My DH has changed my baby’s name….

[Lilysienna1]

… or at least, he’s TOLD everyone a different name. I’m pretty sure I am not being unreasonable. This is more of what would be a reasonable response. Because right now I’m ready to LTB.

I have recently given birth to our 3rd and final baby. I had a difficult birth, and have just got home from hospital after a 10 day stay.
As we did with previous births, we’ve not allowed any visitors and as I’ve been so unwell, I’ve actually only bothered with my
phone to snap a few photos, in between sleeping and feeding etc. Not announced the birth on social media, and only spoke with my mum and sisters.

I arrive home today and started opening cards and presents that family and friends (from DH side) have dropped round. All with congratulations on the birth of ‘Georgina.’

This would be lovely, if her name was Georgina. However, it isn’t or at least it wasn’t. We had agreed on Emmeline. Georgina was a top contender, but I just didn’t love it as much as Emmeline. DH had not expressed how much he loved the name Georgina - he was very much ‘I like all the names on the shortlist. You can choose.’ Which I did. Emmeline.

so of course, I confront him on it. We didn’t share any names with friends and family, so I knew they hadn’t just taken a wild guess. He looked a bit sheepish and said ‘I was going to tell you. I just don’t think I can imagine calling her Emmeline. Georgina is a better fit.’
Oh and ‘Everyone agrees’ he said. (his mum then basically)

‘I was going to tell you’ doesn’t really cut it here does it? I will admit neither of us were really using her name in the hospital, we were calling her ‘little bean’ which was a silly but sentimental name we had for her when she was just a bump. But of course I’ve said Emmeline a few times and I’m sure he has as well.

He said he was really sorry, but ‘everyone’ was asking for a name and he felt he had to make a decision (that we had already made) and so he ‘went with Georgina.’
He says he can understand why I am upset but as we both like Georgina, why can’t we use it. Seeing as she doesn’t ‘feel like an Emmeline.’

if this had been discussed, then sure, we both have to feel comfortable with the end name, but that decision can’t be with one parent alone, behind the other ones back. He says I was too unwell to really decide. Yes, I was unwell. But perfectly capable of a conversation.

oh and his mum has already ordered ‘Georgina’ a personalised baby blanket 🥴

He's made a stupid decision and he knows it.

I'd look at your DD and test out names tgat suit her. Land on one the fits. If it's not Georgina, you could add Georgina as a middle name. If its not Emmilene, ypu could add that as a middle name.

I don't think she can be Georgina though unless it really suits her.

Ref registering the birth, you can change the name of he's already done this.

What a mess your dickh DH has made....

Mo, she cannot on principle. It is tainted now. I would not even permit it as a second name. Any time I saw it, I would be annoyed.

I love how Emmeline has the same rhythm as “little bean” and rhymes as well. ❤️

one of the main reasons for Georgina not making the Final Cut was because we BOTH had said, with our only other daughter being named Henrietta, it felt a bit like ‘they must have wanted sons then’… if that makes sense.

For what it’s worth anyone of a certain generation who read Enid Blyton would know Georgina and Henrietta were both girls who wanted to be boys and went by George and Henry!
However I know two Georginas - both use their full name almost always apart from one whose husband calls her Jeany

Appalling and selfish behaviour from your husband.

You can't call her Georgina, the name will always remind you of his arseholery and stressing you out as a mum of a newborn.

Yep. They will definitely end up as George and Henry. I think OP raises a valid point.

LOL. I was wondering if grandma was going to buy little bean a dog called Timothy.

I hadn't;t thought of this, but you are right.

Yep.

We had a bull terrier called Tara - Mr Viper picked it (it was his turn) and although I loved the dog I never liked the name and called her "Tazzie". But it will always be a dog's name to me.

Indeed.

Murder is so much less complicated.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he has overruled the name of a strong woman who fought for women’s rights, in favour of a feminised boy’s name.

The diplomatic approach suggested by a poster above (Emmeline Georgina will be called Emmeline) is probably the way forward. Husband moans, and you tell the whole truth, which is that he behaved in an underhand and controlling way while you were in hospital.

Get the birth registered together before he does it alone.

When I had ours the hospital just had their names on their wristbands as "Baby Viper" with the date, time, weight and sex

*He looked a bit sheepish and said ‘I was going to tell you. I just don’t think I can imagine calling her Emmeline. Georgina is a better fit.’
Oh and ‘Everyone agrees’ he said. (his mum then basically)

‘I was going to tell you’ doesn’t really cut it here does it? I will admit neither of us were really using her name in the hospital, we were calling her ‘little bean’ which was a silly but sentimental name we had for her when she was just a bump. But of course I’ve said Emmeline a few times and I’m sure he has as well.

He said he was really sorry, but ‘everyone’ was asking for a name and he felt he had to make a decision (that we had already made) and so he ‘went with Georgina.’
He says he can understand why I am upset but as we both like Georgina, why can’t we use it. Seeing as she doesn’t ‘feel like an Emmeline*

He wanted something, and his wishes are top priority for him, so when you were at your most vulnerable, he made sure he got it.

It's sneaky, underhanded, and not the actions of someone that can be trusted. He knows what he was doing and that thing about him caving in on everyone asking for a name is just nonsense - he took advantage and thinks he's played a trump card on you here. Dick.

Disgusting and purposely deceitful behaviour from your DH! I’d be absolutely furious! I’d be on the phone to every single person he’s told telling them that he said Georgina as a joke because you both hate the name.

He did this because he wanted to take advantage of your unwellness and get in there first with ‘his’ name which he knew you’d probably not like.

Do NOT give her Georgina as a middle name. That’s rewarding his deception. Personally I’d say that because of his nasty, dickish behaviour he’d now be having no say in the name at all whereas if he’d mentioned discussing names after she was born you’d have been happy to do so.

Emmeline is a much, much nicer name than Georgina, and you’re quite right about ‘Henrietta and Georgina’ sounding like you wanted a Henry and George. Henrietta and Emmeline is fine. Lots of possible nicknames like Hetty and Emmie or whatever.

Make sure you register the name asap and by yourself.

Forgot to say that he’s banking on you not making a fuss because he’s told ‘everyone’ now. Don’t let the sly bastard win and don’t give him an inch. I’d be sending him to spend a few days at his mothers where he can think about his twattishness and explain to his mum how he behaved and what your DD’s real name is.

@BreatheAndFocus

Make sure you register the name asap and by yourself

This, although I don't think it'll be the last of it. If he's that twatty, he will use Georgie or Georgina as their little nicknameand OP will be made to seem as if she's making a big fuss, as if she's the big bad woman who's being difficult or overdramatic.

And cheaper!😂

Yeah they don't put the baby's names on. Just the last name

I'd be absolutely furious!!! Be thankful that he hasn't actually registered the birth though!
Definitely don't go with Georgina because it would already be a bit off to you.
I agree with a pp, rename him Dick!

Baby Viper actually has quite a ring to it! 🐍

Easier said than done when you have 3 small children, one a new born and not so great after a long hospital stay. He shouldn’t be rewarded by having time off and abdicating his responsibilities.

just say, “that’s not her name and it never will be her name. If you don’t like Emmeline then we think again but she is not ever going to be a Georgina. I’ll leave you to tell everyone that you were mistaken. You prick

Did he ask the kid if she 'feels like a Georgina'?

How can she not 'feel' like an Emmeline?

My dad did this to me too, I NEVER went by the names he picked in my memory (although I'm sure his family always called me that, some of mams family who didn't see me often did too).

I feel embarrassed to admit but I only recently figured out he egotistically named me after himself (it wasn't super obvious like George and Georgina it was more like William and Sybil with the 'idea' both would have been Bill which never happened).

I always went by a completely unrelated nickname my mam used from her favorite book, at 18 legally changed it to the name I identify with.

He didn't 'win' just by being underhanded.

Sorry to hear you had a difficult birth. Hope it's all going well now.

How do you feel about the name emilina (I'm sure there are various spellings you could use). My daughter has one in her class and I've always thought was a beautiful name it is. It kind of meshes the two together and gives you the 4 syllables too.
Worth a thought.
Either the way, the name has to sit well with you first and foremost, never mind correcting other people, this is her name for life.

Good Luck!

OP my dad did this with me and I was a certain name for about ten days and when I came home he had registered me the name I am now. My brothers and mum and nana all called me that name and it got relegated to my middle name . My mum was really upset. I ended up calling my daughter that name. Stand your ground OP. My mum was pretty powerless and didn't fell able to stand up to my dad but that was 53 years ago. I hope you get your choice of name for your wee one. Men can be so thoughtless.

Yes I have had 3 and they refused to put anything but 'baby (mothers surname)', on the tag as its an identifier of which baby goes with which mother.

They refused to even use DH surname even though the kids all have his surname.

They don't put the first name on as its not their for sentimental reasons.