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AIBU?

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Original poster

he is fuming & broke up with me

220 replies

AIBUfolk · 10/03/2024 23:03

My partner has just broken up with me. I can understand why he is annoyed but to break up with me?

He owed his cousin £50 from earlier today (it's not that he didn't have money they were out together and he forgot his wallet at home) this cousin of his and i do not get along what's so ever. We haven't spoke in years, she makes my blood boil and I know I make hers boil too. We had a run in years ago and she attacked me , long story short she's an animal. His cousin and him are very close , he would class her more as a sister.

ANYWAY, dp had asked me if he gave me her bank details would i bank her £50 and he would give me it cash as his online banking was down , I said no 1000x as i hate her too much I don't want my name on her transactions. I'm well aware I sound petty but I'm sure she would hate to see my name also. I gave in but I popped in the reference as "forced transaction" and sent the money, DP was absolutely furious, shouted at me that were done and stormed off too bed.

I'm well aware this all sounds childish and petty. But he knows we can't stand each other. The transaction wasn't exactly forced but if I hadn't of done it I would of had to of listen to dp cry 🙄 the "forced translation" was definitely me being smart as I just can't with this woman, I can't be bitter enough.

I just hope the bank doesn't pick up the reference it won't look to good...

OP posts:
Valencia8 · 11/03/2024 01:31

By god what’s wrong with ejits that think they’re so funny “what in the Jeremy Kyle is this” by Billiee and “it did, thats why it’s here instead” by MonsteraMama, that’s why you’re here I guess MonsteraMama?, you guys are the type of people that make things into a Jeremy Kyle situation. Either be nice or don’t comment, pretty simple mate. Shout out to all those people who commented something hurtful or witty, you all come across as people who have nothing better to do than to make drama.

AlwaysTheRenegade · 11/03/2024 02:14

If she's like his sister, closer than cousins, he obviously trusts her judgements and views on your relationship. Sounds like she's a listening ear for him when you have a row. She will be in your life if you're with him, so I guess you have only two choices, break up, or accept his sister/ cousin doesn't like you. Sounds so brutal.

If you both love him surely you could try and get on, or at least say hello? I'd be so, so upset if my cousin (also like a sibling) hated my boyfriend.

I don't envy your situation at all, but I think when you start doing childish shit with writing silly things on your banking reference, who's happy? He's not, I'm assuming she's not (or she'll just think you're immature and silly, she's not going to get in trouble for that,either but your bf could, he asked and trusted you to just pay her back, then you've said you were forced to pay back his money)

Nonewclothes2024 · 11/03/2024 02:23

Lots of 'would of' 'should of' Confused
WOULD HAVE.
SHOULD HAVE
COULD HAVE

You all sound 12.

thebestinterest · 11/03/2024 02:56

You need to GROW UP.

why would you write “forced transaction”? you come off as ridiculously childish, tbh.

sounds like you’d both be happier separated, as he’s close with a family member you seem to despise so much.

HollyKnight · 11/03/2024 04:40

I don't know why he couldn't have just paid her back in cash another time. I think he's fucking with you.

AgentJohnson · 11/03/2024 04:59

Hopefully, you will take this opportunity to distance yourself from all of them. Your DP sounds like a child and you don’t seem to be able to say no to him.

I bet he comes crawling back demanding an apology from you, which you should thank him for doing the very thing you should have done.

PrinceLouisWeirdFinger · 11/03/2024 05:08

Ignore the grammar police. Everyone knows exactly what you mean. Make sure you get your £50 back and move one.

Shiningout · 11/03/2024 05:11

Valencia8 · 11/03/2024 01:31

By god what’s wrong with ejits that think they’re so funny “what in the Jeremy Kyle is this” by Billiee and “it did, thats why it’s here instead” by MonsteraMama, that’s why you’re here I guess MonsteraMama?, you guys are the type of people that make things into a Jeremy Kyle situation. Either be nice or don’t comment, pretty simple mate. Shout out to all those people who commented something hurtful or witty, you all come across as people who have nothing better to do than to make drama.

OK I think we get your point, what would you like a round of applause for being so 'nice'?! Why do you keep quoting users names and repeating their comments... Everyone here can read you don't need to keep repeating everything.

Trulyme · 11/03/2024 05:18

I would break up with you too if I was him.

You weren’t lending her money, you were lending him money but his online banking wasn’t working, so had to go through her.

She was kind enough to lend him the money without question and it’s very childish and nasty of you to not want to pay her back and then act like your own DP forced you to give him money, like you’re being financially abused.

I’d love to hear her side of this story.

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/03/2024 05:42

Trulyme · 11/03/2024 05:18

I would break up with you too if I was him.

You weren’t lending her money, you were lending him money but his online banking wasn’t working, so had to go through her.

She was kind enough to lend him the money without question and it’s very childish and nasty of you to not want to pay her back and then act like your own DP forced you to give him money, like you’re being financially abused.

I’d love to hear her side of this story.

Her side of the story from what op has said is that she hates op for being with her cousin. This led to abusive behaviour including physically attacking op twice.

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/03/2024 05:44

Oh and op you are so much better out of this. You have a child or children. They deserve to live in a calm environment, where their mum is respected and protected. It is disgusting your ex put his relationship with his cousin above your safety.

shoppingshamed · 11/03/2024 05:59

Online banking being down sounds very suspect to me, are you sure that's true. Does he mean that his banks systems had totally failed? Did you Google to check, that kind of failure is usually newsworthy

BlastedPimples · 11/03/2024 06:17

I don't think you should have backed down and transferred the money.

Your instinct to have absolutely nothing to do with this woman was right. Don't ignore your instincts next time.

That now includes your ex partner who doesn't seem to care that she has attacked you and continues to abuse you.

You are so well rid of these people.

Hold your ground and do not reconcile with this bloke who does not prioritise you at all.

I bet you don't get your money back either.

Autienotnaughtie · 11/03/2024 06:18

Firstly whey is he so close to someone who attacked you? He should have cut ties.

Secondly why is he involving you and not listening when you say no?

He doesn't respect you. Don't take him back

Beautiful3 · 11/03/2024 06:25

I wouldn't have sent it. Why couldn't he send it from his phone? Honestly I think you're best off out of it all.

RiderofRohan · 11/03/2024 06:25

Cherrysoup · 10/03/2024 23:16

Chav-tastic! Why did you stay with someone who hangs round with a woman who assaulted you?

That was my first thought. All sounds very 'Little Britain' and childish.

So it's just normal for someone to attack another woman? DH would would cut ties with anyone who lay a finger on me, family or not.

It seems like you live a normalised life of toxicity. The breakup is for the best.

VestibuleVirgin · 11/03/2024 06:33

Does your local have a flat roof?

Ohhbaby · 11/03/2024 06:38

Ehh, what did I just read. I sometimes forget how dysfunction some people /relationships are.

pictoosh · 11/03/2024 06:42

'Forced transaction'
Whatever has gone on, that was childish and provocative.

Don't know what else to say.

Ilovelurchers · 11/03/2024 06:45

Some disgusting class prejudice on this thread which I have reported - I have no idea what lives some of you lead that you consider this kind of abuse acceptable.

Whatever you think of OP's actions, to use disgusting phrases like "chav", and references to Jeremy Kyle etc is horrific. Her class (or the assumption you have made about it) has no bearing on her actions, and I'm sickened that you think you can abuse her like this because you think she is poorer than you.

If anyone looks infantile and stupid on this thread it isn't OP.

golf7 · 11/03/2024 06:45

Couldn't the cousin have waited a few mins / hrs for her 50 pound drug money . Sounds like u are best off out of it

VeryStressedMum · 11/03/2024 06:53

Forget the money £50 is cheap to get away from that family.
She attacked you and verbally abused you and your partner prioritises her over you.
Time to wake up

Cherrysoup · 11/03/2024 06:57

Ilovelurchers · 11/03/2024 06:45

Some disgusting class prejudice on this thread which I have reported - I have no idea what lives some of you lead that you consider this kind of abuse acceptable.

Whatever you think of OP's actions, to use disgusting phrases like "chav", and references to Jeremy Kyle etc is horrific. Her class (or the assumption you have made about it) has no bearing on her actions, and I'm sickened that you think you can abuse her like this because you think she is poorer than you.

If anyone looks infantile and stupid on this thread it isn't OP.

Yet I wasn’t referring to the OP. Obviously.

Evaka · 11/03/2024 07:09

Nonewclothes2024 · 11/03/2024 02:23

Lots of 'would of' 'should of' Confused
WOULD HAVE.
SHOULD HAVE
COULD HAVE

You all sound 12.

This is really unpleasant. You know what the OP means. Are you perfect?

Pluviophile1 · 11/03/2024 07:09

She's a big part of his life, you and her can't stand eachother. The relationship between you and him was never going to be on solid ground.