Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

he is fuming & broke up with me

220 replies

AIBUfolk · 10/03/2024 23:03

My partner has just broken up with me. I can understand why he is annoyed but to break up with me?

He owed his cousin £50 from earlier today (it's not that he didn't have money they were out together and he forgot his wallet at home) this cousin of his and i do not get along what's so ever. We haven't spoke in years, she makes my blood boil and I know I make hers boil too. We had a run in years ago and she attacked me , long story short she's an animal. His cousin and him are very close , he would class her more as a sister.

ANYWAY, dp had asked me if he gave me her bank details would i bank her £50 and he would give me it cash as his online banking was down , I said no 1000x as i hate her too much I don't want my name on her transactions. I'm well aware I sound petty but I'm sure she would hate to see my name also. I gave in but I popped in the reference as "forced transaction" and sent the money, DP was absolutely furious, shouted at me that were done and stormed off too bed.

I'm well aware this all sounds childish and petty. But he knows we can't stand each other. The transaction wasn't exactly forced but if I hadn't of done it I would of had to of listen to dp cry 🙄 the "forced translation" was definitely me being smart as I just can't with this woman, I can't be bitter enough.

I just hope the bank doesn't pick up the reference it won't look to good...

OP posts:
TwylaSands · 10/03/2024 23:06

Be glad the relationship is over. Start a new relationship with someone who wont prioritise a cousin who attacked you. they sound rough as toast.

Toooldforthis36 · 10/03/2024 23:06

How childish all of you sound..

Spirallingdownwards · 10/03/2024 23:06

You acted in a childish and petty way towards someone he classes as a sister and therefore it is no wonder he has decided to call it a day.

ExtraOnions · 10/03/2024 23:06

All sounds pathetic ….

OldTinHat · 10/03/2024 23:08

You had an opportunity to be the 'better person' but you blew it, basically. He will always put family first and you're being an obstacle.

SeulementUneFois · 10/03/2024 23:08

TwylaSands · 10/03/2024 23:06

Be glad the relationship is over. Start a new relationship with someone who wont prioritise a cousin who attacked you. they sound rough as toast.

Edited

This OP.

TeaKitten · 10/03/2024 23:09

You sound like teenagers, which I guess you may well be. Move on with your life and be glad this one is over OP. Work on being less childish in future

StopTheBusINeedAWeeWeeAWeeWeeBagOChips · 10/03/2024 23:09

How long have you and your partner been together? And how old are you all?

I would expect more maturity from my 13yo and her friends tbh.

How often are you looking at your bank transactions that seeing a name will piss you off?

You're maybe all better off out the situation.

Original poster
AIBUfolk · 10/03/2024 23:09

I 100% see why this is childish and pathetic but I live my life pretending this woman doesn't exist , I've seen her in public lots of times I walk straight past as if I've never seen her in my life, she gets her children to shout abuse at me... we're different. Dp is well aware I pretend she doesn't exist so he shouldn't even bother asking me to bank her money.

OP posts:
Iaminthefly · 10/03/2024 23:10

You all sound like a bunch of absolute children.

RightOnTheEdge · 10/03/2024 23:12

He did the right thing dumping you, and you are better off out of it.
It was never going to be anything but toxic.

SleepingStandingUp · 10/03/2024 23:12

You sound like teenagers. You didn't want to do your partner a favour because it involved someone you didn't like, bit you've chosen to stay in the relationship knowing how close they are. And he would have literally cried of you said no, even though he could have just got her cash tomorrow. You put a silly comment which you knew she'd then react to putting him in the middle.

Neither of you sound old enough for a relationship

Lifebeganat50 · 10/03/2024 23:13

Sounds like he had a sense check

Topseyt123 · 10/03/2024 23:14

It's all very school playground really I suppose.

I get why you didn't want to do it though as there's such a personality clash. I'd probably have questioned why he couldn't wait until his own online banking was up and running again to pay her himself. I wouldn't have been keen to make the payment myself. Surely it wasn't so urgent that it had to be done right that minute. It could have waited until tomorrow (probably ) for him to do it himself.

BobbyBiscuits · 10/03/2024 23:14

She attacked you? Physically? No wonder you don't want to deal with her. Let him hang out with his cousin who attacks people. They're welcome to eachother.

Isittimeformynapyet · 10/03/2024 23:15

"I 100% see why this is childish and pathetic"

So let it go then, obviously.

ThinWomansBrain · 10/03/2024 23:15

I don't understand why your partner doesn't have a bank account.

Fortitudinal · 10/03/2024 23:15

You should have just refused. Nothing to do with you.

Be glad this trash fire of a relationship is done with.

DetOliviaBenson · 10/03/2024 23:16

AIBUfolk · 10/03/2024 23:09

I 100% see why this is childish and pathetic but I live my life pretending this woman doesn't exist , I've seen her in public lots of times I walk straight past as if I've never seen her in my life, she gets her children to shout abuse at me... we're different. Dp is well aware I pretend she doesn't exist so he shouldn't even bother asking me to bank her money.

He knows that cousin attacked you (I'm assuming physically?) previously, shouts verbal abuse at you in public, and he's so close to her she's like a sister to him? Yeah, I'm gonna say you're much better off without this prick. Let him leave.

OP are you sure he's not shagging this "cousin who is like a sister"?

Outlookmainlyfair · 10/03/2024 23:16

I think you are getting a hard time here. Be glad it is over!

DetOliviaBenson · 10/03/2024 23:16

ThinWomansBrain · 10/03/2024 23:15

I don't understand why your partner doesn't have a bank account.

She never said he doesn't have a bank account she said his online banking was down.

Aquamarine1029 · 10/03/2024 23:16

The universe is celebrating your break up, and you should, too. Your relationship was shit from top to bottom.

LondonTraveller · 10/03/2024 23:16

I'd be concerned about an investigation by your bank with a referenced like that.

Testina · 10/03/2024 23:16

You were being absolutely ridiculous.

There’s a whole side issue of whether he should stay in contact with someone who behaves towards you like that, but I’m not sure it’s that relevant. He wasn’t asking you to do anything for her, it was for him.

I might even be able to get behind you refusing. I mean, I think that would be stupid too, but I’d understand the motivation even if I didn’t agree.

But the “forced transaction” bollocks.

I’d love it if you bank contacted you and you had to explain you were a dick.

Anyway, it sounds like the right ending all around so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Cherrysoup · 10/03/2024 23:16

Chav-tastic! Why did you stay with someone who hangs round with a woman who assaulted you?