My DH has changed my baby’s name….

[Lilysienna1]

… or at least, he’s TOLD everyone a different name. I’m pretty sure I am not being unreasonable. This is more of what would be a reasonable response. Because right now I’m ready to LTB.

I have recently given birth to our 3rd and final baby. I had a difficult birth, and have just got home from hospital after a 10 day stay.
As we did with previous births, we’ve not allowed any visitors and as I’ve been so unwell, I’ve actually only bothered with my
phone to snap a few photos, in between sleeping and feeding etc. Not announced the birth on social media, and only spoke with my mum and sisters.

I arrive home today and started opening cards and presents that family and friends (from DH side) have dropped round. All with congratulations on the birth of ‘Georgina.’

This would be lovely, if her name was Georgina. However, it isn’t or at least it wasn’t. We had agreed on Emmeline. Georgina was a top contender, but I just didn’t love it as much as Emmeline. DH had not expressed how much he loved the name Georgina - he was very much ‘I like all the names on the shortlist. You can choose.’ Which I did. Emmeline.

so of course, I confront him on it. We didn’t share any names with friends and family, so I knew they hadn’t just taken a wild guess. He looked a bit sheepish and said ‘I was going to tell you. I just don’t think I can imagine calling her Emmeline. Georgina is a better fit.’
Oh and ‘Everyone agrees’ he said. (his mum then basically)

‘I was going to tell you’ doesn’t really cut it here does it? I will admit neither of us were really using her name in the hospital, we were calling her ‘little bean’ which was a silly but sentimental name we had for her when she was just a bump. But of course I’ve said Emmeline a few times and I’m sure he has as well.

He said he was really sorry, but ‘everyone’ was asking for a name and he felt he had to make a decision (that we had already made) and so he ‘went with Georgina.’
He says he can understand why I am upset but as we both like Georgina, why can’t we use it. Seeing as she doesn’t ‘feel like an Emmeline.’

if this had been discussed, then sure, we both have to feel comfortable with the end name, but that decision can’t be with one parent alone, behind the other ones back. He says I was too unwell to really decide. Yes, I was unwell. But perfectly capable of a conversation.

oh and his mum has already ordered ‘Georgina’ a personalised baby blanket 🥴

Give her Emmeline as the 1st, and Georgina as the 2nd name and call her Emmeline, it will stick. Both are lovely names

This.

Add "Georgina" as a middle name if you want, but Emmeline first. Always use Emmeline. Correct others if they use Georgina.

Put the blanket into the back of the wardrobe. Or buy a cat, call her Georgina and put the blanket in I'd basket.

He's a dickhead prick.

Oooh!

I bet you're right!

That's your opinion, though.

There are many people whose children have names I wouldn't have chosen, but it's none of my business whether I like the names or not - their parents chose the name with love. I speak as someone with a "shit" name myself - I always intended to change it as soon as I could but it upset my mam so much I didn't. And now she is gone and it is almost all I have of her, so even though I still could, I don't change it.

We don't all have the same tastes in names.

Edited

Pick an other name altogether. If he genuinely doesn’t think she’s an Emmeline, which is a lovely name, pick something else altogether. Not Georgina for sure. I’m sure his mother and family basically told him they hated her name and he was a wet blanket and changed it to suit them. Fuck that.

Sometimes when a baby is born, s/he just "looks like" a name - and it isn't always the name chosen.

It's his hormones. Flooded with male "I'm more afraid of my mummy than I am considerate of my wife" hormones.

What an entitled wanker! I’d be frigging furious!!

I much prefer Emmeline, and would have Georgia over Georgina.

how you’ve not thrown things at this head I’ll never know!

Years ago a friend had a second daughter, Rhea , her now x husband went to register… and called her Danielle… because it went better with their first daughter Michelle.

Way to ruin what should be a lovely, snuggly, precious time with stress. I’d find that unforgivable too. Not sure if there’s a way back from this, OP.

What are the other kids calling her? Presumably dh was looking after them at home whilst you were in hospital?

This is wayyyyyy too much of a mouthful. No ring to it at all. Could do Georgia instead tho

That's what happens when you get overly precious about a baby . Just agree a name you both like and then both go and register the birth. I think yabu..

Interesting that several names considered are feminine versions of male names, and the one he deliberately went against is a famous suffragette.

My aunt wanted my cousin named after her grandfather. Sent the Dad to do it. Came back with William on the birth certificate.

Our grandfather’s was known by his nickname, Bill, and the dad didn’t know his birth name was James.

I’d go mental!! Not fair at all.

Equally, he has to be happy too.

The way he has gone about it is terrible.

Emmeline makes me think of invisiline… and is always going to be shortened to Emme like J-lo’s daughter. Meaning is fab.

Georgina, could be shortened to Georgie, Georgia, Gina, Ina. Meaning is less fab.

They’re both classic names like your other daughter’s… no one is going to think you wanted boys instead.

I wouldn’t leave him but have a discussion and sort it out.

You probably need to choose something else entirely. You don't like Georgina, he doesn't like Emmeline. You've got 6 weeks to register the birth IIRC.

@Lilysienna1 did you have any other names you liked?

It obviously can't be Georgina now as he has tainted the name and you'll end up hating it!

Just put your foot down, tell him her name is Emmeline, and that as he has been a dick and told his family the wrong name he will just have to now go and tell them the right name.

I wouldn't even want to use it as a middle name now!

Op this exact thing happened to me many years ago. I felt I had to let it go but it still upsets me many years later. Please don't let this go. If he really dislikes Emmeline, then look for a new name, but don't settle on Georgina.

Why should he accept Emmeline though if he’s not feeling it? That would still make it one parent’s choice, which still isn’t fair.

They need to pick another name.

Is that you, Richard's dominating mummy?

If her NN is Little Bean why not call her Beatrix or Beatrice? Then she can still be Bean.
Beatrix was on my shortlist.

My friend’s grandad was sent to register his son back in the day. Instruction was “Terrence”. He went to the pub first, had a few drinks and registered the baby as Clarence.