My DH has changed my baby’s name….

[Lilysienna1]

… or at least, he’s TOLD everyone a different name. I’m pretty sure I am not being unreasonable. This is more of what would be a reasonable response. Because right now I’m ready to LTB.

I have recently given birth to our 3rd and final baby. I had a difficult birth, and have just got home from hospital after a 10 day stay.
As we did with previous births, we’ve not allowed any visitors and as I’ve been so unwell, I’ve actually only bothered with my
phone to snap a few photos, in between sleeping and feeding etc. Not announced the birth on social media, and only spoke with my mum and sisters.

I arrive home today and started opening cards and presents that family and friends (from DH side) have dropped round. All with congratulations on the birth of ‘Georgina.’

This would be lovely, if her name was Georgina. However, it isn’t or at least it wasn’t. We had agreed on Emmeline. Georgina was a top contender, but I just didn’t love it as much as Emmeline. DH had not expressed how much he loved the name Georgina - he was very much ‘I like all the names on the shortlist. You can choose.’ Which I did. Emmeline.

so of course, I confront him on it. We didn’t share any names with friends and family, so I knew they hadn’t just taken a wild guess. He looked a bit sheepish and said ‘I was going to tell you. I just don’t think I can imagine calling her Emmeline. Georgina is a better fit.’
Oh and ‘Everyone agrees’ he said. (his mum then basically)

‘I was going to tell you’ doesn’t really cut it here does it? I will admit neither of us were really using her name in the hospital, we were calling her ‘little bean’ which was a silly but sentimental name we had for her when she was just a bump. But of course I’ve said Emmeline a few times and I’m sure he has as well.

He said he was really sorry, but ‘everyone’ was asking for a name and he felt he had to make a decision (that we had already made) and so he ‘went with Georgina.’
He says he can understand why I am upset but as we both like Georgina, why can’t we use it. Seeing as she doesn’t ‘feel like an Emmeline.’

if this had been discussed, then sure, we both have to feel comfortable with the end name, but that decision can’t be with one parent alone, behind the other ones back. He says I was too unwell to really decide. Yes, I was unwell. But perfectly capable of a conversation.

oh and his mum has already ordered ‘Georgina’ a personalised baby blanket 🥴

Tell him you'll register her as Georgina @Lilysienna1 as long as he agrees to change his name by deed poll to Terence William Arthur Thomas. For that is what he is.

Sorry this is spoiling the time with your new bub

Insane. What a dick

I would get her registered as soon as possible - and make sure you go to the appointment.

i have a friend who was meant to be named ‘David’ but his Dad changed his mind on the way to the register office and registered him as ‘Stephen’ instead. Once it was on the birth certificate, that was it, apparently!

I’d be fuming if this was me, to be honest.

The way he went behind your back is a massive red flag, but if Georgina was in the short list as well, you may call her both names to keep the peace and keep an eye on your husband.

if you use both, call her Emeline Georgina so everybody calls her Emeline with time and don’t let him take the baby out of the house alone until baby’s name is registered.

Get her to the office and legally name her your preference. Then text everyone ‘its been lovely to have everyone’s best wishes, baby Emmeline weighed x lbs and the birth was pretty straight forwards’

any comments on the name respond with ‘no idea where Georgia came from, wasn’t on my list 🤣’

FWIW Georgina is much nicer than Emmeline.

Can you ask the register office about the divorce process at the same time you go to register her?

I couldn’t go with Georgina now. The name has been spoilt.

Don’t worry about changing the name or her not having a name yet! My DS didn’t have a name for a week and we tried different names before settling on one.

Not the point but Georgiana has 4 syllable.

What a dick! I wouldn’t hesitate to shame the fuck out of my husband if he did this. “Georgina?! Oh, he meant to say Emmeline, the silly goose!”

(Georgina is nicer though, in my opinion. Don’t come for me.)

I couldn't go with Georgina either. It would give me the rage every time someone said her name. Your DH needs to understand this isn't OK and announce to his family that he has been a dick. Then you both need to sit down and come up with a new name.

Absolutely right to be fuming but I do think your DH has a point with the name.

I wouldn't get wound up and angry when you tell his family their real name.

Just say hi everyone, thanks for the cards etc me and baby "INSERT NAME THAT ISN'T GEORGINA" are home safe and well now. Xxxx

Then let them all work out what's gone on! Any questions say oh you'll have to ask DH about that not sure why he told you all that was the name!

It's hormones, you'll get over it

Really? It was a name that they both loved and had decided upon. Would you really then deny a mother who had gone through a traumatic birth the chance to use that name? Who the Hell does he think he is?

Could he have been influenced by his family.
"We have called her Emmeline", mother in law "That's awful, Georgina is much better". 😕.

Either way, it was the name you had both chosen so he doesn't have the right to alter that.

patronising. Even if the baby was adopted she'd be likely to feel this way

I thought my friends husband was a dick for telling everyone a different spelling of the name they agreed on (think Millie/Milly) but to completely change the name is another level

Our MIL, hated our DDs classic name at first. She called her "Daniella" for the first few weeks, until we got thoroughly pissed off with her.

I was pushed into calling my dd a name I hadn't wanted, by my overbearing mother, I regret it everyday and she's 20 now, please don't go along with it. Congrats by the way x

Get a pet.

A dog, cat, hamster even a lizard and call that Georgina. Or a doll.

You can't name your child after a pet or a doll.

Yes to calling him Dick / Richard.

He should get over it.

Oh OP, you don't need to be dealing with this shit when you've gone through such an ordeal and have a newborn on top.

I think you need to calmly sit down together and say that Georgina is now completely off the table because of his behaviour, but that you're prepared to compromise on Emmeline as he very clearly doesn't like that name.

Gigi goes well with Henrietta fwiw.

During the Second World War, my Grandad went to register my Dad's birth. He came home to inform his wife that he had "forgotten" the name they'd chosen, so been forced to name him after his own brother.

My dad registered my brother’s name incorrectly as he couldn’t remember. Think ‘Jack’ instead of ‘James’. He knew they’d agreed it began with a J but that’s all he could remember. We all think it’s funny but I get why you’re annoyed although not sure why your preference trumps his. Either agree on a totally new name you both like or one of you will need to compromise.

While I'd have to go with a completely different name on principle now, I can't lie but my main takeaway from this thread is:

Georgina is a much nicer name than Emmeline, and there was a comment about another dad changing a baby name from Robyn to Tara, and Barbara to Julia...Which are both also vast improvements! Can't help but think these men are doing these kids a favour...

EDIT: Spelling