My DH has changed my baby’s name….

[Lilysienna1]

… or at least, he’s TOLD everyone a different name. I’m pretty sure I am not being unreasonable. This is more of what would be a reasonable response. Because right now I’m ready to LTB.

I have recently given birth to our 3rd and final baby. I had a difficult birth, and have just got home from hospital after a 10 day stay.
As we did with previous births, we’ve not allowed any visitors and as I’ve been so unwell, I’ve actually only bothered with my
phone to snap a few photos, in between sleeping and feeding etc. Not announced the birth on social media, and only spoke with my mum and sisters.

I arrive home today and started opening cards and presents that family and friends (from DH side) have dropped round. All with congratulations on the birth of ‘Georgina.’

This would be lovely, if her name was Georgina. However, it isn’t or at least it wasn’t. We had agreed on Emmeline. Georgina was a top contender, but I just didn’t love it as much as Emmeline. DH had not expressed how much he loved the name Georgina - he was very much ‘I like all the names on the shortlist. You can choose.’ Which I did. Emmeline.

so of course, I confront him on it. We didn’t share any names with friends and family, so I knew they hadn’t just taken a wild guess. He looked a bit sheepish and said ‘I was going to tell you. I just don’t think I can imagine calling her Emmeline. Georgina is a better fit.’
Oh and ‘Everyone agrees’ he said. (his mum then basically)

‘I was going to tell you’ doesn’t really cut it here does it? I will admit neither of us were really using her name in the hospital, we were calling her ‘little bean’ which was a silly but sentimental name we had for her when she was just a bump. But of course I’ve said Emmeline a few times and I’m sure he has as well.

He said he was really sorry, but ‘everyone’ was asking for a name and he felt he had to make a decision (that we had already made) and so he ‘went with Georgina.’
He says he can understand why I am upset but as we both like Georgina, why can’t we use it. Seeing as she doesn’t ‘feel like an Emmeline.’

if this had been discussed, then sure, we both have to feel comfortable with the end name, but that decision can’t be with one parent alone, behind the other ones back. He says I was too unwell to really decide. Yes, I was unwell. But perfectly capable of a conversation.

oh and his mum has already ordered ‘Georgina’ a personalised baby blanket 🥴

Everything is heightened a million percent when you’re post partum. This is the kind of thing I’d have probably cried buckets about but under normal circumstances would just have shrugged off and gone ahead and done what needed to be done. I.e tell everyone your choice of name. He probably just thought he could convince you of his choice of name. Just tell him straight, set everyone else straight and enjoy your baby.

My grandad actually registered one of my Aunts with a different name than the one he and my grandma agreed on. They never changed it and my Aunt still has this random name her dad chose for her at the last minute. My grandparents are still together in their eighties now and my grandma tells it as a funny story but I imagine she was very angry at the time. She’s usually the one who makes decisions in their relationship as well so I don’t know what on earth came over him.

I worked with a woman for about 10 years, Jacqui. We had to take an international trip and it was my job to check us in, enter passport details etc.

When I opened her passport, her name was Jack.

She was quite tearful when she told me the story. Her dad was an alcoholic who wanted a son. He was hammered when he went to the registry office and registered her as a boy called Jack. They managed to get the sex changed but not her name, not sure why but this was the 50s and they were very poor. She should have been Patricia. I think her mum left soon after.

Well that was stupid of him.

However, no harm done yet - register her as Emmeline. Tell the family you've had a change of heart and decided Emmeline suits her better. Tell DH he can nickname to Emme (which I think it's lovely). Intrusive MIL will be put in her place and out of pocket as she won't be able to return a personalised blanket for a "Georgina". It's a win-win, as far as I'm concerned!

You'll tell your DD this story in 20 years' time laughing at your DH and the cards.

Emmeline is a beautiful name, one of my favourites. Congratulations on the birth of your DD ❤️

My ExH was extremely controlling. I don't like my children's names and it's a sadness which lingers.

And yes, I’ve only ever known 2 Georgina’s, both were shortened to George.

If OP wants to change from Emmeline, she should just choose something on her own. Her 'DH' has shown himself incapable of behaving like a rational and honest person on this issue (and I would put his trustworthiness and honesty generally under a question mark). He deliberately went against their agreement to try to manipulate her into changing the name by forcing the issue, having not even voiced a preference beforehand. He shouldn't be rewarded by having his dishonesty and manipulation succeed.

I much prefer Georgina. I get he shouldn't of gone around telling people a different name but maybe he really doe feel like she's a Georgina.

Can you use the quote function in future please. It's so much quicker than scrolling back to see what you're talking about. Thanks

Tell the family you've had a change of heart and decided Emmeline suits her better. Why do you want OP to cover for her DH? She hasn't had a change of heart. What happened is DH gave them the incorrect name. At most, he might pretend and cover up for himself; why should OP do so?

It's not a cover for anyone. She's recovering after a difficult birth. It's easier to say that and shut them down straightaway then say DH did it, it was stupid, we argued and now we changed to Emmeline. What purpose does this serve apart from unecessary waffle she'll receive in response, none. Be pragmatic.

Who gives a shit? Until he's the one who gestated the baby and had a very difficult birth, he can keep his gob shut.

The OP deserves as long as she need to recuperate after a difficult birth, and as long as she wants to decide on a name. If her gutless DH didn't like their agreed choice of Emmeline, he could have waited until she was feeling better and talked it over with her.

Georgina can never be OK now, because it's tainted with "that time your Daddy was a total twat."

(plus the Henrietta/Georgina "someone really wanted boys" thing)

Emmeline is a lovely name. Georgina was a lovely name, but now is just short for Her-DH-Is-A-Dickhead.

I'd be cross but I think Georgina is much nicer and goes well with Henrietta.

If you can't live with the name then go for something else rather than emmerline. Your do ob does not like Emmeline.

As for shortening nicknames. The Georginas I know are usually Gina or Ginny.

I was always puzzled that I have the same name as my cousin when we're less than a year apart (and I've never liked it!) but eventually I found out that my DF couldn't understand why my DM objected to using the same name her sister had just chosen so he just went off and registered me without telling her!

He expected her to be pleased that he used the name she wanted (and thought they'd agreed on) as a middle name and she thought she had no choice. When I found out I wanted to use my middle name but it was several years too late.

Just make sure that your beautiful baby has a name that you both love (which I'm guessing might possibly need to be a totally different one now 😂) and then she'll love it too!

I’d be very cross - can I suggest Genevieve as a middle ground. It has a feel of both.

If you've been so unwell you were in hospital for 10 days then I expect he's not really been in his right mind either! What he's done is silly and he's gone about it the wrong way, but it doesn't need to become a major problem.
Just sit down together and discuss names, find one you can both agree on. If it's Georgina leave it at that, if it's another name then announce the new name to everyone. (Doesn't matter who has ordered a personalised blanket!)

Edit to add - you will laugh about this in future!

Evangeline a compromise!

Woooah, that is bad. Sorry OP. Hopefully he sees the error of his ways and is very apologetic over the weekend.

Aah, so that's who we should be inviting to our parties! Seems obvious now you say it.

And the photos could be a lovely touch.

I can't believe anyone is making excuses for him. What he's done is really quite reprehensible.

Id be furious. Ten days on hospital is serious and he used it to get one over on you.

stick with Emmeline. Register her. I inteoduce her as emmeline. Correct anyone who calls her georgina.

What a crap situation. It seems unbelievable he would do this after you birthed his child.

Options are -

Agree to Georgina
Pick a new name
Go with Emiline

I'd be tempted to register the birth yourself and leave him off.!

I think you have every right to be annoyed but also you need to accept if he doesn't like the name Emmeline now for whatever reason.
Tell him that Georgina is not the name and you both need to choose a new one together

Brilliant 🤗

This comes across like he's a really controlling and sneaky man in general. He should have spoken to you first if he wasn't sure on her name.