Hiding from uninvited guests

[CrazyCatMom]

My mom texted me today to let me know that her sister and brother-in-law (my aunt and uncle) are visiting today (they live approx. 3hrs away) as it is Mother’s Day tomorrow and they want to see my Grandmother.

I live round the corner from mom, and she said they are likely to want to “pop in” and say hello to me too.

Context: I am 39 weeks pregnant, husband is at work and I have a blissful day planned of playing videogames and eating my weight in custard creams.

So I have moved my car off the drive (to a nearby side road), closed the curtains and locked the doors and will be pretending to be “out” until I am sure they have left!

Could you not have stuck to your guns and ignored the doorbell?!! I’d be quite prepared to do that, but I would say before that I wasn’t feeling up to having visitors - I wouldn’t say nothing and then pretend to be out.

I hate unexpected visitors SO much. YANBU. I hope you've enjoyed your day!

I’ve done this with my in laws, when DD was a baby, I was on Maternity leave and we lived in a Market town where a market was held every Thursday and because I was at home they would call in every week for a cuppa and sit there for hours. They were lovely but not great at conversation. One particular day DD had just gone to sleep when I heard their car turn in off the main road earlier than normal, I usually had an hour or so of peace before they arrived and I just couldn’t be bothered. popped dd into her buggy and wheeled her into the downstairs bathroom extension and hid there until they’d gone.

For family that live so far away it's a shame you can't spare an hour. We are all so keen to isolate ourselves these days and then struggle without support. Unless there is some backstory and they are ghastly.

But it won’t be just an hour - I imagine the OP would feel obliged to be ready/on standby until they’ve been, and we’ve no idea how long they would stay. What’s wrong with her stance? . I’ve no idea why visitors seem to have more rights than the person they’re visiting!!!

Who assumes they can just drop in on a heavily pregnant woman? It's so presumptuous.

I'm not a fan of dropper-inners at the best of times but in your position it would be a flat no.

I wouldn't have bothered moving my car, I would have just told your Mum to tell them you were ill.

Just hell no, all round.

Why not say you only had 20 mins to spare but would pop round to hers to see them. I don’t understand why people are so rude on mumsnet to family and friends. Then they post saying they don’t have any friends and you are like yep I get it. Sure everyone here will think this is totally normal though

The people who dont understand this are the kind of people op and others hide from!

Because she doesn't want to. She had different plans for today. Why is that so hard to understand?

Enjoy your me time. Absolutely fine to do what you have done. Might seem a bit odd but some relatives just don't get the message otherwise.

So amused by this. I'm 38 weeks pregnant and would do exactly the same. Well done for thinking of it! 😁

Wow. I'll bet you won't reject any gifts they might get your new baby once it's born though... 🙄

Why not say you've already got plans for the day but they're welcome to pop in for a quick cuppa?

YABU for admitting to drinking milky tea 🤢 Nothing worse than being desperate for a cuppa only to be presented with a cup filled with what can only be described as pond water. If you can’t stand your spoon up in it, it’s not strong enough! 😂

Would-be visitors can't demand visitation rights, the person being visited also has rights. I'm 100% with OP for pretending to be out and avoiding these uninvited visitors. She's 39 weeks pregnant and having one of her last free days before the 24 hour infant care starts, the relatives should be thinking of her, not themselves.

I wish I'd thought to do the same when I was 41 weeks pregnant (with a 9lb 7oz baby!) and my in-laws dropped by. They had been explicitly told that I didn't want visitors because I was very uncomfortable, hot (middle of a heatwave) and grumpy and just wanted to relax, watch TV and eat ice lollies.

But they knew better apparently and didn't want me to be alone so came round anyway. Which meant I had to get properly dressed, make drinks and entertain them for ages until my partner got home from work.

I love them but I've never really forgiven them 😆

My in-laws came round for a cup of tea when I was in labour! I had to get up and go to the kitchen for each contraction. Still didn't get the hint!

Love this 😂 !! At 39 weeks pregnant , anything goes !!! Enjoy your day in hiding .

And you didn’t say ‘I’m in labour, not feeling like a chat’?

Holy hell 😂

Custard creams!? Ffs break out the chocolate hobnobs!

Brilliant. YANBU!!!

@LadyNijo I wanted to see how long it would take before they would decide to go. A kind of social experiment I guess. Took about 20 mins from memory

I'd have thought it was pretty unfair, but now I have a toddler I think that taking the opportunity to eat biccies and game is bloody genius!! Sounds like you're aware they you don't the same opportunity again for a loong time 😂

I have also done this to avoid a drop in from SIL. I am too anxious to tell someone not to visit, just easier to pretend I was elsewhere.

I did spend the entire night stressing though and felt ridiculous when I went to get my car after. (Parked at local shops)

Starting to understand all the posts when the op says they have no family or friends when it's an emergency.
If my kids did that to my sister I would be v upset:
But then the op will be lying to her mum if she asks now.

Update:

Sister and BIL spent the day in their garden, the doorbell was rung but they ignored it.

My Dad took himself to the cinema alone to not be in the house. Back in the day (when I was a teen), we would often go to the cinema together for an afternoon to avoid these impromptu visits.

I was blissfully unbothered all afternoon, have almost completed Spider-Man 2 (PS5) and ate an entire pack of custard creams whilst sitting on my exercise ball.

Last time I saw aunt and her husband, her husband said “hello, you’re looking well” directly at my breasts (this is pretty normal behaviour for him), then did the same to my sister - just one of the reasons why I can’t be bothered with them today.