9 year gap between our first, six years with the second and our third is 5 mo. It’s lovely seeing them interact. DC2 sings songs to DC3, plays peekaboo, and is very protective of his little sister. DC3 smiles when she sees her brothers and babbles happily at them. She also finds their hair fascinating unfortunately. She is ridiculously quick with her little hands. I can only imagine what happens when she starts walking.

I have a brother who is 10 years older than me and a sister who is 7 years older than me. From my perspective I loved my siblings as a child and we are all still close as a family now. I think they loved me when I was young 😂