My DH has changed my baby’s name….

[Lilysienna1]

… or at least, he’s TOLD everyone a different name. I’m pretty sure I am not being unreasonable. This is more of what would be a reasonable response. Because right now I’m ready to LTB.

I have recently given birth to our 3rd and final baby. I had a difficult birth, and have just got home from hospital after a 10 day stay.
As we did with previous births, we’ve not allowed any visitors and as I’ve been so unwell, I’ve actually only bothered with my
phone to snap a few photos, in between sleeping and feeding etc. Not announced the birth on social media, and only spoke with my mum and sisters.

I arrive home today and started opening cards and presents that family and friends (from DH side) have dropped round. All with congratulations on the birth of ‘Georgina.’

This would be lovely, if her name was Georgina. However, it isn’t or at least it wasn’t. We had agreed on Emmeline. Georgina was a top contender, but I just didn’t love it as much as Emmeline. DH had not expressed how much he loved the name Georgina - he was very much ‘I like all the names on the shortlist. You can choose.’ Which I did. Emmeline.

so of course, I confront him on it. We didn’t share any names with friends and family, so I knew they hadn’t just taken a wild guess. He looked a bit sheepish and said ‘I was going to tell you. I just don’t think I can imagine calling her Emmeline. Georgina is a better fit.’
Oh and ‘Everyone agrees’ he said. (his mum then basically)

‘I was going to tell you’ doesn’t really cut it here does it? I will admit neither of us were really using her name in the hospital, we were calling her ‘little bean’ which was a silly but sentimental name we had for her when she was just a bump. But of course I’ve said Emmeline a few times and I’m sure he has as well.

He said he was really sorry, but ‘everyone’ was asking for a name and he felt he had to make a decision (that we had already made) and so he ‘went with Georgina.’
He says he can understand why I am upset but as we both like Georgina, why can’t we use it. Seeing as she doesn’t ‘feel like an Emmeline.’

if this had been discussed, then sure, we both have to feel comfortable with the end name, but that decision can’t be with one parent alone, behind the other ones back. He says I was too unwell to really decide. Yes, I was unwell. But perfectly capable of a conversation.

oh and his mum has already ordered ‘Georgina’ a personalised baby blanket 🥴

😂

@Woodenflooring disagree Robyn so much better.

Tara is pretentious/used as a dog’s name (one extreme or other).

If you and dh have different surnames, register her with your surname and change other children's to yours too if they have his

If you ever want your child to be taken seriously in life don’t do this.

@Tiredalwaystired

😂😂

I meant as a nickname at home because it’s cuter than Bean.

I like Emmeline too.

If I’m honest OP, Georgina sounds quite “heavy” on the George bit if you are trying to avoid sounding like you’ve used boys names as a rule. If you need to compromise, I think Georgiana and Georgia play down the George syllable and emphasise the softer syllables if you worry about the boys names aspect.

Georgette is a fabric. And there’s a good reason no-one has coined Georgetta - though it would have worked for George Jetson’s daughter: ( sing to Jetson’s theme tune: “Meet George Jetson! Meet Georgetta!” ). Or a cross between a courgette and some kind of pumpkin… Don’t do Georgetta!

Emmeline is absolutely dire. But you need to choose a name you both agree on. It was totally out of order of him to do what he did

I can’t actually believe what I’ve just read… how utterly disrespectful of him. I’m seething myself and he’s not even my “D”H.
Best he messages everyone with the name correction then. If anyone questions why then he can explain what he did.
I would also get my appointment with the registrar booked for as soon as possible and not tell him when it is. Go yourself and register her. He can’t be trusted.
And MIL can suck up the cost of having a new blanket made. That will teach her for adding her two cents where it neither belongs nor is welcome.

Edited to add: and I agree, Georgina is completely tainted for ever more. Whatever you agree on, do not let it be that. Even as a middle name.

I genuinely think it’s really lovely.

While Emmeline is far from unique, the OP should not have her baby's name dictated to her.

Curious about your other child's name as your naming game is strong.

This was my first thought and I thought I might just be being petty so very grateful to see I'm not the only one

Emmeline is beautiful

At this point he should be praying that he sees baby Emmeline more often than every other weekend. What he did was absolutely psychotic and he doesn’t deserve to make any decisions whatsoever

Start calling him by a different name from now onwards.

I’d refuse Georgina now just on principle and would be texting everyone. Sorry all, DH is a prick fool and our daughter is not called Georgina. Will be in touch when we have reached an agreement!!!

You both get to veto names you don't like. You don't like G, he doesn't like E, find a third name you both agree on.

Dh and I both made lists, swapped and crossed off anything we didn't like, then whittled down the remaining names.

Ok I don’t think this is LTb or go nuclear. He’s sheepish and apologetic and you agree that if he doesn’t love Emmiline you’ll go with something else. So now you need to discuss and agree on the new name. and if you decide on something else you just message everyone and tell them. Loads of people change their minds about names in the early days. I wouldn’t worry or get angry about this. Focus your energy on rest and baby

I’m absolutely cross on your behalf OP, and totally agree you need to change it to a name you are comfortable with as well. But don’t do any of the aggressive counter name-reveals suggested. This is your little girl’s debut into the world and you don’t want everyone to remember it for a bad-ass showdown and marital disharmony.

Just explain how you feel to DH, insist ( quietly and with him only) that you want to find a compromise and then announce it in a dignified and unified way : “ having now spent time with our gorgeous little girl, we have decided we both love the name Blotto, which is what we are calling her.” Or similar. Let the fuss be forgotten.

I would be firm with him now in regards to his family: he needs to tell them NOW that he got misspoke/forgot in the excitement/sleep deprivation, and that an agreement over the new baby's name hasn't been reached or finalised yet. The baby's name is not Georgina and will not be Georgina, as his beloved wife doesn't like the name enough for the baby. Updates will be provided when an agreed upon name has been reached.

Essentially, he needs to take and accept responsibility for his behaviour, and agree to go back to the drawing board WITH you about a name you can both agree on.

Yes. Tastes vary in names. But that's why they need to choose a name they both agree on. But OP has a right to be furious. Not at the choice of name but the way her DH went about it.

Choose another first name that you BOTH agree on, second name Emmeline.

Tell him he's on a final warning for such behaviour.

Tell everyone what a knob he is.

Leave him if he undermines and excludes you again.

I wouldn’t go with Georgina even if you decide not Emmeline either. You will always think this is how she got her name and likely resent it.
He is an ah for sure and Emmeline is a much nicer name.

My nephew started off with one name and after a few weeks his parents realised they didn’t actually like it that much and sealed it with his middle name. No big deal.

just put both names on the register and when she’s older she can choose which one to use.

my FIL goes by his middle name.

my DS has a foreign and a uk version of his name and different people use either.

@GooseClues

Harsh.

why do MN always jump to divorce over everything.

This (your husband) is batshit.

As mother to our 5m old DD Emmeline, I’d be getting down that registry office faster than you can say ‘LTB’.