My DH has changed my baby’s name….

[Lilysienna1]

… or at least, he’s TOLD everyone a different name. I’m pretty sure I am not being unreasonable. This is more of what would be a reasonable response. Because right now I’m ready to LTB.

I have recently given birth to our 3rd and final baby. I had a difficult birth, and have just got home from hospital after a 10 day stay.
As we did with previous births, we’ve not allowed any visitors and as I’ve been so unwell, I’ve actually only bothered with my
phone to snap a few photos, in between sleeping and feeding etc. Not announced the birth on social media, and only spoke with my mum and sisters.

I arrive home today and started opening cards and presents that family and friends (from DH side) have dropped round. All with congratulations on the birth of ‘Georgina.’

This would be lovely, if her name was Georgina. However, it isn’t or at least it wasn’t. We had agreed on Emmeline. Georgina was a top contender, but I just didn’t love it as much as Emmeline. DH had not expressed how much he loved the name Georgina - he was very much ‘I like all the names on the shortlist. You can choose.’ Which I did. Emmeline.

so of course, I confront him on it. We didn’t share any names with friends and family, so I knew they hadn’t just taken a wild guess. He looked a bit sheepish and said ‘I was going to tell you. I just don’t think I can imagine calling her Emmeline. Georgina is a better fit.’
Oh and ‘Everyone agrees’ he said. (his mum then basically)

‘I was going to tell you’ doesn’t really cut it here does it? I will admit neither of us were really using her name in the hospital, we were calling her ‘little bean’ which was a silly but sentimental name we had for her when she was just a bump. But of course I’ve said Emmeline a few times and I’m sure he has as well.

He said he was really sorry, but ‘everyone’ was asking for a name and he felt he had to make a decision (that we had already made) and so he ‘went with Georgina.’
He says he can understand why I am upset but as we both like Georgina, why can’t we use it. Seeing as she doesn’t ‘feel like an Emmeline.’

if this had been discussed, then sure, we both have to feel comfortable with the end name, but that decision can’t be with one parent alone, behind the other ones back. He says I was too unwell to really decide. Yes, I was unwell. But perfectly capable of a conversation.

oh and his mum has already ordered ‘Georgina’ a personalised baby blanket 🥴

That's so out of order. I can't believe there are men out there who do this kind of shit.

@Calliopespa 😂😂😂😂😂

Baby Germolene, hilarious!

It’s Emmeline not ‘Emma line’. You know? Like Emmeline Pankhurst, the world famous suffragette? It’s most definitely not made up any more than Georgina is. There’s an Emmeline in my DD’s school.

get her registered asap with a name you both agree on - or the name you both agreed on before he unilaterally changed it.

Make him tell his family. You carry on as though he'd never done it. Call him George. if he often does shit like this, reconsider if you want him in your life so much.

Obviously he can’t do that, you both decided on Emmeline, much nicer than Georgina! Just keep talking about Emmeline, every single time you talk about her.

MIL thinks £14.99 on a personalised baby blanket writes the name in stone. Point out that Emmeline/ Cecilia can’t read and you’ll happily use the blanket , thank you.

I did just laugh out loud at the bus stop at Germolene.

A friend of mine has a totally different name to the one her parents chose for her, because some drunk relative came round to wet the baby's head and toasted 'here's to our Susie' and they just went along with it and decided that had to be her name now.

Anyway, back to the OP: this was absolutely a dick move on your husband's part and I would certainly not be going along with it. I agree that Georgina is tainted at this point, even as a middle name.

I'd be livid if my DH did this! It would also prevent me from going with Georgina, even if i liked it.

I really think you need to go with Emmeline or another name... Unless you were going to pick G anyway, but it sounds like you weren't.

Btw, you're post partum so let him sort the conversations with his family. It took us, 1 min, 10 days and then 1 month to announce our children's names. No big deal.

Brotherstogether3

Emmeline is definitely a legitimate name! As in Pankhurst...

I'd put money om MIL not liking Emmeline and him caving like a wet weasel!

No way should you be backing down, OP. This is YOUR child - his families' opinions mean nothing.

He agreed on Emmeline, it's Emmeline.

Get yourself down the registrar's, ASAP!

you have to tell everyone it's not Georgina asap but don't feel bounced into saying what it is. Don't go with Emmeline if that is now spoiled for you (I don't care if he or MIL doesn't like it). just put a message out saying "Georgina was discussed but we have not decided what our baby's name is yet"

just put a message out saying "Georgina was discussed but we have not decided what our baby's name is yet"

Personally I would make that "we had decided against Georgina but DH inexplicably changed the baby's name back to it without consulting me. Obviously that will not be the baby's actual name" - since that is what happened.

This made me laugh!

May I ask, are DH and MIL from a culture where this would be expected and the norm (and te matriarch rules the son's roost?)

I do agree with PP that it was a dick move by dh, however mil is getting a hard time and some assumptions made about her which I don't think is necessarily fair.

FWIW I like both names !

At least the name isn’t registered so it’s easily fixable. A quick text to everyone and you’ll probably laugh about it in years to come.

It’s appalling behaviour. I’m guessing this isn’t the first time he’s out his mummy before you.

Register Emmeline and send out birth announcements.

I was very unwell after the birth of my son. Exh waited until the last day to register the birth, reason for this became clear when the birth register showed a name I had previously said 'no way in hell'. It was a name his mother had wanted to call him when he was born but the father refused! I used a shortened version of his name instead, which was also very uncommon. Think knights of the round table, but not Arthur!

Get to the registry office now - get a taxi if you have to and don’t tell him until you’ve registered it.

@MeridianB That was one thing that I think was upsetting: that friends and family had innocently sent cards congratulating OP on the birth of ‘Georgina’. I kept all such cards my DC got in a special box for them. Now the OP has all these cards to/for ‘Georgina’. Will the senders send out new ones? If not, Emmeline won’t have many cards as keepsakes, which is sad.

Why is this child classed as YOUR baby and not OUR baby, is he not the father, the one with equal rights?

It does depend on where you give birth, I was asked for my daughters name in the hospital just after she was born, for her wristband

how do you feel about him changing the name of this baby he has "equal" rights over? Equal, not sole naming rights.

Can "Cancel the blanket" become the new "Cancel the cheque" please? 😆

YANBU OP, what a very weird thing for him to do. I hope you make him squirm, at least a little bit, for being such a knob.

I know you didn't ask for alternative name suggestions, but what about Jemima?

Has both the Em sound and the J/G... so aspects of both names... just a thought.

@jollygreenpea but op said they decided emmeline together. Then he changed it when she was recovering from what sounds like a horrendous medical emergency birth to what he wanted. So how was he nit thenone shouting ‘my baby’!