His best friend pointing out my nipples on a photo

[northernmamax]

Went out tonight with my fiancé, I've been close with his best friend since I met him.

I posted a picture of myself on Facebook tonight and you could see my nipple through my top. The top wasn't see through it was just the marking of the nipple on the top I was wearing.

The caption of my post was "dissertation has been submitted, celebrating with a few drinks"

I'm a student and have just submitted my dissertation.

His "best friend" comments "nipples" and then "I mean well done"

He'd also messaged my partner a screenshot of the photo I'd posted and said "your missus looks well"

I said to my partner I'm not comfortable with this and would be absolutely fuming if he'd done this to another woman as this guy actually has a wife who I'm really good friends with.

I'm really upset with my partner for not being bothered about this.. I feel objectified. I should be able to post a photo with my nipples slightly showing through my top without all of this nonsense

Am I being dramatic?!?

Semantics 🤷🏼‍♀️

You can block the other guy, but you have an issue with your DP that is harder to deal with.

OP I hate that instead of celebrating your success, you are here worrying about this pervy man and your husband. The shine has been taken off your amazing academic achievement because of men behaving disgustingly. What a world. Ugh.

Are you familiar with the term ‘victim-blaming’?

Are you someone who blames women after assaults and says they were ‘asking for it’ due to alcohol or short skirts?

I would comment back "really? Nipples? stop being a creep, and grow up, you have nipples too"

He may be immature because nipples can have that effect, I know female friends who have commented on “nips”’ etc or he may be a porn crazed sicko. Have you told your partner how upset you are?

I think it was a dumb comment, but also people have eyes and I'm sure the women also noticed it (if it was obvious). Just laugh it off if it doesn't bother you, no need for all the drama.

Rightly or wrongly female nipples do elicit comments, there used to be tons of articles about VBs nipples before she changed her fashion style.

I'd just leave it. He's shown himself up. What a penishead

Same with Rachel on Friends. There was also an episode with Samantha on Sex and the City. It's a thing, most of us live in the real world where people have eyes and notice stuff. I'm sure someone would equally notice a huge bulge in someone's shorts too.

We've moved on since those days as a society? Heat magazine etc with the "circle of shame" no longer exists. Its a nipple, most people are over it

There's noticing it and there's feeling the need to comment on it

@Justfinking my anatomy is such that the outline of my nipples can be seen through moulded bras. Ain’t nothing I can do about it. Should I never post photos of myself and ask for any others to be deleted?

Would you say anything to a man whose nipples could be seen through a t-shirt (with no bra! The HORROR!).

Have a word with your internalised misogyny.

*edited for typo

Why does it matter if you can see a person's nipples through a top? It's not unusual.

Quite. Noticing is normal. Making a creepy comment to another man is not. Well not in my world.

I pity women who have such low standards and still think sexism and seedy behaviour should be laughed off rather than challenged. Poor role models for their kids if they have any.

Absolutely disgusting, vile and horrific behaviour. Which your partner quite clearly condones. I'm outraged at both of them on your behalf. Bin them both.

We've moved on since those days as a society? Heat magazine etc with the "circle of shame" no longer exists. Its a nipple, most people are over it

Have we? I mean it would be great if so but in the real world?

Over reaction : wouldn’t bother me. Delete the image if you don’t like it.

I wear unpadded sports bras, so you can see them through a hoodie if I'm very cold! I don't get the fuss either. Many photos of my mother in the eighties show her in a top and no bra at all. When did bras become moulded/padded?

I would argue the extreme reactions & judging you often see re breastfeeding would argue that some people still have issues with nipples.

I would hate to live in a world where I had to scrutinies every millimeter of my appearance just in case like this. What else do we need to watch out for to avoid disapproval?

Women have nipples. Get over it.

You need to give serious thought to your relationship unfortunately- are there any other red flags?

Sometimes nipples show through. So what?

Commenting on them is creepy.

Delete his comment and block him.

If his or your DP ask ‘his comment was creepy as fuck, not funny, and it spoiled a good night celebrating.’

Those kinds of comments attempt to shame women- either you don’t care and are shameless, or you do care and are embarrassed. There’s no win.

When you can’t post for fear of some creep comments, it’s time to bin them off.

I’d block him because he’s gross and he’s moved your focus from happy to upset, added to friction with your fiancé and will probably make you question what you post in the future. He’s trying weather he is conscious of it or not to push you back in your box. It’s not about who you are and what you’ve achieved now, it’s all about what you look like and are you “appropriate”. Fuck that! Delete the comment and block him. Tell your fiancé he upset you and put a blight in your happy day. What an arsehole.

Peak MN 😑