My DH has changed my baby’s name….

[Lilysienna1]

… or at least, he’s TOLD everyone a different name. I’m pretty sure I am not being unreasonable. This is more of what would be a reasonable response. Because right now I’m ready to LTB.

I have recently given birth to our 3rd and final baby. I had a difficult birth, and have just got home from hospital after a 10 day stay.
As we did with previous births, we’ve not allowed any visitors and as I’ve been so unwell, I’ve actually only bothered with my
phone to snap a few photos, in between sleeping and feeding etc. Not announced the birth on social media, and only spoke with my mum and sisters.

I arrive home today and started opening cards and presents that family and friends (from DH side) have dropped round. All with congratulations on the birth of ‘Georgina.’

This would be lovely, if her name was Georgina. However, it isn’t or at least it wasn’t. We had agreed on Emmeline. Georgina was a top contender, but I just didn’t love it as much as Emmeline. DH had not expressed how much he loved the name Georgina - he was very much ‘I like all the names on the shortlist. You can choose.’ Which I did. Emmeline.

so of course, I confront him on it. We didn’t share any names with friends and family, so I knew they hadn’t just taken a wild guess. He looked a bit sheepish and said ‘I was going to tell you. I just don’t think I can imagine calling her Emmeline. Georgina is a better fit.’
Oh and ‘Everyone agrees’ he said. (his mum then basically)

‘I was going to tell you’ doesn’t really cut it here does it? I will admit neither of us were really using her name in the hospital, we were calling her ‘little bean’ which was a silly but sentimental name we had for her when she was just a bump. But of course I’ve said Emmeline a few times and I’m sure he has as well.

He said he was really sorry, but ‘everyone’ was asking for a name and he felt he had to make a decision (that we had already made) and so he ‘went with Georgina.’
He says he can understand why I am upset but as we both like Georgina, why can’t we use it. Seeing as she doesn’t ‘feel like an Emmeline.’

if this had been discussed, then sure, we both have to feel comfortable with the end name, but that decision can’t be with one parent alone, behind the other ones back. He says I was too unwell to really decide. Yes, I was unwell. But perfectly capable of a conversation.

oh and his mum has already ordered ‘Georgina’ a personalised baby blanket 🥴

Tell him to fix it. He can start by telling everyone you haven’t settled on a name yet.

None of these compare to what my ex husband did when registering our dds birth. He came back him with the cert and hadn't even noticed that dds sex was down as male!! Said he wasn't asked by the person typing the form! Dd also ended up with a fada on her name and it doesn't actually have one. And he and our eldest daughter picked out the name so he's no excuse.

I don't like Emmaline but it's not my baby. (I think she'll get called Emma though.)
I definitely wouldn't even use Georgina as a middle name under the circumstances.

Yup that would really annoy me too. If I were you I’d nip down to the registry office on your own! I’d also announce on social media with her proper name.

He’s a total and utter POS OP. Wow. I’d be absolutely livid with him.

Tell him to grow a backbone, right now. What kind of fuckery is this? ‘Everyone was asking and I had to tell them something’. What a sob of an excuse.

Dh and I waited one week to share our LOs name, and guess what? We were asked tens and tens of times - neither of us bent over and jumped the gun without exclusively deciding on it together.

Your DH is outrageous. That’s just so unimpressive!

My Dad did this to my Mum. They had a agreed on a name before my birth. Then my mum had a difficult birth and we all nearly died. On the way to the registry office my Dad being relieved we had all survived changed my name to something that reflected that sentiment. So he returned to the hospital to find my mother calling me by my agreed name only to be told my Dad had registered another name. Obviously my mum wasn't too happy. They got over it.

His mother asked, he told her about your list, she chose her favourite and he is too spinless to say no, so she told the family that your dd is Georgina.

Fact is that he will always fold to the demanding woman (sad but true), so be that demanding woman yourself. Emmeline is her name. Put a social media post aboutyour new DD. "Emmeline joined our family on...." blah blah. If anyone asks why MIL said her name was different I would go with a passive aggressive "Oh I dont know, bless her perhaps she got confused!".

Whether you can bring yourself open your heart and genitals to him again is another thing, personally I couldnt.

Hhmmm... do you think his mum is behind this? Could he have said 'mum, the baby's here, she's called Emmeline'
Mum: 'oh ... really, why Emmeline?
H: 'well we liked it, and Georgina'
Mum: 'oh Georgina is sooo much better - call her that instead'
H: 'doh ok, we both liked both nanes'
Then she told all the family?
I say this because my own mum didn't like our choice of names and tried to do the same - but with a name we had never even considered and didn't like 🤯l

I would be beyond furious at this and would make sure that the name would definitely be Emmeline, which I think is a beautiful name.

He should have discussed it, and because he didn't I would be putting my foot well and truly down now.

What an arse!

I love Georgiana, Georgina, or Georgia. She could be GiGi for short.

It's a crap thing to do though. I'm sorry OP. 😢

Little Bean —> Li’l B —> Libby —> Elizabeth.

4 syllables.

You’re welcome.

(Also agree Emmeline far nicer than Georgina. Though - for any Georgina MNers - Georgina lovely it’s always shortened to George which is a shame imo as the full name is lovely.)

Nope...... not cool even if he got emotional, the priority would have been to discuss it with you.

There better be some BIG making up actions for this OP. Huge...

This is the way.

He's essentially let himself and your MIL name your daughter whilst you were really sick.

We had agreed on Emmeline.

@Lilysienna1, you had a difficult birth and spent 10 days in hospital … and he treats you with utter contempt by pulling a fast one with this stunt?? Stand your ground and don’t allow him (and MIL) to bully and undermine you.

Congratulations on Baby Emmeline! Her name is beautiful.

I agree about going for a neutral name, as both Georgina and Emmeline would remind you both about this incident and in a sense tainted. I can’t believe he did that though - the cheek!

I love the suggestion of Evangeline that someone posted earlier.

Very odd. He's decided to name her himself but you are calling her your baby not our baby.

Conversation needed!

It's very normal to change your mind about a name after the baby arrives. Sometimes babies just don't look like the name you imagined. I'm guessing he thought you'd probably be ok with Georgina because it was on your list, but he is so out of order to make that decision without discussing it with you, let alone telling people.

I think you're going to have to scrap both names (because he doesn't like Emmeline and Georgina is now ruined for you) and find a different one you both like.

I would not be using Georgina now, he can’t just change your babies name without telling you. If he doesn’t like Emmeline then it would have to be a third different name.

I super love Evangeline, have been naming one of my hypothetical twins I will never have Evangeline in my random musings.

He's out of order
Does he usually just defer to his mum? I couldn't see a way back from.this really

Hard to imagine someone capable of doing this and NOT generally being a dick in daily life. Good luck!

This does smack of MIL involvement. He probably said, we have a few names but not decided - and she then pressured him into choosing the one she liked. Is she quite overbearing? Also, he didn't tell your family... So not many people know yet. Just change it, to Emmeline or something else, no big deal.

I have a box full of new baby cards that say 'Welcome to the world Sophie', or 'Congratulations on the safe arrival of baby Sophie'. My daughter's name isn't Sophie - well it was, for about 2 days, but we (I) changed our minds as, although it had been our name of choice pre-birth, she just wasn't a Sophie. So nothing is set in stone and the confusion of any name change will soon be forgotten.

Hopefully your husband will realise that he's really overstepped here and you can both agree on a different name. As for the blanket - so what?!

Come up with a list of other names that rhyme with Lil.Bean.
Ditch Emmeline and Georgina.

If he doesn't like Emmeline what about Emmi?