His best friend pointing out my nipples on a photo

[northernmamax]

Went out tonight with my fiancé, I've been close with his best friend since I met him.

I posted a picture of myself on Facebook tonight and you could see my nipple through my top. The top wasn't see through it was just the marking of the nipple on the top I was wearing.

The caption of my post was "dissertation has been submitted, celebrating with a few drinks"

I'm a student and have just submitted my dissertation.

His "best friend" comments "nipples" and then "I mean well done"

He'd also messaged my partner a screenshot of the photo I'd posted and said "your missus looks well"

I said to my partner I'm not comfortable with this and would be absolutely fuming if he'd done this to another woman as this guy actually has a wife who I'm really good friends with.

I'm really upset with my partner for not being bothered about this.. I feel objectified. I should be able to post a photo with my nipples slightly showing through my top without all of this nonsense

Am I being dramatic?!?

Not remotely dramatic and his best friend was being a creep.

He's a porn brained creep.

Horrible creep. Ugh.

Some blokes just can't see a woman without sex first, humanity second. Be wary of him.

No he’s a creep. Aren’t you friends with his wife on FB, so she will see the comment too?! He also sounds thick as shit. Avoid him at all costs 🤮

Yes the wife actually commented on it saying well done and then he went on to comment that!!

I'm sooo creeped out by it and because I've had a few drinks I didn't know if I was actually being dramatic or not but something about it just doesn't sit right with me. I felt disgusted as soon as I'd seen it and came straight home.

Partner absolutely not bothered by it at all... and the fact he literally screenshotted the photo and sent it to my partner and said your missus looks well?! Just feel like my partner doesn't give a sh*t at all and just thinks of me as some trophy to show off to his friends

I just want to reiterate the photo I posted on FB was not to draw attention to my body parts or anything. I just thought I looked nice when I'd dolled myself up to celebrate me submitting my dissertation

Red flags all round, he and your fiancé both sound like pornsick creeps.

That’s so fucking creepy.

YANBU. It really annoys me that if you can see the outline of a man’s nipples through his shirt it doesn’t elicit comments but if you’re a woman it does.

Makes you wonder what else they're screenshotting and sending to each other, doesn't it?

Immature twats.

You've definitely got a point. Especially since boyfriend is not bothered in the slightest

Not ok at all from both of them
I hope his wife says something to him in private. Can you message her?

I would delete his comments, then block him.

I would hate this too, and unfortunately I'd be embarrassed and made to feel like it's my fault. I know that sounds so stupid.

You've nothing to feel bad about @northernmamax
It's creepy behaviour and if he thought he was funny, he's a twat

Delete his comment for a start

He's the sort who will say something about it in person - be ready with your red

At best, he needs to grow up

There's an old expression that "a man is judged by the company he keeps". If your fiancé is not bothered by his friend's comment, that tells you everything. It's very common to ignore these red flags in a relationship and then one day you realize that you have ended up in a relationship with someone who doesn't share your values and it's too late.

YAB neither dramatic nor U.

What a repulsive creep.

I suppose your partner would be perfectly happy about you drawing attention to a friend's bulge

I should be able to post a photo with my nipples slightly showing through my top without all of this nonsense

Maybe. Maybe not.

The friend sounds immature af and I’d be taking him off of my social media. The least your fiancé could do is point out that it was inappropriate of him. Sounds like this is their kind of ‘banter’ which isn’t banter at all!

This

The friend is a creep. You don't need to be friends with him on sm or in person.

I'd be bothered by your dp reaction. Would he do similar then? How does he feel about women getting groped on nights out ? Does he sexualise women too in this way?

I'd reply 'urgh, what a creep'.

Yes, or realise later when married with several kids your DH has a porn addiction and sees nothing wrong with the industry. (Not speaking from experience even if it sounds that way.)

Tbh, as well as all the other points made, I couldn’t be with someone too thick to see the problem here. But I absolutely agree they’re likely exchanging far worse if your partner didn’t bat an eyelid about this. I’d be irredeemably turned off tbh…

Sorry but I don't know why you'd post a picture of your nipples showing through your top on fb. It would be so obvious to anyone looking at it as you'd not be able to not notice it. He's just stating the obvious and what everyone is thinking anyway, a bit inappropriate yes, but also weird you posted it.

She didn't
She posted a picture of herself celebrating finishing her dissertation. In which her nipples could be seen slightly

Please just don’t. I bet the OP didn’t even know her nipple was showing when she posted the photograph. And even if she did, most people are decent enough not to make disgusting comments.