Hiding from uninvited guests

[CrazyCatMom]

My mom texted me today to let me know that her sister and brother-in-law (my aunt and uncle) are visiting today (they live approx. 3hrs away) as it is Mother’s Day tomorrow and they want to see my Grandmother.

I live round the corner from mom, and she said they are likely to want to “pop in” and say hello to me too.

Context: I am 39 weeks pregnant, husband is at work and I have a blissful day planned of playing videogames and eating my weight in custard creams.

So I have moved my car off the drive (to a nearby side road), closed the curtains and locked the doors and will be pretending to be “out” until I am sure they have left!

I had to do this with ex-MIL when I started my maternity leave. It was an utterly shit pregnancy and I worked full time until 37 weeks so was absolutely knackered.

Fell for it the first time and let her in when she turned up unannounced. She was still there 5 hours later, sat on the sofa having been provided with numerous cups of tea, biscuits and lunch.

After that, my car got put in the garage, the blinds were firmly closed and the door locked each day. Ex-DH invited her round for dinner a couple of days before I went into labour, she arrived at 4.30 and didn’t leave until gone midnight. I’d gone to bed hours earlier.

I used to do this all the time when I was younger. I'd take my children to school then go home, shut the curtains and get stuck into my housework. The only person I would tolerate 'dropping in' was my Mum, and she would always text or phone to let me know first. I've always been happiest in my own company and have no regrets for being an antisocial young Mum.

Enjoy the solace OP and don't feel a minute's guilt over it.

So why bring it up?

I would have thought the crip feed addition would have been more important to most people.

Everyone on here is so grumpy!

It sounds reasonable to me, but you will be told you are a monster for not worshipping at the altar of Mothers' Day and taking your mum to a spa and afternoon tea at the Dorchester.

I don't blame you. If they live 3 hours away,I doubt this is a spur of the moment thing either,and mothers day doesn't suddenly crop up. Bit rude that they sprung this on you last minute.

An explanation for why OP doesn't particularly enjoy their company but it wasn't relevant to today. She just wanted the day she had planned. Your the one who seems to think she needs a reason. She doesn't.

Because they are NOT welcome to 'drop in for a quick cuppa'!

As I said before, why then drip feed something like the "looking at my...."?

Anyway, as I in my initial contribution on this thread - just be honest and tell them and I bet you that's the last you hear from them

Genuinely think I’d rather chat to a pervy uncle than play Spider-Man on a PlayStation all day.

You want a reason for everything don't you.

Why did she add that later? It made a difference to you because you think OP wanting a day on her own. It's just not.

Why couldn't she just be honest? As if that option doesn't occur to most sane people. Some people just won't take no for an answer and it's easier to work with that in mind.

And some people can't accept that other people do things differently to them and keep asking why.

They live 3 hours away.
You can’t see hem very often.
Making a cup of tea at term surely isn’t too taxing.

Ok, IMO you re just looking for an argument for whatever reason. I'm not falling for that so will let you have the last word.

I'm all for doing what you need to do and screw what people think. Not everyone is comfortable with confrontation and trying to explain themselves.

The people who take issue with this are definitely the overbearing types who get avoided loads. I wonder if my aunt is here?

Glad to hear you enjoyed your peaceful day OP, gotta make the most of it while you can 😁

Tbh, I'd have just popped round to your mum's to see them for half hour rather than go through that rigmarole.

You are 39 weeks pregnant!! You could go into labor any time now!

So what? If she went into labour while they were there, surely they'd just leave? Many women are still going to work at 39 weeks. By all means, if the OP doesn't want anyone to visit, that's fine (and I would prefer a set plan rather than the possibility of someone dropping in anyway) but weird to lie about it and then post about it on social media!

The people who take issue with this are definitely the overbearing types who get avoided loads.

Why do people write bollocks like this? They’re more likely people who don’t mind making a cup of tea and having a hour’s chat with someone who’s just driven for three hours.

3 hrs drive they would likely pop in for a quick brew, hopefully they never plan on darkening your doorstep again if you haven't even got half hour spare for them. you sound like a teenager wanting to sit an play video games all day!!

I am all for this. Also wondering about the custard creams thing, I was obsessed with them at the end of my pregnancy but with lemon squash.

Ha ha, you've clearly never met my mother and her husband.
I got so fed up with them harassing me, I once lied and said I was leaving town, then hid my car 😆

The other side of this is that your relatives may think that you would think that they are rude if they don't come to see you when they are so close .... and actually they don't really want to come and see you at all. It's a bit late now, but a better response would be to have let your mum know that you have other plans and that you are sorry you won't get to see them this time.

Ideally you'd be able to just tell them that you are unavailable and they would take you at your word but some people are really pushy and just do what the hell they want. Don't blame you for resorting to this.

Why should the OP care about their three hours' drive? She doesn't want to see them, end of story. Don't you have boring people in your life whom you would rather avoid? I'm lucky enough to have no relatives like that (I hardly have relatives at all!) but there are a couple of 'friends' I have who are more like very vague acquaintances who seem to enjoy my company a lot more than I enjoy theirs, so I completely see where the OP is coming from.

I wish I still had family to knock on my door. All you had to do was pop into your mum's even for a few minutes. I lost my mum sister husband brother cousin uncle and niece in 18 months.