New study: Millions of men ‘would xesually abuse children if secrecy was assured’ — The Times

[ElatedShark]

New study: Millions of men ‘would xesually abuse children if secrecy was assured’ — The Times.

A new study has revealed a shocking proportion of Australian men would abuse children “if no one found out”.

The research, conducted by the University of New South Wales, found “concerning” patterns, including that one in six Australian men said they had feelings for children under the age of 18, with 48 per cent of those answering being aged over 54.

One in 15 men questioned admitted they would have xesual contact with a child under the age of 14 if “no one found out”, while one in 25 said the same about children under 10.

The odds of a respondent saying they would have had xes with someone under the age of 18 was 10 times higher if they were aged over 65.

The survey, which questioned over 1900 men aged between 18 and 65 years old, is the world’s largest child sexual abuse perpetration prevention survey of its kind.

The study was welcomed by those who say that the common nature of xesual violence against women needs to be studied at the perpetrator level as well as with victims.

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/millions-of-men-would-sexually-abuse-children-if-secrecy-was-sure-ncf9lx5v7

AIBU to be find it disturbing that these were the men only willing to admit it and its probably alot higher??

Reminds me of that red*it thread about men getting aroused changing their daughters diapers or that other study that showed men would happily commit rape if they were assured to never be revealed/caught.

What can we as women/parents/men that don't fall into the above statistics do to combat this ? How can we ensure our sons are not thinking these thoughts are ok?

If the post is taken from Lipstick Alley, it could be that the forum alters the word from sex to xes. I think Tattle Life does a similar thing with swear words. Or the word sex is banned, like on Tiktok where posters say things like “unalive” instead of suicide.

I do support the idea of support groups, however they have to be carefully done. I have read about ones in prisons where afterwards they were more likely to reoffend and they all just got ideas from each other.

The idea that there are ‘good men’ and then a tiny percentage of bad men who commit all the sexual assaults is a really good illustration of why so few rapes are reported and so few that end up in court result in convictions. Rapists and paedophiles don’t all lurk in dark alleyways or playgrounds. They’re the married man with two children who sits across from you in the office, the neighbour in his 60s who always brings your bins in when he does his, the family friend you’ve known for 20 years or you friend’s grown up son that you used to babysit when he was a toddler. They have jobs, wives and children and unless you looked at their computers or are victimised by them they look like everyone else.

Not surprising to me.

I lived in Thailand and went to expat Xmas gathering. At least one hundred people there all sat down together. I was the only western female.
Two appalling men had just returned from Cambodia and were happily and confidently telling everyone about the children they had raped in Cambodia.
Talking about the children being brought into a room and shown to them to pick from.

One man said that vile saying about ‘if there’s grass let’s play’ , both the men looked disgusted and said if ‘there’s grass it’s too old’.
Not one other man said a word, generally laughing along. I refused to sit with any of them and left.

I also think living in Thailand helped to demonstrate how communities make actions seem less ‘wrong’.
I have heard conversations between men about how the teen Thai girls working in brothels actually love giving blowjobs.
Genuinely love it, not like frigid ugly European women.

My presence made them uncomfortable as I broke the spell. I knew them for what they were and so they would react in anger at my being there or ask how much I was.

I think if there is no judgement from other men or no criminal repercussions, men use women and children and actually see them as a lesser life form.

Yes men who go to Thailand and Cambodia are pretty suspect if lads or solo holidays.

this is exactly what I thought - I assumed there would be lots more respondents who if being honest would have answered yes, but hesitated 'just in case' they could be found out. And others who wouldn't even admit it outright to themselves but if they were in the position where they could feasibly do it, would take advantage. So agree if anything the figures are likely under-reported.

Disgusting nonces

I'd chop their nob off slowly and excruciatingly

Then hang them

No fucking mercy

If any man abused my daughters I will hunt him down and make him suffer

IMO even "good men" are capable of being twats. Most men might not be walking around all day wishing they could rape us all, but I think an awful lot would in the right circumstances, and even more would stand back and let it happen. Society keeps them in line, but I think it's largely in their nature.

Bollocks I just don't believe it.

I don’t believe it’s that low.

No, thats when the victim is shamed, not the perpetrator. What sort of message do you think it sends children being abused if their abuser is treated as some kind of victim and offered a ‘safe space’ and understanding? To me it would send the message that we need to be kind and compassionate to these men, that they can’t help it, which would also lead the child to not report.

I remember being on holiday one year when my DD turned 13. The amount of men eyeing her up was shocking and upsetting. She’s a little over average height and was wearing shirts/t shirt type clothes but there’s no way she could have been mistaken for 16/17 year old.

I remember when I was about 18, complaining to my mum about “creepy old men” trying to get my friends and I to dance with them at the local disco. They were probably men in late 40s/early 50s. My dad, who I loved so much and totally looked up to - said words to the effect of “it’s just nature - they are just looking for the best of the breed” ie young, fertile, healthy. It totally shocked me that he would think that and I was quite upset.

Perhaps related to what was “acceptable” in their youth? The norms they grew up? So men born in the 60s and early 70s have always believed this was acceptable behaviour.

@stayathomer research suggests between 1 in 4 and 1 in 7 women have been raped.

Who do you think is doing all the raping? I mean, I think some are doing more than their fair share. I also think some women have internalised men’s privilege so much they don’t regard all the sex they don’t want as rape.

Either way, that’s a hell of a lot of rapists out there. Obviously, you don’t know any of them.

I never had as many grown men after me then when I was a quiet, shy 15 year old with few friends.

Perpetrators obviously should not be treated as victims. Who suggested they should? However, some people are attracted and are not yet perpetrators. Every time one of them is helped to stay away from perpetrating, children are saved. That is worth looking at and prioritising in a way we are failing at.

pickledandpuzzled
Ive met some of them because I’ve been in the same situations most women have. I’ve been pushed up against a wall and had someone else try to force me into something. Ironically in both situations I was ‘saved’ or helped or whatever by nice guys who got me back to my friends. I was just saying I hope people who’ve had horrible dealings with men find the others. I’m no good at putting my point across and should have just not said anything but I just wanted to say I hope people meet some of the good ones

Shocker.

It'll only get worse too.

Breast feeding

This doesn't shock me at all.
I remember [i am sure some of you do too] in my school days walking to school in my uniform and the number of "car beeps", men staring and sometimes saying things happened a lot. On one occastion a man who I'd guess to be in his 40's even told me to get in his car and he'd take me up to the school. I was under 14 when most of this happened!

Having had a quick mooch through the data tables, I have to say the demographic percentages are very interesting.

On another note, can any Aussies here tell me whether Element (secure messenger) is a thing over there? I've never heard of it before, and yet it's quite prevalent among the woodchipper-bound cohort.

I'd be interested to know whether that means something...

Nailed it hen, absolutely nailed it.

I do believe that there should be more things available to men making them aware, so for example in my local hospital in the women's toilets are posters up about domestic violence and abuse/female genital mutilation. I think posters as opposed to leaflets giving people advice on what to do, (I know it's hugely a male problem but for the small percentage of female child sexual predators I'll say people) but I think seeing it promoted, there are people to help if you have a predilection towards children, before you access any child abuse images or hurt a child personally, help can be sought. I think people would be to scared to take a leaflet in case somebody saw or go to the GP for advice, so I think a campaign with advice is needed. Some countries have televised adverts I believe?

I think we've always had child predators and they've always walked amongst us, but I fear that with how easy it is to become addicted to pornography nowadays, with it being so deeply degrading to women, I think more people are seeking a more depraved scenario to push their own deviance with, and nothing is more disgusting that harming children for sexual gratification.

@Naunet sending you a big hug pal x

And in other news 25% of people would take a few thousand quid from the bank vault if no one would find out. And 50% of children would eat a few biscuits and chocolates from the tin if no one would find out.

This is the whole point of societal pressure, to prevent people from doing uncivilised things! The real uptake from this is that we should talk about this and keep the light on, not get ourselves all het up and triggered.

So thanks OP for sharing despite the bizarre spelling

I’m Australian - living in Aus. Never heard of element, but that’s not to say it isn’t used by others.

I know kik and Snapchat are used for exchanging csa images (I used to work for legal aid and it seemed they were the most used apps for image exchange).

I don’t know if it was because I was exposed to so many child abuse cases if it’s warped my reality (part of the reason I left), but I cannot get over the prevalence of it over here. I’m sure it’s similar worldwide. Again, perps were just your everyday men in good jobs with wives and families, children of their own, who found it all unbelievable.

When I was duty lawyer or assigned to these men, because 99.8% were men, they were largely ‘good’ men. Just your everyday man. They presented well. Drove nice cars. Had an education, a decent job, a mortgage, a family, a good upbringing, an unsuspecting wife, children who do well in school and partake in extracurricular activities.

I cannot get over the prevalence or how ‘normal’ these men were. It scares me still. I view every man differently now, unfairly. I trust my husband with everything I have, but my god, after that job, I cannot trust anyone 100%.

So @stayathomer , I know good men who I would believe wouldn’t be capable of anything like this, but at the end of the day, it’s usually these so called good men who are the most frequent perpetrators. The truth is, we can never be sure. I’ve had women like you come into my office betting their lives that their dad/brother/uncle/son/husband isn’t capable of CSA or rape because they’re good men. Are you female @stayathomer ? Can you not remember being 15/16/17 and feeling like prey for older men? The catcalls and lustful glances from windows as they drove by? All men are capable of that. Not all men will be like that, but this survey shows us that IF men can do something and not be caught, a large proportion of them will.

Yes that's particularly awful isn't it. Is it to maintain an inbalance of power?

Unfortunately not all men who have an interest in children are necessarily exclusively orientated like that. They are quite capable of having sex lives with adults, particularly if there is a child they can access. Some men really like children specifically because they are weaker, and they are opportunistic. This in part explains the increasing numbers who are caught viewing child abuse. The key thing for some is abuse. This is a much bigger class of men than the public perception would allow. Sexual offending is about power and dominating the victim.

Society has become a bit deaf to that idea. Many men interested in children are very charming. They have to be.