His best friend pointing out my nipples on a photo

[northernmamax]

Went out tonight with my fiancé, I've been close with his best friend since I met him.

I posted a picture of myself on Facebook tonight and you could see my nipple through my top. The top wasn't see through it was just the marking of the nipple on the top I was wearing.

The caption of my post was "dissertation has been submitted, celebrating with a few drinks"

I'm a student and have just submitted my dissertation.

His "best friend" comments "nipples" and then "I mean well done"

He'd also messaged my partner a screenshot of the photo I'd posted and said "your missus looks well"

I said to my partner I'm not comfortable with this and would be absolutely fuming if he'd done this to another woman as this guy actually has a wife who I'm really good friends with.

I'm really upset with my partner for not being bothered about this.. I feel objectified. I should be able to post a photo with my nipples slightly showing through my top without all of this nonsense

Am I being dramatic?!?

So inappropriate of him.

You are a smart woman celebrating the achievement of submitting something you worked hard on and he is publicly reducing you to a pair of nipples and feels it is OK for him to comment on your appearance in a sexual way.

I would not want someone like that as a 'friend'.

It's definitely happened. Someone upthread mentioned the Strictly threads and I remember lots of comments about Terry Wogan too.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2076296-Terry-Wogans-cock-Eurovision-just-isnt-the-same

From a decade ago but just an example I remember from years ago.

Steer clear off him.

I agree re. harrasment etc. but that doesn't mean it's okay for similar comments to be made towards men either.

I'm feeling uncomfortable for you and the man's wife.
Imagine her coming on here asking advice about her husband doing this?
It's creepy and disrespectful towards you, his wife and your partner.

as DP currently in a sulk over it saying I ruined a good night. Cba with all of it anymore tbh

No, he and his friend ruined a perfectly good night.
I wouldn't ever want to be in his friend's company again as I know he would just be staring at my top all the time. He sounds horrible.

But have you spoken to the man who left the comment?

I understand why you’re feeling deflated but it seems you’re taking your annoyance for the other man out on your DP, instead of on the actual man himself.

Apart from him being creepy to mention it, he has successfully distracted attention from what you were celebrating. Obviously, to him, your nipples are more important than your studies.

@Trulyme no I deleted him straight away.

Man behaves badly. Woman has ruined the night of her own celebration.

I didn’t say it was ok. But it is incredibly different..

Telling you that you'd ruined the night was a fucking horrible thing to do, OP. You normalise these things at your peril.

You will often notice other people's physical attributes. You sometimes may find them attractive. It is still not appropriate to draw attention to them in this way.

Don’t know what PP is talking about. It’s absolutely fine to be able to see your nipples in real life or a photo, we all have them!! If you could see a man’s nipples through their top it would be a complete non-issue, and it would be very weird for a woman to comment on it

IMO it sounds like your husband is proud his friends find you attractive, both him and the friend are very immature. I would be incredibly embarrassed if I was the friend’s wife. I would give DH a stern talking to about his morals around objectification

What a creep. His poor wife too, how humiliating to her and you. As for your partner…no words. These men are showing you what they really think of women, aren’t they?

Congratulations on finishing your diss 🎉

To be honest, I'd be seriously questioning the relationship at this point. It seems he has zero respect for you and the fact he is aides with his friend over you shows he doesn't have any loyalty to you. My ex was like this and happy sat next to me while one his friends touched me and said I had a "sexy body" and didn't bat en eyelid. One of the many reasons he's now an ex.

I 💯 agree with you @MrsAnon6

@northernmamax needs to ditch the current guy she is seeing dating,

Ignore at your peril,
you will live to regret it sooner or later
this type of misogynistic attitude and behaviour will have a drip drop corrosive effect on your cofindence,

It's a big huge flag waving breezling in the wind,

By ignoring something like this,
what other things remarks behaviour will this encourage down the line too
will he get away with

Essentially your boyfriend or partner is enabling his friends creepy pervy behaviour he thinks 🤔 more of this laddish behaviour and keeping company than he does about your feelings @northernmamax

Your boyfriend attitude screams 😱 "
don't cause waves dramas girl or woman just go along with flow",
Your boyfriend is a weak man,
This is the kind of man if random stranger man slapped your backside groped you at all in any way,

Your boyfriend would trivialise dismiss his behaviour " as you being a bit prudish not being a good laugh" or something along the same lines,

Your boyfriend enabling behaviour will manifest in other ways guarantee

Gah, I don’t know. Not great, but if you’re posting photo’s on Facebook with your nipples showing, what do you expect? I’m not sure I buy the faux naivety. Personally, I wouldn’t leave the house wearing a top that showed my nipples. Not sure why any woman would, unless she wanted attention. know that doing so would invite lots of male gaze, because I wasn’t born yesterday. 🤷🏼‍♂️

but if you’re posting photo’s on Facebook with your nipples showing, what do you expect?

Erm, normal socially acceptable behaviour, like ignoring it? 🤔

🤣 okay love x

Personally, I wouldn’t leave the house wearing a top that showed my nipples. Not sure why any woman would, unless she wanted attention.

My nipples are pretty much always showing in just a t-shirt and sports bra. Sometimes through a jumper too. I don't like padding in bras. Not sure how else you would avoid it? I am not interested in male attention.

Utterly pathetic. Grow up.

I wasn't born until the 80s, but my mother hardly wore a bra until maybe the late 90s. It seemed normal for young, slim women not to wear one. As a child, I wouldn't have looked twice at women sunbathing topless in a park, or on a riverbank, or breastfeeding in public either.

Looks t me but don't comment. Right.

My first thought too. He's putting you in your place reducing your success to a wank opportunity
You have a dp who hasn't got your back too. Tread carefully with this one 🤢