Hiding from uninvited guests

[CrazyCatMom]

My mom texted me today to let me know that her sister and brother-in-law (my aunt and uncle) are visiting today (they live approx. 3hrs away) as it is Mother’s Day tomorrow and they want to see my Grandmother.

I live round the corner from mom, and she said they are likely to want to “pop in” and say hello to me too.

Context: I am 39 weeks pregnant, husband is at work and I have a blissful day planned of playing videogames and eating my weight in custard creams.

So I have moved my car off the drive (to a nearby side road), closed the curtains and locked the doors and will be pretending to be “out” until I am sure they have left!

Typical MN weirdness.

And as far as support from family etc goes, my immediate family all live within 300 yards of me. I have a good friendship group and very close to my Dad’s siblings/their children. Think DH and I will be ok 👌🏻

Bit of a drip feed to make yourself look better.
Standard.

Although your dad also hides from people.

OMG this is sooo me, well done OP👏🤣🤣

I too was going to posts about the "drip feed"

OP, your "uncle looking at your breasts the last time you saw him." why did you not say b4??

Is this weird?

Not where I'm from.

Well done OP on moving your car.

I used to hate it when people would just drop in. I never answer my door unless it's planned, or it's a delivery person.

I like my peace and doing my own thing.

Nothing wrong with it OP.

I wonder about this where I'm from thing.
Betting that the Northern people are the more hospitable ones.

Well done you! I'd do the same (and have done in the past). I hate people dropping in and just assuming you're happy to see them. I've certainly got up and moved to the back of the house sometimes when I've seen friends/relatives cars pull up outside. Is it really so hard for people to actually contact in advance and make a mutually convenient time to call rather than assuming I've nothing better to do!

I do the same at work too! Get so fed up of people "popping" in to our office instead of making appointments. Sometimes I just close the blinds and turn off the lights and just enjoy some quality time actually doing work rather than having to break off for people who just have a "quickie" question. Even worse are the ones who pop in despite clearly seeing I'm already sat at my desk talking to clients - they don't seem to understand that they're interfering and disturbing a pre-booked meeting, not to mention complete loss of confidentiality.

Well what would you do if you were desperate for a well deserved day to yourself? Why should we put others before ourselves all the time to be polite?

Crack on. I would do the same with the back story. Enjoy!

I’d do the same and I’m not any weeks pregnant, just an unsociable so and so. Glad you got your restful day.

My family have a pretty hands off approach. Want to all every day ok sure someone will chat about mundane shit. Don’t talk for six months that’s cool. But if someone needs you we will drop everything. Need to leave work to grab a siblings child cool. Siblings partner in hospital when do you need a lift let me know.

but we don’t need to pop in for coffee catch ups to be able to help one another.

Absolutely not unreasonable. Genius move moving the car.

When you’re 39 weeks pregnant it’s a case of whatever works for you. Yanbu.

I normally just close the blinds and hope they assume I've gone out on foot, couldn't be bothered to go to the effort of moving the car but props to you for going all out 😂

As a child, my dad hid under the table when people came in. Don’t blame him. I’d do the same as the OP, tho I don’t think I’m brave enough. My mum is the absolute opposite, hugely sociable, thinks everyone should have anyone round at any time, tried to forever put me on the phone to her friends when I still lived at home. Drove me nuts.

@LadyNijo

happy with my own little family’
gets into pyjamas as soon as in from work daily
visitors require 48 hours’ notice to make house ‘visitor-ready’
obsession with cleaning
friends are ‘too much drama’
no middle ground between chronic, secretly resentful people-pleasing and exploding, followed by ‘going NC’
school run regarded with horror
School WhatsApp groups regarded with horror
play dates regarded with horror
social invitations regarded with horror
wedding invitations regarded as acts of war

A bit of a derail but this is so so spot on. I don’t think the OP is wrong particularly but I find this pathologising of normal social activity so so fucked up. Deep rooted anxiety driven, phobic and antisocial behaviour being passed off as being an “introvert”.

There’s a special place in hell for the “happy with my own little family” people. All sleepwalking to a lonely middle age but under a cloak of smug ignorance.

Yup, this.

You are being incredibly rude and childish.

I get it.

Enjoy your custard creams!

Because that wasn't the main reason she didn't want to see them.

She planned a day to herself and took the path of least resistance to get it. OP does not have to give a reason for why she doesn't want visitors, "because I want a day on my own" is perfectly reasonable.

If you drop in on people unannounced and don't know when to leave then be aware that if some of the people you rudely do this to are never home it probably means they're hiding from you. If you don't have the manners to ask rather than impose yourself then you're probably not great at taking no for an answer so they hide rather than have the argument.

Spot on

You’re probably right on average but I’m northern and I would totally do this, and so would the rest of my immediate family 😂

I would’ve done exactly the same, pregnant or not. I have plenty of days when I need to be in hiding, so I get it.