Detention for asking period question

[Hoiz]

A female relative of mine (year 5). Recently had a lesson on puberty, specifically periods.

After school my relative and a few friends were getting ready to go to an after school club, they were still discussing last lesson on puberty, when relative asked friend if her sister (goes to same school) had started her period. The friend took massive offence and cried. Relative apologised straight away.

A teacher was found and a detention has been issued.

My relative is a nice, sweet girl.

Aibu to think this was harsh?

Way to go to teach them periods are something shameful! It sounds very harsh unless there is more to it. Surely being told some people aren’t comfortable sharing that information and consider it private was all that was needed?

To not drip feed - relative is very sheltered. Parents are very conservative Christians. They go to an all girls school

Yes its harsh. I think it's great when girls can be open about it but a conversation with your relative telling her not everyone is comfortable talking about it would have been fine. Also, the crier could have just told your relative that it's not her business and left it at that

Are you sure this is the whole story? The other girl being upset enough to cry over such an innocuous question just doesn't make sense.

I suspect there was a lot more to this story than either what you're telling us here, or what you've been told by your 'female relative'.

That sounds absolutely ridiculous. So we can't ask anyone a question?? I'd be challenging that if I was the parent!

Doubt you're getting the whole story from the child who was told off.

Fucking hell you are so NBU! Talking about periods isn't a crime. Crying when asked if your sister had started them is a massive over reaction.

They're 9/10. There's a chance the girl who cried has started periods herself and was embarrassed to be asked about it (even though it was her sister she was being asked about)

Yes, the teacher has given the exact scenario in the write up.

A third girl was present who said to the offended girl she was sure my relative did not mean to cause offence.

Curiosity shouldn’t be punished. All that was needed was a conversation around boundaries and respect for privacy.

If it's how you describe it, yes unfair and strange.

But I have very distinct memories of a few girls being bullied for being the first girls to get their period in my school. I still remember how horrible both boys and girls were on this issue around that time. I went to great lengths to hide I was on my period for a long time. So I would be skeptical that that is the whole truth.

Many 10 year olds are sweet around their parents, and then the absolute devil towards certain kids.

Perhaps she asked in a particularly nasty way?

There will be a lot more to this story.

No one is disputing the detention was purely for the question itself. It has not been mentioned by any one that it was said in a malicious manner.

Yes. One of the things would be why she was askin g about the personal details of a sister. Not exactly polite.

Absurd! I'd be challenging the school. The basis of which would be 'Periods are nothing to be embarrassed about and to punish a child for asking the question, is sending the wrong message.'
My daughter is 11 and the girls all know who has and hasn't started their periods. They are very open about it and excitedly tell each other when they start, while knowing there is no 'right time' and they will all start at different stages. It's actually a joy to see how times have changed for them and how empowered they are.

A detention in primary school is very unusual ime.

Can people stop derailing with saying there is more to the story. There isn’t.

The detention slip and conversations centre around inappropriate boundaries. My relative’s mum has spoken to the teacher who was involved and there has been zero mention of nasty behaviour.

It was a very personal question and age 10 is old enough to know that. The time to ask questions was in the class discussion. Yabu.

Sorry they’re in year 6 - which is housed in the senior school (hope that is not too outing)

I was about to say this. What primary schools give detentions at all? Let alone for something like this.

It is rude to ask for such personal information. Fine if someone volunteers the info, not OK to ask.

We aren't "derailing", we are asking questions about the scenario before giving an opinion, which is a completely normal thing to do on a discussion forum are you always this abrasive?

It's an unusual reaction from the other girl, if your relative's question was as innocent as you say. If it did happen as you describe, detention is a huge overreaction, and the other girl needs some support for her anxiety around bodily functions. As both a parent and a primary school teacher, however, I find it very unlikely that this is the whole story, and I wonder how the upset girl would relate it.

How many times did she ask and why did she want to know?