My DH has changed my baby’s name….

[Lilysienna1]

… or at least, he’s TOLD everyone a different name. I’m pretty sure I am not being unreasonable. This is more of what would be a reasonable response. Because right now I’m ready to LTB.

I have recently given birth to our 3rd and final baby. I had a difficult birth, and have just got home from hospital after a 10 day stay.
As we did with previous births, we’ve not allowed any visitors and as I’ve been so unwell, I’ve actually only bothered with my
phone to snap a few photos, in between sleeping and feeding etc. Not announced the birth on social media, and only spoke with my mum and sisters.

I arrive home today and started opening cards and presents that family and friends (from DH side) have dropped round. All with congratulations on the birth of ‘Georgina.’

This would be lovely, if her name was Georgina. However, it isn’t or at least it wasn’t. We had agreed on Emmeline. Georgina was a top contender, but I just didn’t love it as much as Emmeline. DH had not expressed how much he loved the name Georgina - he was very much ‘I like all the names on the shortlist. You can choose.’ Which I did. Emmeline.

so of course, I confront him on it. We didn’t share any names with friends and family, so I knew they hadn’t just taken a wild guess. He looked a bit sheepish and said ‘I was going to tell you. I just don’t think I can imagine calling her Emmeline. Georgina is a better fit.’
Oh and ‘Everyone agrees’ he said. (his mum then basically)

‘I was going to tell you’ doesn’t really cut it here does it? I will admit neither of us were really using her name in the hospital, we were calling her ‘little bean’ which was a silly but sentimental name we had for her when she was just a bump. But of course I’ve said Emmeline a few times and I’m sure he has as well.

He said he was really sorry, but ‘everyone’ was asking for a name and he felt he had to make a decision (that we had already made) and so he ‘went with Georgina.’
He says he can understand why I am upset but as we both like Georgina, why can’t we use it. Seeing as she doesn’t ‘feel like an Emmeline.’

if this had been discussed, then sure, we both have to feel comfortable with the end name, but that decision can’t be with one parent alone, behind the other ones back. He says I was too unwell to really decide. Yes, I was unwell. But perfectly capable of a conversation.

oh and his mum has already ordered ‘Georgina’ a personalised baby blanket 🥴

@Crooklodge 🙄

Emmeline is a beautiful name.

Your DH needs to have a word with himself.

My dad did this when they named my brother (over 60 years ago) he got sent to the registry office and gave another name and not what they agreed on. It was always a family joke my mum was annoyed at first apparently but they stuck with the name my dad gave him

I actually prefer Georgina 😬 but everything you feel is valid to me, it’s such a WEIRD thing to do. How can you be too unwell to have that conversation? Weird excuse.
It’s mad that you probably wouldn’t have minded as much if he had just told you first. It’s the principle. He’s very odd.

Wtaf, I would go ballistic! And get myself to register the birth ASAP- without him...

@DrJoanAllenby
Think DrJoan has nailed it

This is absolutely crazy.

People were asking for her name, and instead of saying "we haven't quite decided yet as Lily has been too ill" he just told everyone a name he knew you didn't want.

I would be getting rid of the name and the husband at this point.

This is bad but i sadly know of an even worse one. A member of my family agreed baby's name with husband when born. Husband agreed it, introduced grandparents to little baby X. Husband went to register birth. Comes back, says all sorted. Mother looks at birth certificate. Birth certificate has registered baby's name as Y (completely different name to X and one they'd never discussed). Mother is livid, father just says 'well, it's too late now.' X remains Y to this day.

OP I'd tell DH baby's name is not Georgia and you'll have to agree on a new one which he can tell everyone. and give him a clip round the ear.

I mean, this is so ludicrous on the surface it’s almost laughable. Of course she can’t be called Georgina now.

The fact your DH felt he had the right to make a unilateral decision while his wife was in hospital, just because he had had a change of heart and felt a bit of pressure from his mother is actually really controlling and concerning.

Thank you for actually making me laugh. I needed this 😂

No! Thank goodness!

I had a friend whose twat of a husband went and registered the names of all their kids four! without telling her what they would be.
Such a hugely entitled wanker. (And sadly she was very passive about the whole thing. All part of a much bigger story, of course. )

This is weird and crappy behaviour on his part. If you’re inclined to hold a grudge, and I totally am, I just couldn’t have Georgina.

Register her asap and tell him her name!

But OP, how did you leave it? Did you say, her name is absolutely not Georgina, it's Emmeline, so you'll have to tell your family you made a mistake? Or did you just say you were upset, and then he gets his own way?

I can only imagine that the stress of the birth, seeing you so unwell, sleep deprivation, anxiety etc. has caused him to have a breakdown!

Find a new name you both like and use both the other two as middle names. One day this will be a funny story....

(I'm assuming he is normally a reasonable person, if he's like this all the time then ltb).

My now ExH wanted a particular name and I wasn't sold on it. My mum came up with it and he liked it a lot. I thought it sounded weak. I wanted a warrior name for my daughter. Anyway, I unfortunately had her under GA (long story) and after I came to I'd found ExH said he'd told the nurses her name was the one he and DM liked. I was so disappointed. I didn't have the strength to argue. I'd had major surgery after all.

All the names I wanted I have/will give to my pets.

Round Robin? - Thank you all for your lovely messages. Just to let you know that Emmeline Georgina will be known as Emmeline.

Congratulations on little bean

Emmeline is a much nicer name than Georgina.

I'd go for Emmeline Georgina.

Don't tell him but get her registered as Emmeline. Do not under any circumstances call her Georgina.

"DH, I'm feeding Emmeline please could you get me some water?"

"Emmeline needs her nappy changed, could you see to it?"

"Good morning, Emmeline!!!"

"DH look at this cute thing Emmeline is doing?"

Ignore any "Georgina" comments. Don't show displeasure etc, just act like he said Emmeline. Keep your face straight.

"How's Georgina this morning?"

"She's fine, aren't you Emmeline?"

Etc.

Tell everyone that her name is Emmeline, you never agreed to Georgina.

If the kids call her Georgina,

"No darling, that was one of Daddy's silly jokes! She's called Emmeline."

He'll get sick of it eventually. Give it six weeks and she'll be Emmeline.

I agree with the comments saying Georgina is tainted now - and I think thats going to be the basis of your argument to him - it's tainted by the fact he did it behind your back when you were recovering from birth!
Who cares if anyone thinks changing it is mad, its how you feel about it that counts considering you literally GREW HER.

As a side note, this is an absolutely batshirt insane move on his part and the fact he doesn't seem to realise how mad this is as a thing to do would make me double down on changing it to Emmeline. And call him Georgina/Georgie at every opportunity 😆

This is one of the most insane things I’ve read on here. Who the actual fuck does he think he is? Emmeline is a much nicer name.

I would be angry BUT if he doesn't like Emmeline for the name then you surely can't call her that either.

So if Georgina was a top contender do you think you could accept it? It is a gorgeous name.

Me too

Men are so fucking entitled. You had a difficult birth and whilst you were coping with that, he went behind your back.

Do not let him get away with it.

This absolutely made my blood run cold. Psychopathic.

This would have me seeing red. It’s nuts that he just thought you’d go along with it!