To think I'm about to get very sick

[ohnowhatdidido]

I just ate one week old cooked lobster. It was in the fridge the entire time. And I looked at it and it looked fine. And it smelt completely fine. After about 10 mouthfuls I noticed green specks everywhere.

This was only 5 minutes ago. I'm probably about to be very very sick aren't I? To make matters worse DH and I had a raging argument just an hour ago, so he'll probably be quite pleased that I'm going to be spewing and shitting my insides out.

AIBU?

me and my other half have decided that we will do shared parental leave. I’m am taking 5 months then finishing my leave and he will have the remaining paid 4 months as his company will top him up to full pay and I would only be on Statutory amount. It makes total sense financially to do this however when I ask my OH if he is looking forward to it he doesn’t show much enthusiasm. I would prefer he atleast pretends to be excited since I am absolutly gutted to be leaving my baby so soon. I feel he is being really ungrateful of the sacrifice I am making.
to make thing worse I have been for a kit day with my employer today. I have spent months back and forth trying to set this day up and I finally managed. I am going in for the money to help financially support our family. I’ve come home in pieces because I feel guilty about leaving my baby she’s only 3 months. Also I had hardly any energy to make effort for her as I was physically exhausted (my job is very manual). I felt so bad for this. I had been up since 5.30am getting ready and getting out to drive to work. When I explained I was tired and needed a nap or to have a sleep my OH has a bit of a go saying that he’s tired too and he’s had the baby all day (which I get is tiring but I do on my own every day and he’s had MILs help all day) he then said how he’s tired because he had cleaned the house- which did look a lot better but I don’t know why he thinks he needs a medal for it when I did a large amount of it the evening before.

it’s just made me feel like I am trying my best to financially help to support us and he’s thrown it in my face. He obviously does not understand how hard it is being away from her (he works from home) but I really feel like telling him to get F**ed if he thinks I’m making a load of effort again to try and help out to take the financial pressures off him when he clearly doesn’t appreciate the effort.

AIBU to tell him that I don’t want to share my leave with him anymore if he doesn’t appreciate it and that I won’t be doing any more Kit days or forcing myself to prematurely return to work if he doesn’t appreciate my efforts.

*the only reason I have to return is because I have to pay my contractual maternity pay back to my company if I don’t return for atleast 6 months. At the value of £3.5k to be paid in 21 days I can’t really afford to do that. So I have to try and go back for 6 months and with him taking 4 months off I could do most of this without relying on a nursery.

If123

It would best if you started you own thread, so your question will be asked for others to see.

I completely understand why you shared this thread with the OP, and she may well find it useful.

It just breaks my heart every time I see it pop up as it's such an offensive, unpleasant series of threads that's full of sweeping stereotypes about autistic people. It really does perpetuate all of the public misconceptions - so many comments relate to personality traits which are nothing to do with neurodivergence, but are passed off as such.

It's such a deeply upsetting thread and it kills me that MN allow it to stand. Substitute autism with any other minority group and it would never be permitted but we're always fair fucking game.

OP, you sound as if you're done with the relationship and by refusing counselling, he sounds as if he's burying his head in the sand. If you're in a position to do so, I'd rip that plaster off and make the change asap. The younger your child is, the easier the transition will be for them. Splitting now might also mean that after the initial shock, you avoid things degenerating further which will give you the best opportunity for a positive co-parenting arrangement. Best of luck.

Given the appalling agony that lobsters suffer when thrown in boiling water, it would be justice if everyone who ate them got very very sick indeed.

@DeeLusional Absolutely in fact technically boiling lobsters alive is illegal since they have been recognised as sentient. Lobsters can't go into shock so they die in agony and feel everything. Freezing is also cruel. If you must eat lobster then at least kill the poor thing.

I'm sorry too for what you've described and all the misdiagnoses. There's often things I see on MN written by autistic people describing something and I find myself thinking it sounds so much like DH eg. Most recently someone made.a thread about when they ask a question, people often reply in vagaries but they think they're being helpful and they don't give the direct answer. There will be so many times.i will describe something and I think I've made such an effort to be helpful Just for DH to say "but you didn't answer the question". Just yesterday DH asked how much a meal box was in a subscription that I wanted to get. I couldn't remember so I said they're comparable to an M&S ready meal as I felt that was more useful than not giving an answer at all but he said he was hoping for an answer with a £ in it.

DH is very much a burning his head in the sand type of person. I would love to rip off the plaster. I think we are averaging one fight a month right now..

Also lobster update: still no symptoms

I did manage to clean it all up myself but the smell was horrendous, the poor kids were almost throwing up themselves due to the stench

@ohnowhatdidido how are you feeling?

I'd think you were safe now then?

@ThatsMintThat so far so good
@DocOck I hope so!

This escalated quickly….

I had a whole interaction with a lobster at the aquarium a few weeks back. It was so cool - I drew a circle on the glass with my finger and it moved its antenna in a circle imitating me. I did wiggles and it copied that. Then over twenty minutes it came down to the front of the tank and was really watching me closely and trying to touch my finger and still following the movements. I never realised how smart they were before.

im not a fan of lobster and only ate it once but I’ll never eat it again.

They are very intelligent creatures and they have a nervous system so they feel pain.

How can you eat something that has been boiled alive. Horrific.

I think you’re a secret Labrador. They can eat anything.

are you a vegan?

Oh OP, I’ve been there (although ADHD not autism) I gave an ultimatum, counselling or I was leaving, we went for counselling and it worked, we’re better than ever now. I’d at least try! Good luck xx

I once ate a pasty bought in Windermere. I got halfway through and saw there was mould growing inside it. I felt slightly nauseous later on but was fine. You may be okay but I never eat anything in my ‘fridge if it’s more than 2 days old. My husband does though. Cast iron stomach .

You can get ill from food poisoning afew weeks after eating the food

Just look at it like this, if you get sick it's a great way to lose weight.

@ohnowhatdidido no food poisoning yet? How are things with partner?

Maybe best to make yourself sick to try to get rid of some of it, then drink lots of water and be sick again. Hooe you'll be ok xx

" Just yesterday DH asked how much a meal box was in a subscription that I wanted to get. I couldn't remember so I said they're comparable to an M&S ready meal as I felt that was more useful than not giving an answer at all but he said he was hoping for an answer with a £ in it"

I think that's fair enough what DH said.

'comparable to an M&S ready meal' isn't an answer.

If you know what an M&S meals costs, then you must know what the answer is in £s.

Would you be able to recommend your therapist? I've read it's incredibly hit and miss and some therapists do more damage than good. I'd be really grateful x