My DH has changed my baby’s name….

[Lilysienna1]

… or at least, he’s TOLD everyone a different name. I’m pretty sure I am not being unreasonable. This is more of what would be a reasonable response. Because right now I’m ready to LTB.

I have recently given birth to our 3rd and final baby. I had a difficult birth, and have just got home from hospital after a 10 day stay.
As we did with previous births, we’ve not allowed any visitors and as I’ve been so unwell, I’ve actually only bothered with my
phone to snap a few photos, in between sleeping and feeding etc. Not announced the birth on social media, and only spoke with my mum and sisters.

I arrive home today and started opening cards and presents that family and friends (from DH side) have dropped round. All with congratulations on the birth of ‘Georgina.’

This would be lovely, if her name was Georgina. However, it isn’t or at least it wasn’t. We had agreed on Emmeline. Georgina was a top contender, but I just didn’t love it as much as Emmeline. DH had not expressed how much he loved the name Georgina - he was very much ‘I like all the names on the shortlist. You can choose.’ Which I did. Emmeline.

so of course, I confront him on it. We didn’t share any names with friends and family, so I knew they hadn’t just taken a wild guess. He looked a bit sheepish and said ‘I was going to tell you. I just don’t think I can imagine calling her Emmeline. Georgina is a better fit.’
Oh and ‘Everyone agrees’ he said. (his mum then basically)

‘I was going to tell you’ doesn’t really cut it here does it? I will admit neither of us were really using her name in the hospital, we were calling her ‘little bean’ which was a silly but sentimental name we had for her when she was just a bump. But of course I’ve said Emmeline a few times and I’m sure he has as well.

He said he was really sorry, but ‘everyone’ was asking for a name and he felt he had to make a decision (that we had already made) and so he ‘went with Georgina.’
He says he can understand why I am upset but as we both like Georgina, why can’t we use it. Seeing as she doesn’t ‘feel like an Emmeline.’

if this had been discussed, then sure, we both have to feel comfortable with the end name, but that decision can’t be with one parent alone, behind the other ones back. He says I was too unwell to really decide. Yes, I was unwell. But perfectly capable of a conversation.

oh and his mum has already ordered ‘Georgina’ a personalised baby blanket 🥴

Emmeline is such a nicer name anyway(no offence to any Georgina's) and way more bad ass.

Emmeline is a beautiful name.

Your husband and his mother can fuck right off.

You absolutely need to name her Emmeline now.

I would be insisting on marriage counseling after this. His behaviour is abhorrent.

When she grows up you can tell her the story of her beautiful name- and how it is a reminder to her to forge her own path and never let men take advantage of her.

Well that’s manipulative for one. Dick move for another. I don’t know how you’d go forward here. It sounds like he’s done this to get his way and it’s not an open discussion going forward so either you stick with Emmeline if that’s what you truly want or you go back to the drawing board. He absolutely has to tell his mother to cancel the blanket and exactly why.
I would be livid and so hurt: you spent 10 days in hospital which is a pretty big deal and put your body on the line and he can’t give you the bare minimum of respect here and let you be involved in naming the baby. I’d kick him out for the night actually, I’m getting more angry the more I think about it(!)

I hope you’re recovering well and little bean is doing well

We thought so. 🤗

😂

That was correct for me too : DH and my surname only, preceded by Baby

Oh and their birthweight!

It sounds like he’s done this to get his way

More likely done it to get his mother's way.

This is a MIL opportunity to name your baby. Did she have any girls? You may have accidentally stumbled on her favourite girls name.

If you are using real names in your OP, then as my DD1, 24, is named Emmeline, YADNBU! And even if you're weren't, you are still NBU. You really need to have some very firm words with your "D"H. 😡

This

To be completely honest, you come off as a bit hostile. Emmeline is very ‘out there’ name compared to a classy Georgina so I wonder if your DH couldn’t share with you how he felt about the name and thought that you come around to using Georgina? In the end, we only heard one side of the story.

if the name hasn’t been registered yet then you can proceed with whatever you want.

as to LTB - don’t forget you’re a bit hormonal now. So probably wait a bit to weigh all pros and cons. If he’s normally behaving like a dick then by all means.

Loads if opinions here and rightly so that most are saying it was wrong of your DH to announce a name without your consent. If it's any consolation I think Georgina is a far better name. Emmeline sounds like an antiseptic ointment.

I don't know why you're justifying any name choices or rationale. It's bat shit to choose a name and tell everyone, wtf?!

I think you’re thinking of Germolene - which ironically is a kind of hybrid of Georgina and Emmeline. ( Compromise OP?! )

I much prefer the latter of these two tbh. Both nice but not many names can withstand too much scrutiny. Georgina could quickly start to sound like “ George with a vagina” if you dwell too much on the negatives. I’d probably rather opt for the antiseptic cream association 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's not about the name, but the principle, the deceipt and the controlling behaviour.

"(d)H, every time I would use the name 'Georgina', it would remind me of how underhanded and sneaky you were and how you betrayed my trust when I was at my most vulnerable and still in hospital. We will not be using 'Georgina'. I don't care how you do it, but you'll have to let your family know you fucked up here and our daughter's name is 'X', which we both like, and not 'Georgina.'

Stand firm

Seriously? Blaming OP? Misogynistic twaddle, fuck that condescending shit with “You’re a bit hormonal.” He told everyone a name that was not agreed whilst the OP was recovering for 10 days in the hospital; we all know she must have been very unwell for that to happen. So he took advantage hoping she would just give up and let him have his own way once she found out.

And no, Emmeline is not out there or less “classy” than Georgina.

In your position Id be furious. Youve just given birth and dont need this drama. If you had already agreed the name and he went with the alternative when confirming her name to your f&fs then he has undermined you and disregarded your wishes. Id put people straight on the name you chose together.

@raspberryjuiceandpompoms To be completely honest, you come off as a bit hostile. Emmeline is very ‘out there’ name compared to a classy Georgina so I wonder if your DH couldn’t share with you how he felt about the name and thought that you come around to using Georgina? In the end, we only heard one side of the story

That’s all well and good, but if he felt this way, the correct way to go about it would NOT have been to act with stealth on another name, without agreement, and name the baby unilaterally and publicly in an obvious attempt to make OP just accept it rather than ‘causing a fuss’. Thats what he’s relying on. And you don’t think that’s a reason to be hostile? Wow.

@MrsElijahMikaelson1 i’ve given birth a few times so I know that ‘hormonal’ is not an understatement. So if you lack any self awareness and prefer to call in ‘misogynistic’ card that’s your problem. Looking at the way you write your posts we won’t come to an agreement. Neither do we need to. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Have a great day!

@HoppingPavlova again, we only heard one side of the story.

I would go with Emmeline Georgina surname.

He can call her Georgina and you Emmeline if he feels that strongly about it.

We have many friends in our culture who does this.

@Lilysienna1
I've only read the first and last pages of your post, so forgive me if someone has already mentioned this.......
I'm hoping that "Georgina" and "Emmeline" are fictitious names, although everyone is referring to them as if they are definitely real.
Only because the first thing I thought of when reading your post was that you will be easily recognisable if the names are in fact real.
Or am I being thick and missing something?

You say one person can’t decide the name then say you’re calling her Emmaline. If he’s saying he doesn’t like that name now then you’re doing to him exactly what he’s doing to you. Sit down together and pick a name you both like. Georgina is far nicer in my opinion. Emma line sounds made up and she’ll be forever spelling it out !

No . But all this drama over a baby. It's not even like OP has the excuse of it being a pfb.

What a dick!
'I was going to tell you later' is right up there with 'in my defence I wasn't planning on getting caught'.

So what if he's registered her birth. You can rename a baby within a year of her arrival, so get thee to the registrar's and if you have to pay because he's been a tool, so be it.