Hiding from uninvited guests

[CrazyCatMom]

My mom texted me today to let me know that her sister and brother-in-law (my aunt and uncle) are visiting today (they live approx. 3hrs away) as it is Mother’s Day tomorrow and they want to see my Grandmother.

I live round the corner from mom, and she said they are likely to want to “pop in” and say hello to me too.

Context: I am 39 weeks pregnant, husband is at work and I have a blissful day planned of playing videogames and eating my weight in custard creams.

So I have moved my car off the drive (to a nearby side road), closed the curtains and locked the doors and will be pretending to be “out” until I am sure they have left!

Unless there is a back story to your reason for avoiding these relatives, I find your behaviour odd and a little unkind. Much easier, surely, to say that you won’t be available rather than all this subterfuge?

The back story is that if she said no to a visit, they would still turn up.

Precious.

Do what you have to do. I’d of said it’s not going to happen I’m having a rest day

Don't you appreciate your family? It's a couple of hours, sorry but this sounds OTT.

Well, no, it's not rude. It's done with the expectation that the person may say may say "sorry, not today", and you go away. What would be rude is, after being told "not today", saying "oh, rubbish, we'll have a lovely chat" and barging in and sitting on the sofa.

I don't think OP is being weird! I have done similar and would again.
I don't like having visitors dropping in, even if they are family (especially if they are family!) My friends know me and we arrange things.

People are always more important than video games. Very poor behaviour.

Your poor aunt and uncle. Do they know that you dislike them so much?

I dunno. You can get a bit peopled out.

I can understand this.
when you’re heavily pregnant hormones are even more up and down and tolerance goes down
if stressed that’s not good for the baby or you … sometimes we just have to be selfish …

We used to hide from my husbands brother; wife & kids years ago; our lounge overlooked the end of the road so we could see their car turning into it ; we would keep the doors locked & just run upstairs & wait until they buggered off; this was before mobile phones thankfully because I’m sure they’d have sat on the steps ringing us to see where we were & how long we’d be.
Honestly I don’t blame you sometimes you just need peace & quiet to relax; your life is going to get really busy in the next couple of weeks so enjoy the time x

You could have just messaged back, that you are not feeling well and are not up to having any visitors.

I wonder if all the people who claim OP is weird and rude are the people like OPs relatives who would "pop in" on someone without asking and think it's ok. It's not.

My FIL nearly ripped our patio door off the runners trying to open it when DH and I had genuinely gone out one day.

The door had a feature that allowed it to be left ajar a little for air but locked. We came home to find the in-laws sat in our garden waiting for us. We let them in, I went to the kitchen and heard DH saying, somethings happened to the door, I went through to find him trying to get it back onto the runners, FIL looking like butter wouldn’t melt and MIL saying “I told him to leave it alone”

A couple of hours!! Who has a couple of hours to host unexpected guests who happen to pop by? If relatives dropped in on me without a prior arrangement they'd have to make do with me doing laundry/waking the dog/cleaning the kitchen/cutting the grass/working, rather than actually talking to them, so what would be the point? If we have visitors, all those things need to be squeezed in before they've arrived or after they've gone, they can't just rock up for two hours whenever! Do you all have clean tidy houses at all times just in case visitors come by? How, do you not have a job?

Don't come on here in a couple of weeks/ months saying how inconsiderate they are as they haven't been to see your beautiful new baby and showered you in gifts.🤷

Do you all have clean tidy houses at all times just in case visitors come by?

Usually yes but my visitors wouldn’t even notice if it wasn’t. They come to see us not our house

You won't be able to play this trick in a couple of years as your little side kick will be waving brightly from behind a curtain and showing your unintended visitors their favourite Teddy.

For us it's a no. We need time to tidy and organise the house and then clean, mop and hoover. I mean, those brave souls who turn up at ours without warning MIGHT get us on a good day just after a bunch of housework has been done.

But more likely they'll have to make do with a hastily cleared table, things shoved off chairs, random cardboard boxes around the house in various states of repair depending on how long the cats have had them. Piles of washing on the landing waiting for their turn to move up the queue. Clothes hanging to dry all over the place including doorways, especially if raining outside. Tool boxes around the house where little jobs are being dealt with.

But we have some cherished friends who we don't mind turning up at any time and they know we'll always sort something out for them to sleep on and make some lovely food. We don't go into panic tidying mode because they truly appreciate us for who we are and don't judge.

This, exactly.

Charming.

😂

My FIL nearly ripped our patio door off the runners trying to open it when DH and I had genuinely gone out one day.

The door had a feature that allowed it to be left ajar a little for air but locked. We came home to find the in-laws sat in our garden waiting for us. We let them in, I went to the kitchen and heard DH saying, somethings happened to the door, I went through to find him trying to get it back onto the runners, FIL looking like butter wouldn’t melt and MIL saying “I told him to leave it alone”

OMG - he would actually force his way into your house because he believed you were actually at home????! That’s awful ☹️

I find it bizarre that you think people only deserve support if they’ve previously been available at a moment’s notice, 24/7, just in case someone feels like “popping in”.