Detention for asking period question

[Hoiz]

A female relative of mine (year 5). Recently had a lesson on puberty, specifically periods.

After school my relative and a few friends were getting ready to go to an after school club, they were still discussing last lesson on puberty, when relative asked friend if her sister (goes to same school) had started her period. The friend took massive offence and cried. Relative apologised straight away.

A teacher was found and a detention has been issued.

My relative is a nice, sweet girl.

Aibu to think this was harsh?

What? I wasn’t even talking about OP’s relative’s parents, or OP’s relative. I’m talking about full-grown women here who think telling a girl that it’s inappropriate to ask about someone’s period is sending the message that “periods are shameful and shouldn’t be mentioned.”

But it is? The reason people feel the need for privacy is because periods are thought of as shameful, and that it would be very very bad for eg someone to know the girls sister had started early/ not started yet. The reason the question is considered inappropriate and private is because of the shame around being 'unclean' or being old enough to possibly get pregnant.

I don’t think that’s true @Boomboom22 there are literally TONS of things that I’m not ashamed of that I don’t share with everyone.

This^
It doesn’t matter what we think if the school and families live practically in a different world from all of us. We compare the situation with a normal state primaries whereas here we have a private very religious school which has its own rules.
It didn’t matter how the slip looked, and how it all became known to OP. The main piece of information about type of school was missing, and it’s very annoying.
I’ve googled Plymouth Brethren Christian church. If it’s this I’m not surprised that detention was issued.

Willing to bet your relative is not an innocent little angel, but someone stomping over someone else's personal boundaries

And exactly what evidence is there for that about this Year 6 girl? Dear me!!

I could definitely imagine myself asking this kind of question when I was that age - it genuinely would not have occurred to me that it wasn’t appropriate. I’m autistic, if that makes a difference, and if I learned something new and interesting I would want to talk about it.

All I needed in these circumstances was for someone to explain that we don’t ask people that; I would be embarrassed but wouldn’t do it again.

You can’t think of any other reason why someone might want to keep that private? By that logic, people must be ashamed of everything about themselves that they’d rather not share with other people.

its ridiculous that a detention has been given for this

But it is? The reason people feel the need for privacy is because periods are thought of as shameful

I disagree. It's true that it used to be taboo to talk about periods at all, and that it still is to a certain extent, and that is bad. But the loosening of that taboo doesn't mean women and girls want to talk about their own periods. I wouldn't particularly want to tell everyone about my bowel movements or about the details of medical symptoms or procedures I have had. That's not because there's anything shameful about it. It's because it's intimate and private information.

I would definitely say the reason you feel your medical info or bowel movements are private is because of shame yes, as you feel people might judge or blame you for them.
That's the root, where it comes from. And why there are so many campaigns, like Deborah, about the signs of bowel cancer. So my point absolutely stands. It's a real problem and why many medical conditions are missed, because people aren't aware what is and isn't normal and aren't supposed to talk about it. Very relevant to endometriosis and cancer and ibs/ chrons in particular

It's also relevant to domestic abuse and relationships, as well as sex and things like choking and anal sex being normalised.