His best friend pointing out my nipples on a photo

[northernmamax]

Went out tonight with my fiancé, I've been close with his best friend since I met him.

I posted a picture of myself on Facebook tonight and you could see my nipple through my top. The top wasn't see through it was just the marking of the nipple on the top I was wearing.

The caption of my post was "dissertation has been submitted, celebrating with a few drinks"

I'm a student and have just submitted my dissertation.

His "best friend" comments "nipples" and then "I mean well done"

He'd also messaged my partner a screenshot of the photo I'd posted and said "your missus looks well"

I said to my partner I'm not comfortable with this and would be absolutely fuming if he'd done this to another woman as this guy actually has a wife who I'm really good friends with.

I'm really upset with my partner for not being bothered about this.. I feel objectified. I should be able to post a photo with my nipples slightly showing through my top without all of this nonsense

Am I being dramatic?!?

Imagine if you photographed his groin, then texted it to his wife and said; your husband looks good

Not on the accounts I follow.

Okay? That doesn't mean it doesn't happen

Yuck! Any why is your BF not bothered?! I would also be wondering what else they were sending each other! Creeps!

For gods sake. Its a nipple. All humans have them

Just search for the Strictly 2022 thread on here. Lots of people commenting on Matt Goss' tight trousers and bulge. Double standards much?

Noticing it is one thing but very odd for him to make a public comment about it / send it to your fiancé. Not the point of the post I know but do you know you can delete other people's comments from your FB posts? I'd be annoyed too, more so with your fiancé's reaction. I'd expect him to have my back and tell his mate that's not OK.

Are you sure? Terry Wogan's bulge was regularly posted on MN to much amusement

@2Old2Tango @lifebeginsaftercoffee if we unfollow those accounts / call out such posts, we might be able to fight the sexism on both sides.

lemme "Have we? I mean it would be great if so but in the real world?"
I live in the real world and nobody I know would presume to make an unsolicited public remark about a woman's nipples.

The British thing about sexualised nipples is so odd. I grew up in Scandinavia in the 70s and 80s where women would frequently go braless, at home, at work, out and about. No big deal. Not in a 'here we are in liberated Scandinavia' kind of way, but bras and nipples just weren't a thing. If you didn't 'need' a bra for comfort and support, you just wouldn't bother. I remember being told when seeing some women change out of bras in the swimming pool changing room that they were a special garment women whose breasts were very heavy could wear.@Kalevala, seeing your username, I thought this might reflect your childhood perception too?

It’s all disgusting. Nasty humiliating lecherous behaviour and it all needs to stop.

@EveSix You agree with me then “The British thing about sexualised nipples is so odd”. I said nipples & bulges invoke comments, I never said it was right I just acknowledged they do. As I said I think it’s why there is so much angst around breastfeeding.

And I'm cracking up at the thought of it bring common to comment on men's bulges on social media. "Glad you're both enjoying the Mediterranean cruise, Aunt Joan. Such a lovely way to celebrate your 40th wedding anniversary. And tell Uncle Clem that's a fine-looking bulge. Let's catch up when you get back ❤️"

Nobody I know comments on anyone’s nipples or bulges. OP, I am sorry this happened. This would make my husband immediately unattractive in my eyes. I simply cannot imagine he and his friends making sexual comments about a casual photo like that of one of their spouses. It is so damn disrespectful.

And I'm cracking up at the thought of it bring common to comment on men's bulges on social media.

Ive defo seen smutty references to bulges on breakfast tv!

I would just reply publicly to the comment on his post with "creepy" ot "telling on your creepy self" or something.

Why did you post a photo like this in the first place? I find that odd.

I think you are going to find out that your dp is not a decent sort, nor does he have your back op.

I mean, you can crack up all you want but it's definitely a "thing" that happens 🤷‍♀️

lemme, apologies if I misread the nuance in your post.
I often bristle when people reference 'the real world', as in these kinds of conversations it often points to a pejorative and prejudiced perception of working class culture, whether by way of 'defence' or explanation, suggesting that a certain kind of man, inhabiting this 'real world', habitually engages in whatever unsavoury behaviour that is being discussed: "Yeh, you all get your middle class knickers in a twist about X; but meanwhile, in the 'real world'..."

It's not the accounts themselves saying it - it's the followers underneath.

But no, I'm good - I won't be unfollowing but you do you.

If I posted a photo with my nipples visible, I wouldn't be shocked if comments were made. Just my opinion.

@northernmamax

I 🤔 agree too, with one of the ubove poster's who said its red flags all around with your boyfriend and his mate and his even his wife too. !!!

Creepy as anything this trio 😳 equation are

Do yourself a favour,

I can guarantee you will not regret @northernmamax

take yourself out of this rather weird equation sooner rather than later preferbly..

I'd be more worried about having a dp who thinks that's ok

lemme and life, but that's commenting on public figures (definitely not defending that either) -OP posted a photo on her personal SM, so I think her DP's friend's comment is in a different category.

@EveSix My reply was to what I thought was a general comment about commentary. I think the friend was stupid & immature but the fact he did it in full view of his wife implies toilet humour rather than porn addict who is lusting after the OP but I could be wrong.

Differing opinions on here and that's fine.

Never caused a big row over it was just totally gobsmacked my partner wasn't bothered by this, I thought it was weird, then he showed me the message he'd sent with a screenshot of the photo and then that's when I was like wtf how can you not be bothered by it?

I know some men are immature and can't see a woman's nipple without feeling the need to comment on it. No one else did apart from him. Yeah, you can see the nipple marking on the photo through my top, do you really have to comment on it tho? Your best mates fiancée? Weird IMO

We have actually fallen out over this now as DP says I'm trying to start an argument over nothing but I'm just a bit upset that he's not bothered by it. No blazing row just feel a bit deflated and weirded out by the whole situation. Now I'm wondering if I am being dramatic