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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

His best friend pointing out my nipples on a photo

209 replies

northernmamax · 24/02/2024 00:55

Went out tonight with my fiancé, I've been close with his best friend since I met him.

I posted a picture of myself on Facebook tonight and you could see my nipple through my top. The top wasn't see through it was just the marking of the nipple on the top I was wearing.

The caption of my post was "dissertation has been submitted, celebrating with a few drinks"

I'm a student and have just submitted my dissertation.

His "best friend" comments "nipples" and then "I mean well done"

He'd also messaged my partner a screenshot of the photo I'd posted and said "your missus looks well"

I said to my partner I'm not comfortable with this and would be absolutely fuming if he'd done this to another woman as this guy actually has a wife who I'm really good friends with.

I'm really upset with my partner for not being bothered about this.. I feel objectified. I should be able to post a photo with my nipples slightly showing through my top without all of this nonsense

Am I being dramatic?!?

OP posts:
TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth · 24/02/2024 15:59

Porfirio · 24/02/2024 15:45

Looks t me but don't comment. Right.

Yes, why is that hard to fathom?

Would you comment "Woah, look at that bulge" if a male friend posted a pic of himself in cycling gear/swimwear at a sporting event?

Would you say "God, you've got a fat arse" to a larger friend who'd posted a pic of themselves on holiday?

I'd hope not. Because it's horrifically rude to make personal comments about someone's body.
To post a picture online about an event, achievement or need does not mean you're soliciting comments on your body.

QueenBitch666 · 24/02/2024 15:59

And definitely block the grim creep. I wouldn't trust him near your photos. If he's sharing them with your dp fk knows who else he's sharing them with 🤢

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth · 24/02/2024 16:11

*news, not "need"

DetOliviaBenson · 24/02/2024 16:14

BlondiesHaveMoreFun · 24/02/2024 13:03

Gah, I don’t know. Not great, but if you’re posting photo’s on Facebook with your nipples showing, what do you expect? I’m not sure I buy the faux naivety. Personally, I wouldn’t leave the house wearing a top that showed my nipples. Not sure why any woman would, unless she wanted attention. know that doing so would invite lots of male gaze, because I wasn’t born yesterday. 🤷🏼‍♂️

There's always one, isn't there! 🙄

underthelights · 24/02/2024 16:18

LuluBlakey1 · 24/02/2024 09:55

He's pathetic and disgusting like many men. So is your boyfriend.

I don't understand why you would post a photo that revealed your nipple but I often think I'm a prude when I read comments on MNEt and see the photos people put on social media- I'd never share a photo with anyone that revealed a more intimate/personal part of my body. I'd have cropped the photo or taken another photo that didn't reveal anything of my nipple and shared that.

We blur lines and send mixed messages with this obsession with sharing ourselves and our lives with selfies- do you have a line you wouldn't cross with what you reveal in a photo you share? A nipple outline? A partial nipple exposed? A full nipple exposed? Cleavage? Lots of cleavage? Breasts exposed? Thighs? Top of thighs? ......where does it stop? Why would you want anyone else to see any of it?

Just a photo of you- head and neck- with a smile would have been enough- and too much for me. I'm sick of selfies.

Edited

This

neilyoungismyhero · 24/02/2024 16:22

Think I'd respond with 'how old are you?' Immature prat.

LindaHamilton · 24/02/2024 16:22

LuluBlakey1 · 24/02/2024 09:55

He's pathetic and disgusting like many men. So is your boyfriend.

I don't understand why you would post a photo that revealed your nipple but I often think I'm a prude when I read comments on MNEt and see the photos people put on social media- I'd never share a photo with anyone that revealed a more intimate/personal part of my body. I'd have cropped the photo or taken another photo that didn't reveal anything of my nipple and shared that.

We blur lines and send mixed messages with this obsession with sharing ourselves and our lives with selfies- do you have a line you wouldn't cross with what you reveal in a photo you share? A nipple outline? A partial nipple exposed? A full nipple exposed? Cleavage? Lots of cleavage? Breasts exposed? Thighs? Top of thighs? ......where does it stop? Why would you want anyone else to see any of it?

Just a photo of you- head and neck- with a smile would have been enough- and too much for me. I'm sick of selfies.

Edited

Vast majority of the sexualised comments I hear at work and on social media are from women about men. I suppose they think they can do it openly.

HappyAsAGrig · 24/02/2024 16:27

Congratulations on finishing your dissertation, @northernmamax! What a great achievement - I hope you can bask in the glow of a job well done.

As to the peurile creep commenting on nipples - he's stuck at an emotional age of 13 and isn't worth the breath off your porridge.

Your fiancé is an obtuse twerp not to see what's wrong with forwarding the photo to him in a PHOAR way. Tell him Viz magazine isn't aspirational.

Many congratulations again!

(edited for fat finger typos)

LuluBlakey1 · 24/02/2024 16:49

LindaHamilton · 24/02/2024 16:22

Vast majority of the sexualised comments I hear at work and on social media are from women about men. I suppose they think they can do it openly.

Well I certainly do not do that.

Perhaps it is related to the culture of where you work/socialise. You certainly wouldn't hear it where I work or amongst my social group.

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