Hiding from uninvited guests

[CrazyCatMom]

My mom texted me today to let me know that her sister and brother-in-law (my aunt and uncle) are visiting today (they live approx. 3hrs away) as it is Mother’s Day tomorrow and they want to see my Grandmother.

I live round the corner from mom, and she said they are likely to want to “pop in” and say hello to me too.

Context: I am 39 weeks pregnant, husband is at work and I have a blissful day planned of playing videogames and eating my weight in custard creams.

So I have moved my car off the drive (to a nearby side road), closed the curtains and locked the doors and will be pretending to be “out” until I am sure they have left!

Ok 🤷🏼‍♀️

Sounds fair enough.

Or could you reply to say that you don’t really want anyone popping in today?

Can’t believe you actually went to the effort of moving your car to hide from relatives.

This is seemingly total normal behaviour on mumsnet where no doubt you’ll get replies applauding your boundaries.

In real life it’s a batshit reaction.

Weird , rude and unkind

You are 39 weeks pregnant!! You could go into labor any time now! How rude that anyone thinks they could just DROP IN. uggh. I would have just told your mother NOPE not happening I am resting, instead of going and moving my car. Enjoy your custard creams, loved dipping mine in either really hot milky tea or a big glass of milk. Sadly, no custard creams in the Dominican Republic where I now live :(

Why hide in your own home? Can't they be told it's inconvenient?

No need to do that, just tell them you can't be bothered. Trust me, anyone with a microgram of self respectt would never bother you again.

Do it and enjoy your day guilt free!! This might be your last chance for a while.

That's hilarious.

I'm totally with you on this. Visitors are not always welcome, and people always assume that you'll be chuffed to see them.

I used to do this when I had my first baby. MIL was turning up unannounced every single day so I just shut the curtains and locked the doors. She still used to come and knock though!!

Or just reply to your Mum and say you have other plans but hope to catch up with them next time they are down.

I agree. This is weird. Just say you're not up to visitors today.

That’s really juvenile, OP. Just tell your mother to say you’re not up for visitors and to say hi. Or message or call them yourself. It really doesn’t need to be this complicated!

I hear you and that sounds like my immediate reaction. It might be less stressful for you to just pop over to your granny's house for an hour to see them and then get back to your relaxing day. If they didn't live 3 hours away i’d sack them off too so totally ssrr your point but getting it done might be best all round!

That's what I'd do.

Oh god my mum brought two of her mates round that l had never met when l was already overdue - did my head in when l was trying to enjoy my last few days of freedom!

I get it. Im Guessing ops gone to this effort to hide because she knows her family and they are likely to push and poke untill she gives it.

Let the heavily pregnant lady enjoy her day is peace.

Already popped round to Nan’s house this morning to give her cards and flowers as she doesn’t want to bother me tomorrow when she is hoping DH will be spoiling me 🥹 (she has far higher expectations of him than I do lol)

I don't think it's batshit as some pp have suggested, I'd totally do this and have done similar in the past! It's rude for anyone to just pop in when they're not invited. You have the inconvenience of someone sitting in your house for however long they feel like and you are obliged to host them, make small talk and, offer drinks etc. I especially wouldn't appreciate it at 39 weeks pregnant. Enjoy your custard creams in peace op.

Yanbu. You probably feel obligated by your mum as they are making a journey of a trip. I would hate this and definitely pretend to not be home. Am the typical MN who hates unexpected guests. In fact I remember my own dm doing this too. She worked hard and long days and we had a few Elder relatives who thought it was some honour if they popped by. They had to ring at the main gate and we would just never answer.

I’d have done the exact same mate. Not sure about your family but even if I told mine I wasn’t up to it, they’d still “pop in quickly” anyway. (It was never a “pop” more like me running round doing cups of tea and biscuits for the whole family, then leaving me with a pile of washing up after they’ve finally left 3 hours later)

To not want unexpected guests is OK but to not just say that seems bonkers to me. Also if they live 3 hours away would it be so inconvenient to just have a cuppa with them, if you don't want them at yours, could you just offer to pop to your mums and grans and have a quick brew with them there or in a nearby cafe, so you can limit your time and still have the rest of your day to yourself?

If they are family that you don't care for then just say you have planned some self care and aren't available for guests.

So you just say you’re not up for visitors? It is completely batshit to be so incapable of communicating directly with friends or family that you draw your curtains and move your car to pretend you’re away,.

Bit mean. Can see why you would want to but most folk wouldn't actually do this.

Yes but that depends on your family. I have said no to my family before but they still turned up because they knew better and continuously knocked on the door until it was opened. Sometimes it's easier to pretend you aren't in.